“Don't walk in front of me — I may not follow; don't walk behind — I may not lead; walk beside me and just be my friend.” - Albert Camus
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Bandits, thieves and highway robbers plague the southern frontier of Equestria. The hardy, honest ponies that live there fight inch by hoof to survive. But that doesn't matter, because as long as you have 'high noon', you have hope and salvation.
Guess what time it is now?
Silly crossover with Overwatch.
Rated Teen for the use of language and violence.
Big thanks to my proofreader atra116 for his helping to edit some of this junk!
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Sweet sweet randomness... That was good!
7839092
Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
This is fucking great!
7856547
Thanks! This was my first attempt at the genre. I'm very glad you enjoyed it!
And there we go.
7856649
It's Hiiiiiiiiiigghhh....
Well, I wouldn't say I completely enjoyed it (overwatch isn't my thing). But there was definitely some good stuff here!
I understand the story was mostly meant for laughs but for some reason it came off as too long and not corny enough. The writing seemed a little too solid, and every now and then the change in tense would confuse me. In between past tense sentences you'd just throw in a present tense one.
Also there were points where you would just plain use the wrong word.
There were moments when the strange behavior of characters made me feel like I was was reading something from Monty Python or Freakazoid.
However, while there were many clean, funny parts in here, towards the end it got semi-mature (I think you pushed it just a tiny bit too far).
I liked a lot of the jokes but sometimes they were poorly executed.
This is excellent! We don't even need to ask who that pony is. However...
The Rock-Paper-Scissors gag (while initially funny) lost a lot of momentum when you had the characters address the fact that it didn't actually make sense.
Over all there was a lot of funny stuff in this story, however I think it was a little too long and drawn out between jokes.
The writing was solid (maybe even a little too solid) with minor tense issues, and it seems apparent to me that we have different opinions as to what defines Mature.
P.S. isn't AJ one of them there "snobby Elements-of-Harmony kids"?
7870420
First of all, thank you so much for the review! I agree that there are quite a few points that are rather poorly executed, as well as the story itself dragging out a bit too long in the latter half. These points are quite consistent with the feedback I recieved from another and I will definitely try to edit these constructive points in when I have the time.
As for the 'solidness' of my writing, I must apologize as this is my first time attempting to assimilate with the comedy genre. I'm much more familiar to writing rather serious stories and I think that showed quite glaringly.
And yes, AJ is one of the snobby kids. However, she isn't really familiar enough to the Appleloosans (that aren't related to her) to warrant further knowledge that would describe her as otherwise.
But high noon is once a day in every world...
Now that, that is a fate worse than death.