Some months after the Battle of the Bands the sirens find themselves back at the destroyed Canterlot High School statue seeking out anything that might help them.
Slight spoilers for Legends of Everfree.
Chapters (1)
RurounifromthEast
Joined 15th Apr, 2012 ·
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Not bad. Not bad at all. If anything, my biggest critique is that some of the ideas in this story could have been developed a little further. For example, the way you wrote it kind of implied to me that this is the first time that Sonata brought up the whole friendship thing, and it seems a little weird to me that something so small could snap Adagio out of her stupor. You also don't go into a lot of detail as to what siphoning magic from the rift is like. You describe what happens, but you might want to try and give a really vivid description of what feeding on the magic feels like. If that's even what they're doing, that is. It was a little unclear.
That being said, there are some things you did well. It's a little hard to assess the characterization from such a short story, but I think you're definitely headed in the right direction. Things like Aria and Sonata dragging Adagio everywhere show that there's still a bond between them, even if they don't always get along very well. This is a scene that I could see happening in one of the movies. You also did a good job of avoiding a big infodump by explaining the situation through dialogue, and I liked some of the dialogue you used to do that.
Lastly, I'm sorry if this is nitpicky, but you should really go back through this and check again for typos and grammatical errors. I'd be glad to point some out if you'd like.
This is a pretty good start, so I would definitely encourage you to keep writing. I think you could probably expand this scene into a larger story if you wanted to.
7606464 Thanks for the critique Naiad, this something I will probably come back to a bit later on after working some other projects when there's time.
If it's Equestrian magic, then it's the magic of Harmony and can only be truly accessed in a non-self-destructive way through Friendship.
Aside from reading like a prologue (or epilogue) to something bigger, I did enjoy this for the potato chip story it was . . . I am still hungry though.