A drought of interesting, exercise laden event and activities has lead to the rainbow maned blur slacking off, and, naturally, putting on more than her fair share of weight. She also realises that she kind of likes said weight, and then things get kind of really blobby really fast.
Contains weight gain and some minor slobbiness, and by weight gain I mean colossal mound of pony blubber. >w> Tagging for sex just to be
safe, none appears though.
This is probably nowhere near as good as my other stories so far, I've been quite busy and my writing isn't up to its usual par, but I hope its at least fairly entertaining, if a bit abrupt towards the end. XD
Chapters (1)
Why does Applejack see Rainbow Dash being obese as a challenge? If she was concerned for her friend at the very least, that would show that she cares more about her friends physical health rather than just trying to win a stupid challenge, and plus, it better develops her character too.
Also, the pacing is just terrible, though the beginning was Ok, the middle and end just seem to rush by with the following: 'Oh, Rainbow questions on whether or not she like getting fat' then decides she wants to be fatter, 'oh, she suddenly gets overfed with lots of food by Pinkie', 'oh, she suddenly gains 200 lbs in just one day', 'oh, Applejack suddenly grows obese with 300 lbs in a week,' and 'oh, Rainbow now weighs 1400 lbs' there's just too much stuff happening really fast, and it's real jarring too.
Final Verdict: I don't like this story. The Pacing and Applejack's characterization are the worst aspects of the story and with all the stuff you've put in, it feels way too rushed.
7569127
Well, thanks for being honest, I admit this was a rush job XD
7569164 You're Welcome.