It barely took any time at all, relatively speaking, for Sly to locate a ravine where Naqahdah could be mined. While the ravine itself was somewhat well hidden, it was hidden by signs that were second nature for a Master Thief to spot...and once inside the ravine, he could see an entire wall of the place glowing faintly with the energies in question. Once he knew the location, he carefully moved back towards the oasis, trying to spy a path that would allow Murray to get there. He had one, barely, but he couldn't help be concerned at what he'd seen of it. It would leave them both too exposed...and it would be too easy for Seft to backtrack to the ravine, and they were meant to keep him from discovering it.
As he reported all this to Wadjet, she hissed softly. "I know the location," she murmured softly. "But you need not worry about leading Sssseft to that location once you have mined the Naqahdah. You will need to retrieve all that is there."
"All?" Murray gasped in surprise. "I'm strong, but not that strong. It'd probably take me several trips..." He glanced at the map Sly had drawn up, describing just how far away the ravine was. "...assuming I can even make it that far in this heat. Hippos may be native to the area, but that's in the rivers by day..."
"Sorry I couldn't find a river, Murray," Sly apologized. "It looks like the only river in the area has dried up...and from the looks of things, rather recently."
"Dissssquieting, but to our advantage," Wadjet murmured. "If hisss actionsss closssed the river, then the areasss affected will be shrouded by the chaosss energiesss created, making him blind to it beyond hissss mortal sssensssesss..."
"So as long as we manage to avoid being seen, we should be fine," Sly deduced. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Pity we don't have the van. A bit of a retrofit might make it a good vehicle..."
"Perhapssss-" Wadjet's voice was cut off as she jerked her head upward in time to see a fish leap out of the River of Time upon the ceiling, only to dive back in somewhere closer further upstream. "...I have no idea what that meansss..." she murmured worriedly.
"This is only a theory," Bentley began carefully, "but I'd guess it's a sign that a self-sustaining and self-containing rogue element in the timestream just performed a time jump." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "That would explain everything about the imagery...except it wearing a fez. That eludes me."
"Do you think it has anything to do with that big tent outside?" Penelope called out from the entrance. "It looks like it's been there for a while...but I'd swear it wasn't there a moment ago. I was staring right at the spot, but I can't remember seeing it appear."
Carmelita shook her head with a chuckle as she practiced with her flail, focusing on controlling the generated magic. "Sounds like one of those 'mysterious vendor' places out of stories," she observed as, with a flick of her wrist, she sent the magic gathered in the lashes of the flail out like a blast from her shock pistol. "You know, the sort that appear down a dead end alley and aren't there when you go to make a return?"
"Well, maybe whoever it is can help us," Sly observed thoughtfully. "If they can travel through time without disrupting it, then we shouldn't have to worry about interacting." With that said, he strode confidently out to the tent.
A fennec fox dressed in desert garb complete with turban sprang out of the tent as Sly approached, straightening a fez atop the turban as he grinned widely. "Welcome new and valued customer!" he bellowed as Sly approached. "Welcome to Crazy Hassan's Discount Camels! You need camel? Of course you do! Everyone needs camels! I promise you I have the camel you need, cheap! All camels slightly used but in better than new condition, I guarantee!" Seizing Sly's hand, he pulled him into the tent, revealing an entire host of camels done up in various colors and inexplicable garb.
Before Sly could speak, the fox dragged him to the first paddock. "Need to cross the desert quickly? I have racing camels!" The camels he showed here had racing stripes on their sides, and running shoes on their hooves. Before Sly could speak, he was dragged to the next paddock. "Need to cross the sea? I have sea camels!" These camels wore water wings, inner tubes, and had white spots on the bridge of their muzzles that on closer inspection could be seen to be sunscreen. "Need to retrieve something at the bottom of the sea made of rare metal? I have diving camels!" These next camels were wearing wet suits, goggles, and snorkels. "Need to see the sky? I have sky camels!" These next camels were wearing propeller beanies. "I throw in map of the clouds too! Great deal, great deal, aye?"
"You...really have camels for every possible purpose?" Sly asked in surprise.
"Absolutely, absolutely!" Crazy Hassan declared excitedly. "I see from your mask and cane you are a Cooper Thief! Perhaps I can interest you in my ninja camels?" He gestured to a paddock that at first glance seemed empty...until Sly squinted. Then he was able to make out camels wearing black bodysuits. "Guarantee no one will see them! Great for carrying loot, yes?"
"I'm...not sure that would be a good idea," Sly allowed. "We're trying to avoid disrupting the timestream-"
"Ah, you want my Anachronist Camels!" Crazy Hassan declared, dragging Sly over to an area of several paddocks filled with camels wearing various costumes from various time periods. "Guarantee to leave no evidence of their passage in history or your timeline back! Only seen use at Ren Faires!"
Sly blinked in surprise. "Uh...okay? Well, we need to mine some Naqhadah-"
"Oh, so sorry, all out of Goa'uld camels," Crazy Hassan apologized. "Sold the last of them to a man with a gold symbol on his forehead. Very nice customer, if a little strange. Strong warrior, good with kids."
"Well, we can handle the mining portion," Sly allowed, deciding not to think about...whatever he'd just been told. "We just need some to help carry all of it back and to keep anyone from seeing us do it-"
"Ah, you want my dwarf camels!" Crazy Hassan declared excitedly. He dragged Sly into the 'Anachronist Camels' area to a specific paddock. The camels here were all half the size of others, had thick full beards, and were armored in leather, chain mail, horned helmets, and were carrying large pickaxes and mugs of ale...except for one in the middle who was the size of other camels and somehow managed to look like a king and only carried a sword. "Great for mining, dig great tunnels no one will find, and can carry three times their weight! Good price, good price..." He hesitated, then leaned in close. "But don't take Kaa-Rot," Hassan whispered, gesturing to the normal sized camel. "He's better for police work than mining, not a good match for Master Thief, aye?"
"Well, I am engaged to a rather lovely Interpol Inspector," Sly mused thoughtfully.
"Ah, very nice!" Hassan praised. "My congratulations! Would you like some wedding camels?" He gestured to ones dressed in tuxedos and white dresses, along with one dressed in a priest's robes. "Great for all occasions!" The one in a priest's robe promptly spat on Sly. "See, he like you! I throw in the chapel, no extra charge!"
"I...think I'll focus on the dwarf camels..." Sly suggested ruefully as he wiped himself off. "And here I thought having a tiny talking pony as a daughter would be the height of weirdness in my life when she started doing magic..."
"Ah, I no sell Equestrian camels," Crazy Hassan insisted. "They speak for themselves, and I don't deal in slavery, only mounts." He turned to go get some paperwork.
Several seconds later, what the crazy man had just said clicked in Sly's head. "Wait, what?"
OH YES......now sly has a clue about Coco's past, he heard the sales man say 'Equestrian' so he will figure out that Coco is from a world with other talking animals like her, I can't wait to see if sly is able to get the sales man to spill about Equestria.
Yes. All of my yes. This chapter was brilliant. I was grinning the entire time.
I get the feeling this guy is supposed to be some kind of cross between the Merchant from Aladdin and the Eleventh Doctor.
..... SO Crazy Dave of Planets Vs Zombies fame has family.... Why am i not surprised....
...First Henderson, now... CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZY HASSAN!? Very good use of reference material. Slightly used character but better than new! Like Kaa-Rot! Really good at finding iron! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait a minute... I remember something about Hassan being married to a beautiful princess... And Hassan here is a fennec fox... Naaaaaaaaaaaaaah, too good to be a true Cooper too.
Yep. You definitely had fun writing this chapter.
First time I ever heard Equestria has camels. I thought Bad Land only is only inhibited by changelings.
nicely done; also:
why is he (I'm assuming it's a "he" at any rate) wearing a fez? ...well, isn't it obvious?
media1.tenor.com/images/b45fc310e284c19dc2abe0c987cab47a/tenor.gif?itemid=5797415
😐 ...is this going where I THINK it's going?
My god, a Stargate and Discworld reference in one chapter? What sorcery is this? Now I'm just wondering what the hell, Teal'c wanted with a bunch of Goauld camels lol.
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To be perfectly honest, so is he. That's what happens when you walk into Crazy Hassan's Used Camel Shop.
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Hey, why not? Camels have hooves too.
I have no idea what this is referencing.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
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Stargate SG-1, probably Teal'c
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
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That's what I said.
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You ruined it! You were supposed to repeat it back, and then I would repeat it, and then so on, and hopefully someone else would join in!
wonder if sly will remember what crazy hassan said after they stop seth
...Why does this guy make Pinkie seem normal? By comparison, of course.
Holy shit...I just saw the Hassan 4chan website. I can't believe he has this MUCH DETAIL in his character. I'm so glad you're using him. Also, glad to see an update, and I hope you're going where I think you're going.
Oh good lord. Is he going to ask them to leave out fliers everywhere?
Eleven? ...Ya know that makes sense considering the time & space cracks in DW!
I love it! I haven't thought about Hassan in ages but I have to say that having him be a Fennic Fox fits fo many reasons and not just the obvious! ...Anyone else hoping he doesn't/does end up being related to Pinkie/Discord/or even both?
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I really hope Tatsurou incorporates this idea you started on!
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I know I would have! :D
A Fez huh, ello Doctor.
oh wait excuse me I need to look around for something that is old, New, blue, and shaped like a police box the driver always dances at weddings, he also thinks bow ties are cool. Hassan Hassan Assassin......yes that's where the word comes from Hassan to Assassin excuse me while I play with FATE.
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It was probably O'Neil's idea to annoy an ascended Daniel
huh those Dwarf Camels short of remind me of an old movie about a bunch of time traveling dwarfs and little kid....TIME BANDITS!
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Stargate, I think.
...This was AMAZING.
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Teal’c if I was a betting man
If hisss actionsss closssed the river, than the areasss affected
1. Then.
Seems Sly was going to make a Tenttative purchase right there.
The camels that Hassan sells are nothing to spit at cause they spit on you instead.
Not sure if Hassan can be considered a pseudo-cameol appearance or not.
I'm sorry, but you referenced a legend of 1d4chan? I was not expecting it, but only have a single question in response: Where's Henderson?
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...straight on the crazy train and through wonderland? Yup. If we're lucky, it'll make a stop in Ankh-Morpork before it hits Equestria, and I can pay off my tab at the Mended Drum.
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Naquadah is the power metal in the Stargate franchise. In that setting, the gods of ancient Egypt were actually parasitic aliens (kinda like the Trill symbiotes from Star Trek TNG/DS9) who found humanity to be superior hosts, so used us as slaves and took humans to multiple other worlds connected by the eponymous stargates - giant metal rings that can create and anchor one end of a wormhole to any of multiple other gates across the galaxy. Earth humans successfully rebelled and buried the local gate, which then got uncovered by archaeologists in the 20th century and ended up under US military control.
The parasites are called Goa'uld, and their chief enforcers are genetically engineered humans called Jaffa (pronounced more like the Vizier Jafar from Disney's Aladdin). High ranking Jaffa have a raised gold sigil on their forehead - the most prominent example being Teal'c, a renegade Jaffa who's one of the main characters in Stargate SG1 as part of the eponymous exploration team.
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He is in the CMC story.
So how will Sly use this information to help his daughter I wonder?
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I wonder if they make stops at the Shimering Isles I need more cheese and a new skinless dog
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See the Cutie Mark Crusaders for that answer!
A camel for every occassion, even the ones you never thought would be needed... ever.
At least he can say he's never had a customer walk out the door unsatisfied.
For a moment I thought you were taking a page from that used camel salesman in Quest for Glory 2.
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Thank you!
8715275 Yeah. Not doin' that.
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Party pooper.
Nice.
Hey doc.
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Herasy!!
*Crash*
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/819/622/0ed.jpg
Something something Camel Ex Machina?
Good show, lol
Crazy Hassan was greatly amusing. I was particularly fond of the Morporkian dwarf camels.
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Crazy Hassan is an independant meta-fictional collaborative entity that gained a life of its own, you can read more about his lore here:
https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Hassan
So you reference the Discworld Dwarfs, going so far as to include Captain Carrot among it, but not Cherri Littlebottom? Then again, if remember from Feet of Clay she didn't act or want to be a traditional Dwarfs, including the jobs.
But of course, camels and Discworld... Where's You Bastard from Pyramids?
And on the subject of camels there's the observation "Camels are horses designed by commitee."
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Haven't read that one. I've only read the Vimes saga and the Death saga, as I call them.
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I see.
Well, in Pyramids camels are in fact the greatest mathematicians, due to this they helped in the founding of the Discworld's Ancient Eygpt, Djelibeybi. And knowing Sir Terry I imagine the name is a reference to Doctor Who, what with the plot points involving manipulating time.
So many camels
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Already read.