• Published 13th Oct 2019
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Spike of All Trades - Ariamaki



"Wouldn't it be great if life were like a game?", some people ask. Spike can definitively answer... "Maybe."

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Zero Hour: Part 11

"Indra's Net"

A subskill that allowed Spike to Observe not just things, but the relationships between them. In this exact situation it wasn't perfect: He kind of wanted to Observe what (if any) ties lay between The Gamer and these insect invasions, as well as between the Diamond Dogs themselves and the invasion. Unfortunately he couldn't aim his Observe at, ya’know, wholly immaterial concepts.

Barring that he could still look at all of the Dogs present and their relationships. Then the (fairly obvious) relationships between them and their equipment, that sort of thing. As the skill's ranks began to climb from his grinding, Spike formed a mental web for the displaced warren's state of affairs. He didn't learn anything useful in the strictest sense, but exercise and practice had their own value.

Most of these Dogs seemed to have strong, well-defined ties to each other that showed as dark bold lines on Indra’s Net. That implied they were all long-time members of this Council, and had been with Rudy since the start. Some of their clothing and accessories had much weaker and more unstable bonds: Probably things they had scavenged or scrounged since arriving here. The things they still had strong connections to would be the ones they’d brought with them during the exodus.

Spike had plenty of time to collect and collate all that data: King Rudy had to fill his councilors in on what he and Spike had been discussing. That gave him a nice window of time, and neither Observe nor Indra's Net actually used MP or effort. That meant Spike was done crafting his web of data within a minute, and Photographic Speedreading meant he had it all memorized (albeit not fully understood) a moment later. Now he had time open for just... mulling over the situation.

He had concerns about how much of this was intentional, and none of his newly-acquired facts gave him a lot to go off either way. Was this a setup? If it was, how and by who? Leaning into his gaming sensibilities, he considered the why of the situation to be secondary: You didn't have to know the background to know that a thing was happening. Plenty of games only explained their plot in the manual, or on one shelf of the arcade cabinet. Twilight would probably say something like ‘Reasons can come later, realities come first’, although that kinda assumed she’d even agree with his logic.

Breaking the potential options down left him with three, maybe four, possibly explanations...

If this scenario was set up by his own powers, then that was without question a bad thing. He was all for new avenues of growth and the potential to get stronger and discover new things! Just not if it came at the cost of endangering random others... 'Random' because if any of his friends decided to help out, they knew the risks involved. The likelihood for Option 1 was pretty low, it wouldn't line up with his previous quests. Those took advantage of his existing plans or ideas and just codified them in the system.

If it was set up by the Diamond Dogs themselves then it was one heck of an excuse to throw together without even knowing about him. No sign they'd have a way to set up fake attacks, or control the insects for real assaults. Too few of Dogs were present to motivate an expansion, and no reason he could see to motivate a move... At least, not one you’d cover up with such an elaborate explanation.

If it was set up by an unknown third party? Well, that would either require it to be a coincidence unrelated to his presence and powers, or require them to know about his powers already. The odds of the second were... Not impossibly low, but not so high that he'd go and call it plausible. He had shown off very few of his powers in public, and never in a way ponies could understand. Growing huge and muscling up to fling Scootaloo up into Rainbow Dash's cloudhouse was done in a fringe part of town with nopony present, and sending stuff with his flame was unrelated and old news.

So the most likely option based on his current knowledge? Regardless of the cause, this had nothing to do with Spike until he came along and stuck his muzzle in it. The fact that the needs of the Dogs lined up with the services he could provide was closer to a coincidence than an actual concern. They were simply in a rough spot and he was in position to provide assistance.

Honestly, one very real possibility? His system might be involved in a more indirect fashion. Regardless of what caused the actual insect uprising and the encroachment from the Diamond Dogs, Spike's own arrival in the situation could be a result of his buffed Luck. Random chance may have led him to stumble into the situation in the style of a comedy play's bumbling protagonist. That would probably be the most palatable, since there would be no grand scheme and no background manipulator: Just dumb luck and good timing.

Theorycraft aside, the most important thing was the perpetual root question: What could he do about it? No aspect of a situation mattered more than how he was able to handle and confront it, hypothetical or not. The answer in this case was thankfully pretty clear: It doesn’t matter what’s going on because his options don’t change.

If this was actually a setup? If this was just an unforeseen natural event? If this was his own power running amok and hurting others? If things were set in motion long ago and he just happened to arrive by providence alone?

Spike had one angle to play off no matter what: Inform his friends (and the Princesses), then get to helping.

A letter was the easiest way to communicate his intentions to Mission Control. A quick scroll, dashed off to Princess Luna directly from his inventory. Since she was with Rarity and Arcane at the moment, the three of them would be able to pass judgement on the idea pretty quickly. The aggregate opinion from a Princess, a trained and trusted Guard, not to mention one of his closest friends / still-not-100%-entirely-former crush?

A very good starting point.

He'd let Twilight know when the time came, but she'd probably be fine with it: Celestia only knows she and the other girls had done weirder things on shorter notice for flimsier reasons. Same with the rest of Spike's friends who might be concerned about his absence now or in the future... Not to mention friends who might want to get involved on their own. Whether it was in their best interests or not. He made a note to cut the Crusaders off at the pass before anything silly happened.

Although come to think of it, they were certainly inclined to get more and more involved in danger and adventure as time went on. If he helped them to develop and train, he'd be accelerating that process... So the obvious 'correct' solution? Make sure he trained them for the actual threats they might get mixed up in. Teaching them common sense and how to avoid problems was condescending at best and a lost cause regardless: Not even mentioning how unsuited he would be to giving that particular lesson plan.

King Rudy's huddle with his council broke right around the time Luna's reply arrived. It was simple and succinct, written on a thin strip of paper rather than an entire page: Go ahead mine nephew. We trust your judgement. That gave Spike peace of mind as he stepped to the throne once more. The assembled Dogs on the side eyed him warily as he approached, possibly concerned about the lack of guards in the scenario. It was a touching display of loyalty, if a bit overkill.

"Permission to speak?"

The King waved a paw through the air dismissively.
"None needed, Mister Dragon: I have informed what remains of my council of the situation and our options as I see it. The remaining question is how you choose to act."

"...I'd like to offer my services. I can't make a guarantee of success or anything? But I will do every reasonable thing within my power to make this right, for your people and the ponies of Ponyville."

One of the council-dogs looked Spike up and down with a scrunched muzzle.
"Saying you'll 'make this right'. Does that mean you're offering more than just killing the bugs?"

It would take quite some time to explain the limited nature of his current extremely buffed-out state, and the details of his skills... And he wasn't even sure if he wanted to explain either of those things to those apart from his known friends and allies. So instead? Spike decided it was time for a demonstration.

He stepped away from the throne and began heading back out into the tunnels that, presumably, connected to the living quarters. It didn't particularly matter if the council members or Rudy or even Piercing followed him here: His intentions would be self-evident very soon. Now that he had a really concrete plan in mind, and reassurance from back home to boot? There was a pep in his step and a song in his heart.

A very particular song, actually...


"Sometimes you need to make an effort, and make your minutes count..."

Author's Note:

Chapter 92
Zero Hour: Part 11
- OR -
Inspection, Introspection, Improvisation

Sorry about the somewhat shorter chapters both last week and this: Vaccine prep and recovery period for me! All's well and we're heading up to some real spicy stuff in the next few weeks.
--The author

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