- Member Since 13th Jan, 2014
- offline last seen Jun 11th, 2023
Star Destroyer
I lurk in parks and rummage through ashtrays to find cigarettes that aren't completely smoked out. Bonus points if they have lipstick. It's like having a relationship.
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Omfg, that ending. Simply wonderful.
7397840 You say 'ending', but I think it's a beginning. The beginning of something beautiful.
This is the first time I've ever wanted to slaughter an animal so badly.
7397885 Man, that's fascinating. How often have you wanted to slaughter animals somewhat less badly?
7397895
I look forward to the sequel...
Tank: Leg Humper 2 ~ Once Humped, Twice 'Shy
7397941 Whoa! I gotta say, that's a pretty great title!
I'm dying due to the fact I read all of tank's lines with Sean Connery's voice.
Dammit Tank. Couldn't even wait a few weeks for the afterglow to die down before looking elsewhere, could you?
Chapter 2: He goes after Fluttershy's leg but she invites him further up. He nopes right out of there.
Chapter 3: He finds Big Mac's fifth leg. They both enjoy it.
7397954 I'm pretty sure that's who voices Tank on the show, so it's natural, I suppose.
7397966
That tortoise has a tight grip, but Big Mac is willing to take one for the team. What a guy!
7398037 Seen soon after: Spike desperately asking Tank what his secret is.
7397871
I kind of want to link a certain YouTube video, but I'm not sure if it'd violate the site rules about NSFW material.
My headcannon is tank with this voice
7398216 Ha! That's awesome. I pretty much had Gunther in mind when I was writing this. Well, Gunther sort of smashed together with Pepe Le Pew.
You ever actually seen tortoises fuck? It's hilarious! They fucking squeak!
The best line out of the whole thing. Completely lost my damn mind at that one.
This story had me laughing more than I thought. Brilliant.
Such eloquence, sir! I'm humbled! The romance! Truly a love affair for the ages.
7398438 I sent an advance copy to Danielle Steel. She gave it the thumbs up.
This was so stupid and I love it!
Pet humping parts?! Do more!!!!
Hilarious. And for once it's not Spike's semen flooding somepony's house.
7398839 Those reptiles sure do have some volume, don't they?
7398842
Google a tortoise or turtle's penis at your peril.
Eternal laughter if this turns into a series of sequels
This is the best thing I've seen in the last month. Kudos to you, my friend. :)
Lost it
i.ytimg.com/vi/I5Zd4nRqpoE/maxresdefault.jpg
What did I just read?!
7399276 Star Destroyer: Simultaneously making the fic world a better and worse place at the same time. Glad you enjoyed it!
7400338 I dunno, but I've been told that it's illegal in seventeen countries!
7399044 Welp, I'm not that great at following through with sequels, but we will see. It did amuse me enough to write it in the first place.
i have heard of screwing around all year, but a year during one run! one go!!!! wtfwtfwtfh!
"animal patrol? we have a turtle rapest running around"
"whos raping a turtle?"
"no, the turtle is the rapest!!!"
I...I...
What do I even say to this? I just read a detailed account of a tortoise that humped Rainbow's leg for an entire year. What can you say? I...
I'm going to go find something normal. Maybe Long Road to Friendship or something like that.
But in the interest of actually putting commentary on this fic, I believe a combination of these five emoticons should suffice.
7402064 That is the day that the guards assigned to Ponyville's security have a long think about their career choices in life.
7402955 Befuddlement is perhaps the highest of reader compliments. Not likely, but perhaps.
7403293 they already need to. not a day goes by in that town that half of it still stands. that place is worce than the everfree!
cmc
discord
bugbares
ursa minors
parasprites of the bottomless stomach clan
rainbow dash
pinkiepie
need i continue?
Oh god...
Sequel. Need. Now. Can't breathe...
*reads premise*
*sniggering*...
Wow
This had no right to be so funny or well written. I really hope nobody will ask why I'm laughing, the explanation could be complicated.
I also suppose that Sombra simply said "Fuck it, I'm outta here." He has some standards when it comes to fighting his nemeses.
fuck naw bruh
7404308 No, no. I just write dumb stories. No need to deitize me.
7404914 Leg Humper 2: Flutterthigh.
7404989 Five singing Rainbow Dashes. Ever wonder what they are singing? I like to think it's Wang Chung's 1986 hit Everybody Have Fun Tonight. Just look at her up there, just singin' the hits. Rainbow loves the 80s.
7406181 Stunned into near-speechlessness. I suppose that's an accomplishment of sorts.
7408166 Sombra certainly isn't going to stick around for heroes that get tortoise humped. I mean, how slow and/or unobservant do you have to be to get pounced on by something like that? Ol' Sombra sticks around for two things: Grade A nemesis material and anyone with Mello Yello.
Sombra looks like a Mello Yello kind of a guy to me.