Dented Armor
Shining Armor’s attention was now riveted to Redberry.
In his time, the Captain of the Royal Guard got many mean glares. Be it his subordinates, superiors, the Princesses or even his fiance, he always endured and stood his ground. His spirit was unyielding, one of a true warrior and protector.
That same spirit was now desperately trying not to empty its bowels on the quite expensive rug below. There was something off about the way the private stared at him. If you’d ever seen a gryphon soldier observe his opponent, it was something similar. There was predatory ferality in that stare. An unbridled strength and tension. Shining felt like he couldn’t look away, lest he be struck down in an instant.
“Alright. Let’s talk about this. Calmly.” The Princess rubbed her temples, her head thankfully clear. “First things first, though,” she whispered, enveloping the room in a golden aura. “What you see or hear today, Captain Shining Armor, is extremely top secret. It is unfortunate that you heard what you did. I wish I could have just altered your memories somehow, but you’d eventually figure out you have been tampered with. You were chosen for having a specific skillset, after all.”
Celestia moved in between the two stallions, releasing Shining Armor of the heavy, blood-chilling sensation of the private’s stare. Redberry tried to shift around her, never looking away from the point where Shining's head was, but was stopped with a gentle hoof and a slow head shake from the Princess.
“Let me handle this,” she said to him with a neutral tone. After a brief pause for thought, she looked the guard straight in the face. “Shining Armor. Can you please tell me of our political standings with our neighbours?”
The captain blinked rapidly. The question threw him off a bit, but it took him only a few seconds to regain his composure. “W-Well,” he gulped, “the Gryphon Empire in the west has been rather peaceful. We had a few skirmishes here and there I’ve been told, but nothing out of the ordinary. The southern buffalo tribes haven’t bothered us much either, even going so far as to sending an ambassador every now and then. From the east there is the ocean, and up north there is nothing but a span of wastelands.”
An uneasy silence fell. Shining begun to sweat. He tried to think of anything that he’d missed, guess this dark secret that was apparently a great burden for the duo before him.
“That is not entirely true,” mused the Princess. “There is another nation we were not aware of, living in secrecy, not that far away from us.” She looked at the confused captain, stepping to the side to reveal Redberry again. “Our friend here is one of them. Now, Armor, I want you to remain calm. You are safe here with me. Redberry, or rather Chip, is on our side.”
“I-I wasn’t aware of another pony nation up north-” started Shining, only to be interrupted by the Princess’ hoof.
“Not pony.” She pursed her lips, nodding slightly at the shapeshifter. “Changeling.”
Without much warning, the red fur on Redberry’s back burst into green flames. Armor didn’t have even a second to yelp before the whole stallion was ablaze. A blink later, the fire died out, leaving behind a much more massive, charcoal black creature. The monster was daunting in every way possible - starting with his bulky build, shiny armor plates, through the fangs on his elongated muzzle and strange, insect like wings on his back, ending on the twisted horn and slitted, deep blue eyes.
The Captain has never seen anything like that in his life. His body reacted immediately, tensing up for a fight or flight reaction. His breath was shallow and fast, eyes darting between the Princess and Chip.
“Calm down, Shining Armor. As I said, he’s our friend. He’s unique, one of a kind in his race. He came here to warn us and help prevent conflict between our two nations.”
With his ears still glued against the back of his head, the stallion nodded. He silently stared up and down the massive chest and holed hooves. The changeling’s plate, despite the shine it had, was littered with tiny cracks and bruises.
“I know his appearance may seem...startling at first,” said the Princess, looking the changeling over. “Still, trust me when I say that he isn’t as bad as he looks. Rough around the edges and still unprepared to live in our society, but not a threat to it either.”
“T-Those flames,” stammered out Shining, his voice cracking despite his most valiant effort.
The Princess nodded her head. “That’s a sort of magic, a kind of skill unique to their race. While each pony tribe has a special strength in them, like growing food or flying, the changelings are capable of assuming any form they desire.”
“W-What?”
“A small demonstration, Chip,” ordered the Princess.
The so far motionless monster nodded lightly, staring the Captain down. Shining winced, given only a second to look into the cold, almost soulless eyes before an unexpected emerald flame blinded him. He raised a hoof on instinct, the fire gone as quickly as it appeared. Hesitantly, the stallion lowered his appendage, looking back at a mirror copy of himself doing the same thing. Armor jumped in place, the clone mimicking the motion.
“As you can see and feel, this is a most formidable ability. One that, when used poorly, could threaten all of Equestria and beyond.”
The doppelganger stood up, as did the original, gingerly tip-toing forward until the two stood muzzle to muzzle. The captain raised a hoof, and so did the other. They both cocked their heads, letting their eyes travel around one another’s body.
“Even for me, it is difficult to tell you two apart. There is no trace of magic left behind, and their race developed a skill set that would make the best infiltrators green with envy. They can easily blend in, pretend to be anypony, even going so far as using some form of mind control to bend creatures to their will...”
Unexpectedly, Chip sat down, startling Shining to jump back. He could swear he was faced with an invisible mirror up to that point. “Wow,” he whispered, sitting on his own rump, his mind racing. “And such creatures...how many-”
“You have no idea,” said the doppelganger in the captain’s voice, making his eyes go wide in both fear and amazement. “The swarm I came from was immense, with every drone controlled by a single Queen, my former ruler. She...” The changeling paused for a longer time, sighing deeply before continuing: “She is dangerous. To herself and your kind.”
Hearing your own voice not coming from your mouth, but from the lips of a picture perfect copy felt outlandish. Shining was assaulted by all these new realizations, terrified at just how little he knew. It was as if he was watching some kind of play and, unexpectedly for the audience, the curtain in the back lifted to reveal all the props and ponies working various mechanisms and maintenance to keep the show going. He got himself into a mess that could potentially end in a war with a foe who could be anyone. Even…
“Wait!” jumped the stallion, backing up a bit. “If they can be anyone...h-how can he be trusted? How can anyone?!”
The Princess sighed. “That’s the thing. We cannot. He can identify his kin through some kind of pheromone his people secrete. We had him and your sister, Twilight Sparkle, conduct research at the Ponyville Library, and-”
“Sister?!” shouted both Shining Armors.
Celestia was taken aback by the sudden outburst. The atmosphere changed rapidly in the room - both captains were now staring at each other in disbelief, tension almost visibly growing.
For the true stallion, the thought of his little Twily being in the presence of the abomination was unthinkable. Celestia let him near her? His mind flashed with all manner of horrible images, each more sexual and violent in nature than the last. He riled himself past fear and confusion, his overprotective-brother side stirring from its dormant state.
Chip was curious and shocked on his side. He would have never thought that Twilight would have such an accomplished brother. Talent ran in the family, it seemed. Now that he knew about their bond, maybe the changeling could somehow learn more about the unicorn without her knowing? Oblivious to the other stallion’s face changing into an ugly mask, he begun exploring the possibilities in his head - he could ask about her favorite activities, what kinds of stallions she really liked, what was on her mind most-
* * *
”ENOUGH”
The mighty volume of the Canterlot Royal Voice shook the shimmering barrier enveloping the room. Celestia rarely summoned this ability, even less with such passion.
Two Shining Armors got thrown against a wall with a thump, falling the short distance to the ground afterwards. Their fur was ruffled and torn in many places. One of them had a nasty black eye, the other’s muzzle growing a sizeable purple lump.
The Princess was huffing loudly, shocked at the scene that just occurred. She would have never envisioned the usually collected and matter-of-fact Captain of the Royal Guard throw himself like a wild barbarian against his doppelganger. Fur started flying not long after, the two rolling on the floor around the stunned monarch. They nearly toppled her at one point while she tried to part them with gentle telekinetic nudges and commands.
Now they sat stunned as Celestia slowly calmed down, looking over the battered stallions. Fur missing, bite and hoof marks everywhere…
“Are you in a brothel, or in the presence of a Princess, Captain Shining Armor?!” blurted out the alicorn. She snapped her attention to the one on the left who immediately saluted, looking way up above her head.
“I am in the presence of a Princess, milady!” he yelled in a soldierly fashion, his facial expression more likely of a recruit than a veteran soldier.
“Well then, are you a soldier, or a playground brat, Captain Shining Armor?!”
“I am a soldier, milady!” yelled back the distressed stallion, shrinking under the blazing gaze of Celestia. “Princess, if I can just-”
“No!” she shouted back, snapping her head to the other snickering Shining. “And what’s so funny to you?!”
“N-Nothing, Princess!” he barked back in a high pitched voice, whipping his hoof to a salute. He suppressed a hiss as it collided with his brow.
“Just what in all of Tartarus and Equestria got into you two?!”
There was heavy silence as the mighty alicorn observed her subjects, both apparently trying to merge with the floor. She felt so old now it hurt.
The real Shining meagerly raised a hoof. After receiving a silent nod, he began mumbling: “I’m sorry, Princess. I-I just...that thing was with my sister, and I didn’t know!”
“And?”
“W-Well...what if he hurt her?” Despite his trembling, he managed to furrow his brows.
“I didn’t!” piped up Chip, burning away his disguise. “It was just research! I mean, we did kiss on accident, switch bodies and I kinda watched her sleep at some po-”
* * *
Celestia was so old. Every bone in her body was older than the walls of this castle. She remembered events so far in the past, most of them were passed down from generation to generation as myths and legends. The goddess of the sun, ruler of all ponies and benevolent light that shined in the dark felt ancient.
By comparison, the two in front of her could might as well have been kindergarten colts. They sure did act the part. On her left, locked down by an excessively strong restrain spell lay Shining Armor, a few more gnashes on his muzzle and hooves than before. He was looking away, his whole body heaving in hurt pride. On her right was the sitting changeling, looking no worse for wear, save for his muzzle missing an orifice that would allow him to express how deeply sorry he was despite not understanding what he did.
The Princess was dead tired and sleepy. With the two stallions finally listening to her, willingly or not, Celestia finished the briefing unhindered. She didn’t know nor care if Shining got any of it. She got her weights off her chest, tinting the telling with her doubts and fears, talking out all the issues she had bottled up inside since first meeting Chip.
Chip wanted desperately to assure the Princess, to comfort her, to let her trust in him. He had no idea the alicorn, the Ruler, the one he trusted to command him was as worried and troubled as he was about the situation they were in. Ponies were indeed made of different clay than changelings.
Chrysalis was decisive. She had no one to care about, save for herself. Everything she wanted or needed was law. No soft spots. Every task achievable with enough drones thrown at it.
While his rational part clearly appreciated the changeling way of things, his newly developed feelings for the equine race made him realize, in a weird way, just how special these creatures were. Nowhere near as happy as could be, always troubled and struggling. Yet they carried on, leaning on one another, forming a living wall of comfort and security. They were as strong and as weak as every individual brick. Only now did Chip truly start feeling like part of that construct. Shining Armor was dragged into this, and even with all his conflicting emotions (most of which consisted of daggers of hate directed at the innocent shapeshifter) there was a prevailing sense of duty, compassion and will. He knew the pony would rise to the challenge and support the ruler he believed in.
A soft knocking on the door startled the trio. Without much warning the doors flew open to the midnight coat and starry mane of Luna.
“Sister, thou art late with the...w-what is going on here?”
Not again! internally screamed Celestia, watching with a pained expression as her sibling poked at the golden force field with a hoof, a most puzzled look on her face.
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Oh Chip... He's gonna have to get over that aversion to feeding sooner or later. I'm fairly certain his chitin isn't supposed to be cracked and bruised at the rate it heals. If he can regrow an entire plate in a day, any damage from training should have healed long before that conversation with Shining.
4806255
Tahat would require me to up the rating to marture, sex and gore. Naah
The word usage is becoming odd in many places. And the tenses shift now and then.
All in all, it's becoming very uneven.
4806275
Going places
4806426
Dunno about you, but if your brain tissue would be torn to pieces, I would imagine the sensory sensation would be...fierce, at the least
A few issues with the tenses and word choice, but a sound chapter.
Now, kiss, Shining Armor #1 and #2!
...No, really, kiss and make-up. You both have work to do.
4806480 you just haaad to say that now i have ......thoughts.
4806440
Meh...
Technically, it's right: Your brain has no pain sensors... pressure - yes (though not many), pain - no.
Buuuuut, the point is that it was supposed to express crazy suffering.
Incidentally, the 'sensory' experience would be more like random memories, thoughts, or uncontrollable actions/motions/disconnected nervous activity.... almost none of which would be able to be be perceived by the entirety of the conscious mind (if it were actually being torn up...being made up of the summation of the brain, it being torn apart would mean that different, non-communication portions, would experience different things). It's kind of funny though, in all honesty... since many surgeries upon the brain require the patient to be conscious so the surgeon can check what exact portions of a potentially diseased tissue are actually uniquely wired for in that patient.
Yay for physiology, biology, and neuroscience.
4803090 Ah, okay then. But do be a dear and don't burn yourself out. It would be a shame if you vanished after being gone for so long.
Basic rule of the universe? just when you think youve turned off the water and settled in for a quiet soak, theres a tap on the door.
Celestia:
quickmeme.com/img/7c/7c9b03d033a74176fd88bd99864ab7d728a3e3502ed83f1f848348ef6d1afd8f.jpg
4808411
Social norms in themselves are taught, true. But what a person feels is right or wrong stems from himself.
After all, we have tons of people who are taught to live in our society a certain way yet choose to deny that, following their own moral compass. True freedom is about your own path.
Sometimes, we don't even realise we were doing the wrong thing that didn't work for us. Take sexuality as a prime example. Some people struggle with accepting themselves, thinking they are different or wrong, when they were simply taught to accept at face value that "that's the way the world rolls, no exceptions."
Once set free from those doubts, they might find themselves at peace, a better person, sometimes extremely different from the one they were before. I sure as hell feel that way about my journey through life.
As far as the story is concerned, Chip might have caught on a few things he read in his books. Most fiction tries to have the metaphorical good beat the bad, regardless of actual content.
4808203
)
Yeah, I'll have to revise the really bad first chapters. Believe it or not, I have been writing for less than 3 months (my 2 year hiatus doesn't count, I'd even call it a step backwards
Other than the already pointed out tenses, there's this part "(or just Canterlock for short)" which I think should be removed, as the term is referring to something that doesn't fit in their world, and a part somewhere where you put "for for".
As for the story... This got interesting really, really fast. You write cliffhangers so strong that it causes any sane person to be glued to their computer, refreshing the page repeatedly until a new chapter arrives.
Must... read... more !
4808891
I AM SPREAD ACROSS TIME LIKE JAM ON A TOAST.
The tenses
I have no idea how to improve in that regard - any tips would be welcome
Also in the following days I'll be revising chapters so that new readers aren't struck by my less than stellar skill back then (not to say that right now it is anything more than farts on the wind 
)
Next up is an intermission though. Chrysalis DOES have a bunch of highly trained soldiers with her, after all...
4806480
4808943
Tips? Well, generally, it's choose a tense (normally past tense), and stick with it when conjugating verbs. That's all. When doing this, phrases such as "She was now..." is allowed because 'was' is the past tense of 'to be'. You can also check out The Writing Guide.
As for your development of writing style, I did notice how quickly you improved over time from the beginning of the story until now. It's always great to see how fast writers like you catch on to writing well. As for the gap in time with writing, you'll probably need to continue practicing like you did before to become as "fluent" as you were then. I doubt it'll take you long.
Good luck!
4808983
Thanks
Basic summary of this and last chapter:
Everything is fine.
Chip is hungry.
Everything is not fine.
Shining Armor sort of finds out.
Princess Celestia and Chip explain to Shining Armor.
Twilight is mentioned.
Everything is not fine.
Enter Princess Luna.
"God damn it, Luna…"
I'm so glad this story is back to its former update glory
4810057 Never once did Chrysalis mention that he was banished, only that he was on a secret mission to infiltrate and sabotage Equestria. As far as Chip knows he has done something wrong and is being sent away for a time. He has mentioned several times that he has plans to return and show Chrysalis the good parts of Equestrian society. If he had been banished he should know that he would not be allowed to return. He might perhaps dream of returning but he would know what fate would await him should he do so.
What I had been trying to point out is that the knowledge of the writer/reader (where he has been sent away because his presence is threatening to Chrysalis, who hopes to never see him again) has been unintentionally blended with his character knowledge (where he has been nearly killed and sent away because of some mistake or shortcoming of his own but that he may return one day to a figure who cares for/loves him).
This creates a contradicting state of mind for Chip. His apparent understanding of subtext and the psyche of his leader has allowed him to infer that his leave of absence was intended to be more permanent and severe then was stated by his adoring leader (who has no evil intentions and merely needs to be shown the error of her ways for the world to again be SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS!) contrary to the celebratory send off she gave him. Despite the knowledge that the mare that raised him never wishes to see him again he is openly planning to return and show her how she might live in harmony with a creature she regards as nothing more than food despite it's obvious intelligence.
The reason I call chip naive is because he doesn't know any better. He's childlike: and for good reason. At the time he leaves the hive he seems to be a year old. Without access to the Hive Mind he doesn't know that the world is not always sunshine and rainbows. Fantasy novels often paint the world in idealistic landscapes where the darkness, although tragic, will pass in time. History books are usually also vague concerning the more disturbing details unless they are very specialized. Chip isn't cynical enough to look for the bad in someone. He's not stupid, just inexperienced.
I think that rather than "banishment" Chip would see his time away from the hive as a learning experience. Chrysalis sent him away presumably because of something he did wrong (at least in Chip's mind) and so the task she has "assigned" him is either meant to punish him or teach him his next lesson.
4816365
He was stabbed in the back and nowhere after that point was it implied that he wanted to pull through with his plan to help her see ponies differently. That was his dream during the period he was learning how to shapeshift (the few chapters after the banishment are a flashback).
As far as he could tell, he was cut away from the hive - thrown out, banished. It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together, especially if you had a secret that bogged down your conscience, making the issue blown out of proportion.
SPOILER ALERT
As you might have seen in the later chapters, he even prepares for the eventuality of a confrontation with Chrysalis. Hell, he was being nearly assassinated. I'm pretty sure he won't be going back.
4816429 OK. I'll take it that that is the intended cannon. My confusion is coming from a passage in Chapter 15 which takes place after the fliashback.
This passage also makes me think that, backstabbery asside, Chip still cares for his queen.
4818097
I'll correct that 
Thank you!
Oh! I see - that must be an inconsistency on my part then
4816695
This was started waaay before the comics were a thing, when A Canterlot Wedding was fresh and new - it would be confusing to rewrite all of this now, so I'm sticking with it. I'll be cowardly hiding behind the "Alternative Universe" tag if anyone needs me
4806686 Ooh, I like this idea... So if somepony tried to hold a struggling Manticore in TK, they would have to struggle with minor to major memories\flashbacks. And mental trauma\shock could directly affect a unicorns ability to control their magic. Throw in the idea of magic being powered by emotion, and some socks could even enhance one's magic... Like Shining Armor learning that Chip kissed Twilight.
As much as I like the comics, the movies are probably more canon than they are.
4825322
Ya, I really liked them but somehow kinda stopped reading them all of a sudden
lol Mean cliffhanger. XD
Interesting portrayal of Changelings; Chrysalis is more diabolical and clever than I am used to, and the Changeling race as a whole is more irredeemably evil. Certainly worth following.
By the way, I am pretty sure it would be "Thou art late" or "Thou beest late".
"Thou is being late" would be like saying "You is being late."
4838165 Not evil. Predators who look upon ponies as prey. It is their nature and not evil. Chrysalis, on the other hand is evil in this story and deliciously so.
Oh chip... You're so clueless.
Again? Wait, Celestia didn't tell Luna of the plan?! 😮
I started cackling when I read that
Brothel? I don’t think that word means what you think it means in this context.