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Daaaw
7380064
Thank you, I was hoping for such reaction.
Awesome, before the begin. I liked the interaction of the characters! Good job.
This was a neat little story. I don't think it needs a "tragedy" tag, especially since it effectively had a happy ending. Maybe "drama" is more appropriate. In either case, I liked it.
7380081
Thank you for pointing it out.
7380438
First of all, I'm glad you enjoyed my story.
Regarding your criticism,
This is the first time anyone pointed the problem with the tone in my writing, so I'll be keeping it in mind for future work.
Unfortunately, I am not going to write a future chapter with a flashback in this story simply because I need to focus on my other works. Though, in hindsight, including it in this one might have been a good idea if only I thought of it before posting the story.
Thank you for taking your time to point out the flaws in my story, I highly appreciate it.
I have to agree with StrangeReasoning here. This is more world-building that character piece. Without getting to know Star and Fall before hand, without getting to know this Dragon Arch-Mage that even Celestia herself cannot go against. There is little emotional weight behind everything here, and the timing off it is odd... after all, you would of expected that someone like Dark Seeker of the End Times would of come up way, way sooner than it has in the show...
Good idea, but the execution needs more work.
7383149
Then, if I may be so bold to ask, how much emotional stake should I add in this story?
Bearing in mind that this is to remain a oneshot. What would you suggest I do in order to fix that particular problem?
7383242
Not have it as a one-shot.
7383442
I would love to, but I don't have time to juggle three stories at the same time, maybe in the future. Just not now.
7383453
Probably for the best.