Ultra-Light Conclusions
“Am I going to turn around and see another five of you clowns?” Newlight deadpanned.
“Nay. There is but the three of us.” Middlelight said. She was between Old and Newlight in size.
“Could be worse I guess.” Newlight grumbled. “You, ex-Luna, what’s your story? Why are you in my universe?”
“An accident.” Middlelight said.
“You accidentally teleported into this universe or something?” Newlight asked.
“I accidentally destroyed mine.” Middlelight smiled sheepishly.
“Pipsqueak here the bright idea of merging her entire universe with a younger one to stave off the heat death.” Oldlight explained. “Turns out that matter that isn’t Twilight Sparkle gets canceled out by matter from another universe, like matter and antimatter. Both universes exploded so violently that a couple trillion universes were flattened outright and another trillion became detached from the continuity of time and causality.”
“T- T- T- TRILLIONS?” Newlight screeched. “You’re talking casually about the death of trillions of universes! That’s like a trillion-trillion lives! How many Twilight Sparkles were killed?”
“Uh, zero.” Oldlight grunted. “I mean, besides in universes where a Twilight wasn’t yet born or wasn’t yet an alicorn. Once you gain those pretty wings, nothing short of the Ultra Twilight can kill you.”
“Buck you.” Newlight spat. This was getting ridiculous. “What the hell is an Ultra Twilight?”
“I’ve met many other Twilights from my days hopping around universes. Some were older, some were younger. The oldest Twilight I ever met was the one who told me about the Ultra Twilight. Imagine that all ponies, alicorns, zebras, whathaveyou in your normal universe are ants. You, a Twilight just made alicorn, is like a rat. That’s a few orders of magnitude above, and that’s understating the gulf. In this analogy I’m the size of a dog.”
“I would be a slightly smaller dog.” Middlelight contributed.
“Get the buck out of here. You’re closer to her age than mine.” Oldlight scoffed. “That makes you a slightly larger rat.”
“Fine.” Middlelight pouted.
“Anyway, the oldest Twilight I ever met would be comparable to twenty or thirty whales. And I mean big blue whales, not minke or belugas. She was utterly massive. The Ultra Twilight though…” Oldlight leaned forward. “The sun? Larger still? A thousand suns? Inconceivably old and huge. The Ultra Twilight is basically god.”
“Why does existence require a metaphysical god?” Newlight asked.
“Because why else are Twilights like this? Why do we exist to hop between universes? By all rights we should live like other alicorns or be confined to our own universe. There must be an all powerful entity making this possible for us.’
Newlight saw the logic of it. “Is she worshiped?”
“What would be the point? The Ultra Twilight already favors us clearly. Besides she’s the one and only god above literally infinite Twilights. Do you think individual prayers could reach her?”
“I must be more mature than you in this one way, Oldlight, because I believe in omnipotence.” Newlight laughed. “After everything you’ve shared how can I not? If there is a prime mover out there she must necessarily be capable of absolutely everything.”
Middlelight spoke up. “Unless that first movement she made was in a realm of nothing. It doesn’t take much to disturb nothing.
Oldlight snorted. “Profound.”
Newlight rolled to her hooves. “Not that it hasn’t been exhilarating, but my friends have been waiting on me for the last hour. They’ve really got to be wondering where I am.”
With a puff of smoke, her cosmic counterparts returned to the shape of Celestia and Luna. “Of course dear Twilight. I have kept you long enough.”
Luna took a step forward. “Would’st thou mind if I join you?” She winked.
“It actually kinda a friends and family thing.” Twilight Sparkle smiled apologetically. “I mean if you want to, but relatives I haven't seen in a while and-”
“Oh no no I wouldn’t want to steal the spotlight or anything.” Luna quickly started making excuses, blushing deeply. “It is your special day. Your family…” She shut her mouth.
“Yeah, it a family thing. Family get together. And friends... You’re still welcome! Don’t think your not.” Twilight was trying to salvage it and failing. “My mother would love to meet you. Probably...” She fell quiet as well.
Without another word, Twilight left the room.
Celestia waited for the clip of hooves on marble to fade to remark. “That was cringe-inducing. What were you even trying to do?”
“Verily, never has anything been so awkward.” Luna agreed softly. “Please, kill me.”
“Actually, I can think of ONE more embarrassing thing.” Celestia grinned deviously. “Remember what happened to the original Celestia and Luna?”
“OH GOD.” Luna cried, her whole face becoming as bright red as her cheeks. “I am no longer in need of death. Surely this is hell already.”
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Okay, now I'm curious. What happened to the original Celestia and Luna?
Sparkception...
We've got to go deeper.
This story seems to be off to a good start. I think I'll watch to see what happens.
Oops. Forgot to change it to completed. Sorry to disappoint but sleep deprived crack-fic inspiration comes but once for every gem of an idea.
They're a little bit inaccurate, though. Twilight's not the only one to hop across universes.
7292179
Entertaining read. Have a well-earned Like.
One part in particular stood out for me...
I especially liked that part; reminded me of why I believe in God, but not in religion(s).
"God neither asks, nor wants, nor needs to be worshipped. Why...? By definition of being God."
~ George Carlin
7291938
Got two theories: First, they wound up suffocating in an embarrassing, possibly erotic situation that may, or may not, have involved both of them at the same time, with or without company...likely during the early bit of their reign after getting the wingss and position...alcohol might have also been involved.
Second, they wound up tripping and breaking their Alicorn necks on a set of stairs, designed by Sombra, hence Evil Stairs.
If there are more theories I think of, I'll add them later, but those were the two that would have made my Luna/Middlelight know she was in hell.
I loved both the story and the author notes.
So... wouldn't that mean that knowing the importance of the event, Middlelight disguised as Luna became Nightmare Moon, allowing Newlight to meet her friends and get The Elements of Harmony, allowing everything to happen as per canon?
You may have been typing too fast late at night and forgot an 'r' probably just saying-
7292488 Thanks
I can't keep myself from salting stories with a bit of philosophy no matter how silly they're supposed to be.
7292575 Who said they died?
But trust me friend... To know of the unspeakably embarrassing event is a curse that even Mary Sue power-fantasy Twilights are crippled by. Were a mortal to hear the truth of that happening, they would cringe themselves out of existance, leaving a shamefaced hole in reality at all points forward and backward in time.
7293297 For the most part, the disguised Twilights from Other Universes exist and act like Celestia an Luna would. It's only when the normal chain of causality breaks (Newlight becomes an alicorn, or if a fourth Twilight had arrived and begun disrupting things) do their true self supersede their disguise persona.
7293603 Fixed, thank you.
And yes, I was struck by the odd impulse to make this fic around midnight and spent until 4:30 AM writing it. My sense of humor and inhibitions go way down without sleep. So too, apparently, does my editing skill lol.
B-but, I like Luna and Celestia.
7291934 There was a story on how Twilight discovers that Luna has many "shadows" representing different facets of her, and Celestia is just the perfect side, while Nightmare Moon is her jealous side, so Celestia is actually just a part of Luna. Just for the record, Twilight is not also Luna.
Here you go: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/316780/the-shadow
This story is quite similar, honestly.
7295334 Spoiler:EXISTANCE ITSELF IS TWILIGHT!!!
FInally I have a reason to use one of these pictures.
How I imagine a VERY old Twilight, but still sub-ultra level.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/3/26/279638__safe_twilight+sparkle_princess+twilight_alicorn_unshorn+fetlocks_macro_artist-colon-foxenawolf_tyrant+sparkle_pony+bigger+than+a+planet_multiple+wings.jpeg
What the fuck did I just read?!!?
Wait a minute is this pure crack?! Because it has to be. Oh what ever this was hilarious.
-BFBL
7397510 I have made purer crack before. I'm sorry if you were expecting heartfelt or insightful from this fic. Perhaps the tags could have tipped you off.
7293628 That seems code for 'I cant come up with something adequately hilarious'
ALAS OG CELESTIA AND LUNA WE SHALL NEVER KNOW
.....Now you have to do one of what happened.
nice work on all chapters