Draconequus like their homes to be of a certain standard in both advancement and energy. I'm almost half done making this planet more tolerable only for things start going wrong because apparently my presence offends a few zealots who moved in later.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I like it, can't wait to see what happens next. Also if you do decide to continue this consider getting a editor to fix the few mistakes you made near the end, but yeah this has really caught my interest.
I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
'Til the landslide brought it down
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older too
And I'm getting older too
Oh, take my love, take it down
Climb a mountain and turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide will bring it down
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide will bring it down
The landslide will bring it down
I'm in please continue.
First interessting crystal image, and I have to admit that I skipped some of the descriptions of the characters, since like some other said it once, if you are on this side, then there is a big chance that you already know those characters, but I don't really mind it either.
Sooooo beside a slow start, this is not bad.
Okay I admit I was interessted in another Draquo...whatever dating some other Mare, and I didn't expected it to be a Girl, but it is still interessting.
The only thing that is a suprise to me, is that now Discord is an option to.
Okay I like this character, and I hope it is really something like Human turned .....Draqouuu (next time I look at the word and write it correctly), and that he has more or less not memories or doesn't knows this world, it is just a bit more funny that way.
- Not sure what I should wish for right now, but as soon as I know which one is her happy Husband or Marfriend (interessting to), I could probably ask for more.
- I always like adoption, but I feel like this could be something for a sequel this time.
- hhhhmmmm her speaking a different language would be interessting but Discord could change that pretty quick I think. (I like language barrier too.)
- naaa I give up, I sleep first and then start to get better ideas than those I already have.
Well I like this story so far, and everyone that gave a downvote already has judged it to quickly. I only noticed a few wrong words, but I feel there is no need to find an editor to quickly, but it could help against small mistakes.
7609945
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Interesting, But how to apply a language barrier to a race of reality warping beings?
Meh i might think of something.
7610001 The only thing I could image is, that the former he, or she (the new Dragon girl), if she was Human before, just doesn't speak their language yet and can't do the magc quite right.
I already noticed some sort of rules they sometimes set for characters like Discord and try to make it so he can't do everything to solve every problem.
Or they just can't easily change the information the brain would need to understand that different language right away, but that doesn't really convince me right now.
Maybe they can't controll the mind/soul of another Draconequus?
Okay now I realy need my sleep.
7610035
I Actually have something in mind for the language barrier that will stir up a bit of trouble.
i.imgur.com/2Y7ZX3q.gif
Will there be more?
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+1 Thumbs up
7610516
Most definitely my friend, most definitely.
i.imgur.com/RzmBafO.gif
It has potential
7610064 The picture doesn't seems to work, but I trust you with that.
7611296
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I am loving this story and can hardly wait for the next chapter!!!
Looking good can't wait for chapter 2. Keep up the good work!
It needs some proofreading, but it's not bad.
i thought it was going to be a guy from the cover picture im so confused good story though lots of detailing i like it
7621069
Well then tune in for the next chapter to find out.
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i think i'm addicted to gif images.
>>Dark Law
I will stay tuned don't dissapoint me
7622619
I will endeavor to do so.
You have my interest. Also, needs a some spelling tweaks here and there, but otherwise not bad.
Okay, I'm kind of running short on time to carefully read the whole chapter now, but a few things I noticed:
Write names always with CAPITALS at the beginning.
Be aware that words like apples aren't names and thus there is no need to use capitals - this one wasn't that recurring.
It should actually be "Pinkie," begun Rarity, "What in...darling."
In direct speech, always use a comma ( or question or exclamation mark etc.), not a full stop. Also, it's still inside. The next sentence then starts with small first letter.
Also, reader can get confused by the lack of description. Just like when the mane 6 enter the castle. I know that it was a complete chaos in that moment, but when there is 'Fluttershy replied:...' out of nowhere, it's like "The hay? She was here from the beginning?" But if you wrote: "Fluttershy came from behind AJ..." or Fluttershy peeked out the door..."
You can gave each of them an individual (chaotic) entrance, yet still keep the reader informed
Good luck!
9572586
???
Who’s the draconequus in the portrait picture of the fic? It’s clearly not the same as the one shown in the picture
9628551
The Main Character, the one here is another OC.