- Member Since 12th May, 2012
- offline last seen Jul 4th, 2013
ArdanBlade
I'm a writer with a deep love for stories of all genres, particularly those tales with no need to conform to one standard.
ArdanBlade
Joined 12th May, 2012 ·
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Nice!Moar please
ow and FIRST POST SUCKERS!
Wow, talk about your bittersweet endings.
765587
Of course! The Mare's Tails will continue as my main story progresses. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
766162
Not all romances have happy endings. It gives the characters a chance to grow, to learn about themselves. Call it a little self indulgent exploration of the effects of those whirlwind relationships, and how they can change somepony's outlook on life. (Look at me, ranting like I've got something important to say!)
Feel free to delete this, just thought I'd note for ya, in the description, you should have "at my discretion". To Digress means to go off topic.
769196
Thank you for the correction. I don't know why I missed that!
A pretty well written tale, just a few criticisms.
You have some great scenes set up here, but you don't give them nearly enough description and time to shine. I barely have time to appreciate a scene before you've moved on to the next, sometimes only giving a scene a sentence or two. Spend some more time describing them, the feelings, the actions & reactions. Especially during the scenes that are so unique like dodging through the trees, or the Mile High Buck Dive, which should have been the pinnacle set piece of the story but instead just feels rushed and glossed over.
The only other major critique is that these are ponies, so they don't have breasts on their chests like a human. If described at all, they'd be between Dash's hind legs, just in front of the vagina.
I'd love to read another version of this if you decide to give it some work. PM me if you decide to make some improvements to the story or want a more in depth critique.
769375
Thanks for the critique. I appreciate it, and will see if I can find the time to revise it accordingly. After all, writing can't get better if nobody tells the writer anything's wrong.
sex while skydiving eh? I just got my new vacation plan!
775837
What else would Rainbow be doing out in the middle of the night?
77755she could be sleeping, breathing, reading a daring do book, having a late-night snack, hitting a nightclub, getting some clouds, drinking water, thinking, snoring, drooling, flying, or walking.
You're always doing something, whether it's conscious or unconscious.
nah, I'm just messing with you. anyways, great story!
783507
Glad to hear you liked it. I may do an improved revision soon, so keep an eye out!
THIS SEEMS FAMILIAR TO A DRAGON DOCUMENTARY ON THE LOCAL WILDLIFE TRANSMISSION ON YOUR "TELLY"
783952
Dragon documentary? Hmm...
784668 IT STARRED 2 MOUNTAIN DRAGONS MATING IN FREEFALL. THEY LATER HAD DESCENDATS THAT WERE SLAUGHTERED BY HUMANS
789363
Interesting, I believe I've seen bits of it. That however, would have been based upon Eagles, who perform a very similar practice.
789864 YES I'VE SEEN I STUDY A PLANET'S WILDLIFE BEFORE THEY ARE EXTERMINATED! IT WAS NAMED DRAGONS: FANTASY TO LIFE OR SOMETHING OF THE SORT
789897
It does sound familiar, and to be honest, I do like the image for pegasus ponies. While it's less about the sex and more for the lessons learned, I can definitely see Rainbow Dash being enough of an adrenaline junkie to get a thrill in like that.
Thanks for reminding me of that documentary, by the way! I think I'll go try to find it!
790861 I AGREE AS WELL. DALEKS HAVE NO CONCEPT OF "THANKS"
too many exclamation points.
865460
Got it. Thanks for the feedback, I'll try to avoid doing that in the revision and future updates.
866151 other than that, I enjoyed it...
yes like that. 
769532 I actually really agree with the critique given. In order for the scenes to have effect, they do need to be more than two or three lines.
Still, good story. Not QUITE good enough to get someone off (unless they're really unstable or really imaginative), but good enough to get the ol' blood flowing.
I'll have to look for more of these.
was great till you had to add breast they dont have any!! gah!