Wolfman32
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Hmmm... quite well written, i actually do hope that there might be a continution with both "families" merging together in the future, threesome fun etc.... that would make for an interesting read
7203112 thank you for commenting. Though unless someone else would want to do it I don't think there would be a sequel or anything.
One thing I would like is if you tagged the story properly.
Normally I'd mention things like never use numbers always type them out sixteen not 16, or capitalize the first word of dialogue as if it was a new sentence, even when it's not. Grammar things. I might talk about how you used dragon way too much to a point it was repetitive... We know their dragons we don't need to be told that thirty times in five paragraphs.
Normally, but instead I find myself forced to focus almost entirely on the story as a whole. The entire thing is simply sad to me. This is not a happy fic about love in my eyes as you seem to have intended. Everyone in this fic suffers greatly in fact. Rarity is unknowingly being cheated on and what makes it worse was had he gone to her first she may have been understanding. Equines are herd animals after all, and dragons... seem reasonable to be polygamous by nature. Ember is in love with someone she rarely sees and who she can't really be with full time until Rarity dies in potentially seventy to one hundred years (Granny Smith is like 200 years old or something crazy) and that's if she doesn't become immortal somehow. Twilight's ascension has always created room for the other Elements to ascend too. If Rarity dies Spike's child with her will now be forced to realize that her father was sleeping with someone else who he will, as the story sees him all to ready to do, immediately jump into's arms. Even if somehow his child with Rarity is accepting of that, his child with Ember will likely hate Rarity as the reason his father isn't around. Which to top off, will make them hate Jade who their father was always around for when they were growing up, unlike Malachite. There's no version of this where someone isn't terribly hurt. Perhaps the worst part is that all of it simply comes off as being Spike's fault for being a coward and not just being honest about his feelings with Rarity. The whole thing is sad and tragic.
Well done even my first thought is Spike has two wives, Rarity and Ember
7206411 I'm actually considering a second chapter
This makes me sad. Really.
7218801 YES! Do it! I must know how Rarity responds to finding out! I MUST!
Two things, I love this story. Loved it, there was some errors but nothing major. Next thing this makes me think of that three year roleplay you told me about.
This have a great sequel!
This is a good story can you do more
8116532 Been thinking about but just never get in that mood to write all the time
8120487
I know the feeling, but folks are right - this is just the start really.
Spike's cheating on Rarity, and while Ember knows it, it could break Rarity. Whole lot of ways things could go here, from reasonably happy to some INCREDIBLY dark places.
This is great.
Nice story hope there will be more at some point
7203141
Even though I saw many mistakes, I would like to see a continuation of this as well.