Agony: fractued soul

by outerjay

CH 1

"Jason ‘Agony’ Brolly, that's his name. Just call him Agony though, he prefers it to his real name." said a smooth voice, clearly belonging to someone blessed with a silver tongue.

"And who might you be?" A royal tone questioned.

"Me? Well you can call me Greed, everyone else does." As Greed finished his introduction, a guard walked in interrupting him.

"Highest pardon for the intrusion, my princess, but Twilight Sparkle has arrived." The guard announced, maintain the stoic expression that comes with the professionalism of the Royal Guard.

"Ah my student, send her in, there is much to discuss." Princess Celestia ordered. The Guard gave a polite bow and left, only to return moments later with the subject in question, Twilight, in tow.
"Princess is everything alright? Does this have to with that odd magical surge I felt a few days ago?" Twilight asked frantically.

"Yes, Twilight, it does, now before you ask, no Equestria is not in danger ...well not anymore any way." she mumbled that last bit "You see a few days ago a cult tried to summon a beast. A beast I long thought to be a myth, from the lands of fantasies and agents. But as always, something went wrong. The entity they tried to summon was the Wrath of Agony.”

"Wait, wait, wait!" Twilight interrupted "Sorry, but they tried to summon The Wrath of Agony? They tried to summon an unstoppable demon and they failed?"

Celestia sighed "In a way they failed, yes, but they also succeeded, in some way. You see, while they failed to summon the Wrath, they ended up summoning Agony himself.”

"I'm sorry, Princess, but how is that any better, Agony is said to be the only one to ever tame the beast known as wrath. If anything this is worse." she blurted out as she fell into panic.

"Normally I’d agree with you Twilight, but you see, the tale says that Agony tamed these beasts, but that the beasts themselves were summoned by others for their evil agenda. But the only bit of truth to these stories are the ones about the Wrath." Celestia realised this was going no-were fast so she decided to show her proof.

"Would you like to meet him Twilight? The one we called the Great Agony." she had a sly smirk on her face knowing Twilight wouldn't be able to resets meeting a legend. Twilight thought for a minute, weighing up the situation. Ultimately, curiosity killed the cat.

"Yes, I think I would like to meet him." she said hesitantly.

"Very well." Celestia got up from her thrown and walked over to a door off to the side. A few nerve wrecking moment passed before she returned with something very unexpected. It was a small Pegasus colt, no older than the age of eight she would guess. The colt had black fur, while its mane and tail were a dark grey accompanied by a read streak. There was also red fur around its eyes, the irises themselves where shining a bright sapphire blue. Then she noticed something unsettling, there was a V shape chunk missing from its right ear and a small scar on his muzzle. The Pegasus’ cutie mark was a white circle sounded by another circle that was split in to 7 different coloured sections separated by black lines. Now she felt bad about judging him before she saw him.

Twilight was quickly pulled out of thought by the sound of Celestia’s voice "Come now little one, don't shy away, my student is quiet nice." the colt was very hesitant, more so than Twilight was a moment ago when asked to meet him. He slowly walked toward Twilight and stopped about three feet away.

"Um... hello mi-miss Sparkle... um I’m Jason Brolly but my friends call me Agony." he said with small smile that almost resembled that of her friend Fluttershy.

Feeling much more confident knowing that he was a foal ‘After all, how could a child be a threat?’ She thought...

"My, what a well mannered young colt you are, but don't worry with being so formal with me, please just call me Twilight." she smiled down at him, he just nodes in return.

Celestia spoke up to break the silence, after the inital conversation from seeing the child, everything had died down. "Now, little one, we have much to discuss, can you bring you friend greed here again?”

Agony turned around to look at the Princess before replying "Umm ok, but I don't know if he'll come. One second. Oh and he’s more like family, they all are." Closing his eyes, there was an awkward pause for Celestia and Twilight. Twilight was confused while Celestia waited patiently and then he spoke up again. "Greed! I can’t ask that, she’s a Princess... Oh... I said that out loud didn't I.... Umm Greed wants to know ‘what’s in it for him?’"

Celestia looked at him shocked as his eyes drifted away from hers as he was finding the floor rather interesting now. Then something unexpected happened, she let out a giggling fit. "Hahaha... oh... oh my, I never knew someone to ask that, he certainly lives up this name now, hehe." She took a few moments to compose herself. "Ok I’m calm now, calm enough to answer your question. I don't know how to send you home, so how about property. a house to call home."

Suddenly there was a bright yellow flash were agony was standing. In his place was a gold furred unicorn stallion, with a swept back mane of black with the same red streak. But that's not where the similarities end, he has the same scar on his muzzle and is missing the same chunk out of his right ear as well as the same cutie mark, but the yellow section was now swirling into the white inner circle. "Well madam, why didn't you say so in the first place?" Then he remembered that Twilight was in the room. "Damnit! Now I have to explain what just happened"

Twilight was shocked, confused and starting to get angry because she has more questions than answers now and clearly nobody is telling her the full story.

Comments

[Isseus]

This is a great contender for this weeks Worst Fic... and it's only Monday.

Hoo boy... Awful grammar, spelling mistakes, wrong tags (lacks Human for one).

"needs an editor/proofreader" No, you need to learn how to write. Try a proofreading software. Read a dictionary. Just don't expect someone to come and clean your mess up for you, you lazy bum. That's not what editors or proofreaders are for. They exist to polish your writing, and you can't polish a...

[outerjay]

7179663 wana take a guess on why its badly done oh if you really want to see a bad one check my first one

[GoldLight64]

Welp, and I thought I was terrible. Isseus already pointed out the flaws, I can't really add anything more.

[Frost492]

I like it it's only your second but I'm already hooked can't wait for update you get a like and a follow and fav

[outerjay]

7187407 thank you