When a nameless pony awakes in a blood splattered stable remembering nothing, her story takes a long and twisting road as she finds out who she was before and who she wants to be.
The only thing that stood out as a legitimate criticism was that the explanation of the pip-bucks functions in that way was entirely unnecessary. It should probably have been integrated into the narrative more. Like when Dawn cuts her hoof she should have found out about the medical function, or something like that. Otherwise, a speedy but still good beginning.
Edit: And you kinda glossed over the whole `Dead` thing. That could be something normal in this world but we don't know that.
The only thing that stood out as a legitimate criticism was that the explanation of the pip-bucks functions in that way was entirely unnecessary. It should probably have been integrated into the narrative more. Like when Dawn cuts her hoof she should have found out about the medical function, or something like that.
Otherwise, a speedy but still good beginning.
Edit: And you kinda glossed over the whole `Dead` thing. That could be something normal in this world but we don't know that.