It's Your Funeral

by Super Trampoline

Epilogue

"This is 911. Please state your emergency."

"Ughhh, I had a really, really bad headache, but I--I think I took too many pain pills. I don't feel too good."

"Oh dear, you poor thing. Don't worry. I'll get some brave humans over there right away. Just stay calm."

"Humans? Wait, how do you know where I live?"

"Don't you recognize my voice?"

"Uhhhhh. Oh my gosh, Fluttershy?" But... it's been years. Am I hallucinating again? Am I dead?"

"Oh no, You're very much alive, and people are on their way. But I'm so glad to talk to you again!"

"We...we've talked before?"

"Well, we haven't but you and Pinkie did, a long time ago."

"This is the drugs isn't it?"

"Yes. Twilight says it's something about lowering the gateways to the perception of reality. I just think it's nice to speak with an old friend."

"Yeah, yeah. I wish I could have these encounters under better circumstances."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Andrea. You... you didn't do this on purpose, did you?"

"Huh? What--Oh! Oh, God no! I love my life. I just had a really bad headache, and I wasn't completely in it, and now I feel even less into it, so I thought I'd call 911, but then you picked up, and now I'm talking to an imaginary pony again."

"We're not imaginary, Miss Libman. Which. Uh. I need to talk to you about, actually."

"I'm really losing it, aren't I? Is this how I die? Talking to Fluttershy?"

"No! Miss Andrea Eva Libman, you are NOT dying on my watch. Paramedics will be there in a few minutes. You're going to be all right. If you want you can induce vomiting, but since you assured me this isn't a suicide--how many pills did you take?"

"Uh, like five?"

"Oh good, you'll be okay."

"I, uh, I'm glad to hear that. I think I hear sirens too."

"Yay! Those paramedics sure are brave, weaving through traffic with their horseless carriages. But um..."

"Yes?"

"Uh, before you go, I do have a request, uh, from the girls."

"What is it, Fluttershy?"

"You know how Pinkie said that everypony's--er, every human's art, stories, songs and whatever--they keep us alive in your hearts?"

"Yes! The fire of friendship burns in our hearts!"

"Um, could you maybe tell the Bronies to... uh... Eep!"

"What is it?"

"Write less porn."

Author's Note:

This is not my best work at all (my Fluttershy voicing is atrocious), but I needed an epilogue to push the word count past 1000.

Comments

[ThatFriendlyDerp]

Liked it. Dat cover art though... X3

[FlutterPone]

I loved this! The last line made me giggle so much

[Super Trampoline]

7153178 I'm glad you appreciated it!

[Admiral Biscuit]

Trip balls = see ponies?

Hmmm....

[Super Trampoline]

7161607 glad you appreciated it.

[CoffeeMinion]

There's something oddly compelling about this story, both in its original and current forms.

I might complain a bit about the epilogue being more talking-heads-y than the first chapter, though the last line just about makes up for it.

[Super Trampoline]

7171268 epilogue was entirely for the point of getting it to the Fimfiction word limit, and as long as I was doing that I figured I might as well go for a dumb punchline