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Vargras

Joined November 2011
764 followers

Stories (9)

  • Hiatus
    Redeemed, Luna finds she must spend a year in order to recover. But how will she pass the time?

    36,710 words · 23,617 views · 1,132 likes · 28 dislikes
  • Stuck In The Middle With You
    Luna opens a summer camp, but the campers who sign up certainly aren't who she expects.
    36,913 words · 8,249 views · 580 likes · 17 dislikes
  • Unintended
    Applejack and Twilight discover that there's more to each other than what meets the eye.
    79,130 words · 7,144 views · 623 likes · 21 dislikes
  • What Must Be Done
    Curiosity leads to a recruit asking and learning about the tragic history of the Night Guard.
    5,667 words · 5,048 views · 368 likes · 11 dislikes
  • Forbidden Fruit
    42,052 words · 11,563 views · 474 likes · 21 dislikes
  • Triage
    10,986 words · 4,024 views · 259 likes · 17 dislikes
  • A Midnight Stroll
    10,550 words · 3,534 views · 189 likes · 13 dislikes
  • No Light
    31,622 words · 2,501 views · 131 likes · 10 dislikes
  • Little White Lie
    2,011 words · 1,555 views · 127 likes · 22 dislikes

Blog Posts (289)

Source

With Granny Smith's health in a slow decline, and Sweet Apple Acre sales also suffering, Applejack becomes despondent. Rumors of a mystical tree of life, bearing magic fruit, rekindle a flame within her, and she tackles the issue the only way she knows how - head-on.

Sequel to 'Forbidden Fruit': 'Unintended' (Shipping/Slice of Life)

Fic is rated Teen for brief alcohol use, mild language, and discussions of death.

Featured on Equestria Daily! Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, and commented!

First Published
25th Nov 2011
Last Modified
23rd Dec 2011

Comments ( 258 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 143w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

For all future readers, reviewers, and comments: This fic is rated Teen SOLELY because of (very brief) alcohol use and discussions of death. I likely could have passed this as rated for Everyone, but I figured it would be best to play it safe.

Also, Big Mac is best big brother. :eeyup:

#2 · Chapter 2 · 142w, 6d ago · · ·

I swear, 'Whispers on the Wind' is the most dialogue-heavy chapter I have ever written. Should get easier to write from here, though, since they'll actually be DOING things.

#3 · Chapter 2 · 142w, 6d ago · · ·

interesting turn of events... but its gonna get harder before it gets easier... i eagerly await for more...

#4 · Chapter 2 · 142w, 6d ago · · ·

Great update to such an emotional storyline. I do wonder who else will assist Applejack and Twilight on this quest of theirs ? :ajsmug:

It was great to see BIg Mac trying to talk some reasoning into AJ as she all kinds of stubborn for a pony. :eeyup:

Please do keep up the good work upon such a great tale like this one. :twilightsmile:

#5 · Chapter 2 · 142w, 6d ago · · ·

>>42035

Unfortunately, I have it planned out to where it will be just Applejack and Twilight. They're extremely close friends, however, moreso than some of the others in the Mane 6. It only made sense to pair them up.

#6 · Chapter 3 · 142w, 5d ago · · ·

Inspiration comes from the oddest of places. One of the scenes in 'Over the River' was from an idea that popped up in my head earlier this morning. It's been raining all day, and as I was driving to class, it simply... popped up. I'll let you all figure out which one it is. Very pleased with how this one turned out.

#7 · Chapter 3 · 142w, 5d ago · · ·

Wow this chapter just blew me out of the water... i seriously didn't expect that... But i loved it!

Keep it up!:twilightsmile:

#8 · Chapter 3 · 142w, 5d ago · · ·

>>43618

"blew me out of the water" - No pun intended? :twilightsheepish:

#9 · Chapter 3 · 142w, 5d ago · · ·

And apologies for AJ's very brief potty-mouth, but I simply had to include that given the situation. I think she can be forgiven for that.

#10 · Chapter 3 · 142w, 4d ago · · ·

Nice update and a great explaination on where are the other Mane 4 ponies doing in this storyline. Although, I can see Pinkie Pie causing problems at the end, when they get back to Ponyville. Given her unpredictable behavior. :pinkiehappy:

Still it was a nice update and a great balance with Twilight and Applejack teaming up in this storyline, with Applejack's strength and determination and Twilight's brains and magic, those apples are as good as found. :ajsmug:

Please do keep up the good work upon such a great tale like this one. :twilightsmile:

#11 · Chapter 2 · 142w, 4d ago · · ·

Very nice chapter. The character interactions were spot-on, and the plot moved along nicely. Great ending line, to boot. :ajsmug:

Always a fan of AJ. She never gets enough attention.

#12 · Chapter 3 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

Oh no, reading the other comments, I realised it is my time to come with (what is ment to be constructive) critizism.

The main story is ok, even really good at times, but the introduction of their quest for the healing fruit was a rather rushed turn of events. And it is never good when one of the main "pillars" of a story is shaking.

The characters are sometimes good, sometimes not as good.

A lot of the conversations seem odd, and you never manage to complete Applejack's character, she seems hollow.

But critics aside, some parts are really good, and you have one of the better Big Mac characters I have read, he is really well written in some places.

As I said, the core of the story seems ok, might even be great if you work on it.

And lastly I would say that even though I have (half) slaugthered your fic, there is still so much you can do! You wrote Hiatus, one of the best fics on this site, and i know you can make characterisations better than some authors when you truly "find" the character.

#13 · Chapter 3 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

>>44924

Forgot to say that the cellar part, in the start of chapter two ( the best chapter so far ) is probably one of the best in this fic.

#14 · Chapter 3 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

>>44924

Haha, don't worry about it. I appreciate the criticism and comments. It's what helps me improve things!

I have noticed that I seem to do better with characters that don't have as much behind them (like Luna, or Big Macintosh in this case). Might go back and revise the second chapter to drag things out a bit more. I'll do my best to improve things, though.

#15 · Chapter 3 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

>>44924

Think I may have found my issue. I was trying to stick too closely to Applejack's character from the show and I wasn't really attempting to expand on it at all. Pretty sure I've fixed that.

#16 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 2d ago · · ·

Most of the flaws that was there earlier is gone now!

Character interaction is good, you finally got a firm grip on Applejack.

The adventure element is strong here, but the part about the magical "insta-kill" fruit bothers me, prehapse "Twilight" would like to share more with us in the future.

But overall, congratulations in making a great chapter out of my leat favourite pf the Mane 6 .

#17 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 2d ago · · ·

>>45999

I have something planned for the 'magical insta-kill fruit', don't worry about that.

And before anyone else asks, no - there will not be zombie ponies. Just wait and see where things are headed. :ajsmug:

#18 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 2d ago · · ·

man... no zombie's... oh well i'll keep reading anyway :twilightsheepish:

#19 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 1d ago · · ·

Added an 'excerpt' from 'Supernaturals' to the 'Whispers on the Wind' chapter. The tree in the picture is heavily based upon the Tree of Gondor design, and I had to make up the language myself (it's just stylized English so that it resembles the text in the Sisterhooves Social poster).

Sorry, couldn't help it. I love me some Lord of the Rings.

#20 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 1d ago · · ·

the only thing i have a problem with in this story is the fact that some of their actions aren't adequately explained, (applejack being this cross with twilight over a casual remark doesn't make a lot of sense unless you provide insight to the reader as to the why)

anyhow, keep up the great writing :twilightsmile:

#21 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 1d ago · · ·

>>47363

I'll be providing insight into that in a future chapter. There's a specific reason as to why Applejack doesn't like talking about her parents, and we'll get to that in due time.

#22 · Chapter 5 · 142w, 19h ago · · ·

great read, keep it up :twilightsmile:

#23 · Chapter 5 · 142w, 19h ago · · ·

>>48517

Thanks! One of these days, 'Forbidden Fruit' will be featured, then hopefully it'll start racking up some more views (Hiatus hasn't been updated in a while and still pulls in roughly six-times the number of views per day that Forbidden Fruit does).

One of these days.

#24 · Chapter 5 · 142w, 16h ago · · ·

Made a quick edit to "Dirge in the Dark" based upon feedback.

#25 · Chapter 5 · 142w, 11h ago · · ·

Well, I'll have a new chapter up tomorrow afternoon. This has a scene I've pictured in my head for a very long time, and once I began writing, it all sorta fell into place.

Hope you all enjoy it as much as I did while writing it.

#26 · Chapter 6 · 142w, 29m ago · · ·

Wow, i'm very impressed... i really like where this is going :D keep it up!

#27 · Chapter 6 · 142w, 5m ago · 1 · ·

>>49497

Friendshipping is best shipping! :twilightsmile:

I really enjoyed writing this chapter out. Once I got things going, it all began to come together - sorta like a really awesome game of Tetris, where you get a bunch of the line blocks.

#28 · Chapter 6 · 141w, 6d ago · · ·

Shame not a lot of people just do friendshipping.

The ending was very sweet.

First Applejack feels akward with going into the same sleeping back with twilight but ends up asking to hug her all night :D

#29 · Chapter 6 · 141w, 6d ago · · ·

>>49578

Yep! This is a scene I've had in my head for a very long time, and I'm glad it worked out as well as it did.

#30 · Chapter 6 · 141w, 6d ago · · ·

>>Vargras I just couldn't help but smile while I read it. Can't help but smile if I think about it either :twilightsheepish:

#31 · Chapter 6 · 141w, 6d ago · · ·

>>49588

Mission accomplished.

Cave Johnson, we're done here.

#32 · Chapter 6 · 141w, 6d ago · · ·

Read this chapter alone for the fourth time. Still like the end of it a lot :twilightsheepish: When will you update again?

#33 · Chapter 6 · 141w, 6d ago · · ·

>>49885

Most likely on Monday.

#34 · Chapter 6 · 141w, 6d ago · · ·

There's alot of potential for non-friend-shippin' and you arent taking the easy road and doin' that , kudos.

#35 · Chapter 6 · 141w, 6d ago · · ·

>>50067

Appreciate it.

#36 · Chapter 6 · 141w, 6d ago · · ·

>>50089

Don't mention it, this story is perfect and should be appreciated more.

#37 · Chapter 6 · 141w, 6d ago · · ·

so far.. i like the story a great deal, however there are some things that just kill my immersion... :pinkiesad2:

like them talking about possibly having to hunt: i know it's probably for dramatic effect but it is >ALWAYS< easier to find herbivore food than it is finding (and successfully hunting) animals for meat

oh well it's still a great story, keep it up :twilightsmile:

#38 · Chapter 6 · 141w, 6d ago · · ·

>>50198

I'm aware of that. It's still a last-resort thing, and they might not even have to do it. They've still got leftover supplies.

Essentially, I got to discussing it with a friend in an IRC channel, and we both knew it was something rarely ever mentioned within fics (outside of maybe gorefics). I wanted to write out how the two of them would react over such a controversial topic (and indeed, neither of them are looking forward to the idea of such a thing). It was mostly just experimental and spur-of-the-moment.

Apologies if it ruined the story for you in the slightest.

#39 · Chapter 6 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

I got a bit worried that it would be Apple-Twi, until I read the comments about friendshipping.  Thank Celestia!  This is gold here!

#40 · Chapter 6 · 141w, 5d ago · · ·

>>51725

Nope! I've never really been one for shipping, but I've always greatly enjoyed friendshipping, and it's definitely something that few people do.

They're close friends in this story, nothing more.

#41 · Chapter 7 · 141w, 4d ago · · ·

Well done. I'm wondering what this new entity brings to the table. :pinkiegasp: I also like how the initial trial was setup -- obviously for earth ponies, but also allowing others (i.e. Twilight) to assist. The action itself was well-paced, and the dialog remains spot-on. Keep it up! :ajsmug:

#42 · Chapter 7 · 141w, 4d ago · · ·

Great work! can't wait to see who the pony in the shadows turns out to be...

#43 · Chapter 7 · 141w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

>>53532

Who said it was a pony? :trollestia:

#44 · Chapter 7 · 141w, 4d ago · · ·

worthy..... of what i wonder... :unsuresweetie:

#45 · Chapter 7 · 141w, 4d ago · · ·

>>54026

Dun dun dunnnnn.

#46 · Chapter 8 · 141w, 4d ago · · ·

New chapter is up. I DRAW THE BEST FEATHERS EVER.

#47 · Chapter 8 · 141w, 4d ago · · ·

I couldn't see the feathers... but i imagine there pretty good...

I love how you give Apple jack moral boost by having her figure out the last test... But it thought you could have fleshed a few more feelings from Twilight's "looked like near-death-experience".

I'm really liking this story, please keep it up!

#48 · Chapter 8 · 141w, 4d ago · · ·

>>54214

I did have that section a bit more fleshed-out at first, but the more I read it, the more it just seemed to ruin the flow. I ended up removing it and leaving it in its present state as a result.

#49 · Chapter 8 · 141w, 4d ago · · ·

right then.

you brought this on yourself!

i want, neigh i DEMAND a picture from you in the next chapter! the subject ? twilight with wings! :twilightblush:

liking the latest two chapters a lot well thought out and i can envision most anything that happens in them which wasn't the case with the previous ones, keep it up :twilightsmile:

#50 · Chapter 8 · 141w, 3d ago · · ·

>>54249

"i want, neigh i DEMAND a picture from you in the next chapter! the subject ? twilight with wings!"

fuuuuuuuu

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