Purple And Green

After a fight with her brother, Turquoise Blitz, turns personal, Crystal Clarity visits her aunt Twilight. When she tells Claire of a time a fight almost took Spike away from her as a brother, Claire realizes that she needs to make amends with T.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 6 )

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ARTL

ARTL #1 · Mar 26th, 2016 · · ·

Hrmm. Neither good nor bad, really. It's a sweet story. Kinda short.

Eyes Over Heaven

Eyes Over Heaven #2 · Mar 26th, 2016 · · ·

Thanks, doc.

GameQubb

GameQubb #3 · Mar 26th, 2016 · · ·

Amazing first story! I owe you a fav, like, and follow. I just hope to see more amazing work like this soon.

dracone

dracone #4 · Mar 27th, 2016 · 2 · ·

This is a decent first story, but the high volume of typos made it difficult for me to remain invested in the story. Usually more than one typo in the firs full paragraph is an indicator that there will be a lot of typos. For example it's not "Crystal Boutique" it's Carousel Boutique, also you have "quite" where 'quiet' should be (that one seems to be a recurring typo for several authors). I spotted a few more, but those two were the first I noticed. Also, you seem to have goofed on some character names, I think you meant to say Illusion where you said "Elusive", a good thing to keep in mind is that spellcheck won't always catch your mistakes (and sometimes make some mistakes of its it own.

I would advise you practice some self-editing and look into getting an editor. Also do some research on the differences between constructive criticism and mean spirited comments so you can better tell which comments to be genuinely annoyed or angered over, some readers genuinely want to help while others seem delighted in tearing a story up with no real intent beyond mentally and emotionally hurting someone.

nicklaich