Luna sat on the balcony outside her bedroom, looking up at her handiwork. She loved nothing more than to come out here in the quiet hours between when she raised the moon and filled the night with her beloved constellations and when she had to return to the throne room to rule over the night court. It gave her an opportunity to reflect upon her life, all the weighty issues she was responsible for as Princess of Equestria, and the great mysteries of the universe.
Or, as on nights like tonight, on how incredibly bored she was. It wasn’t that she didn’t have anything to do. There was a stack of reports and her subjects' petitions that was slowly taking over every square inch of the surface of her desk. She just couldn’t bring herself to engage with any of it. She’d been back from the moon for several years, but she still felt like an outsider looking in on her sister’s perfect little kingdom. Celestia had been so perfectly understanding, and so had the other ponies she dealt with every day. Or at least they faked it well enough. It still didn’t feel like they were equals. Her own public audiences attracted maybe a tenth as many ponies as those of her sister, and if anything seemed to draw an even greater share of noble ponies who clearly only cared about her as a means to improve their favor in Celestia’s court. The “real” court, in their eyes.
Naturally she had played along, not revealing her true feelings to any pony. She knew that any one of them wouldn immediately run to her sister at the slightest hint of dissatisfaction; “Hey, remember how you thought your sister felt before she turned evil and tried to kill you? Well she might be feeling that way again now.” No, that wouldn’t do at all. Better to pretend that she was content with the situation and try to resolve it privately with Celestia later on. Still, it wore on her. The doublespeak that ponies in her court transparently flattered her with. The thoughtless whining of ponies who expected her to magically resolve their personal problems. None of it was worth her time.
Luna’s ears perked up as she became aware of some pony coming towards her bedroom. Her room, like Celestia’s, was thoroughly insulated from everything else in the palace by an entire wing of guest bedrooms that were barely ever used. Not that Luna was complaining, since it allowed her a great deal of advance warning whenever any pony tried to corner her in her own bed chambers. She turned her focus towards the approaching pony. Her ears, capable of listening in on the whispers between the stars billions of miles from Equestria, were more than up to the task of picking out the voice of the approaching pony, and even the words he thought he was mumbling only to himself.
It was one of her bureaucrats, Pencil Pusher, who she had spoken to in the last few days. And based on the speech he was rehearsing under his breath as he approached he wanted to speak to her about the current level of agricultural subsidies and why the nobles from rural provinces felt they should be increased.
She suddenly felt the irresistible urge to go for a midnight flight over Canterlot. She chose to indulge it.
Sending a quick telepathic message to the pair of guards by her bedroom door that she would be unavailable until future notice, she spread her wings and leapt into the night sky. Soon, the Princess of the Night was soaring over the city, invisible to her subjects below against the jet black sky.
Luna couldn’t help but admire the view. The simple pleasures of rulership were always the greatest, and she never tired of soaring above the city her sister had constructed for them in her absence. Even late into the night, there were ponies walking the streets. Restaurants were open and businesses thrived on the patronage of ponies who were out and about, enjoying her night. Her pleasure quickly turned toxic. Even this had been handled more effectively under her sister’s rule. Before her exile, ponies barely gave her night a second thought. Now there were plays, movies, restaurants, art galleries, all sorts of entertainment open to ponies who wanted to do more than just sleep through the magnificent display she devoted herself to providing for them every single night. None of which, she noted with a touch of resentment, she’d had anything to do with.
Banking around in a wide circle, she pointed herself back towards the palace. There was a great deal of work to be done, and only a little time before her court opened and the nobles began demanding answers on the proposals that she hadn’t yet bothered to read.
Luna had almost reached her balcony again when she was roused from her reflections by a loud cheer from somewhere below her. Glancing downward, she saw that one of the buildings on the palace grounds that was still lit up and noisy with the sounds of combat. Weighing her responsibilities to her court against her desire for some diversion from that dreadful tedium, she quickly decided that the commotion below was well worth investigating.
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“And the winner, by TKO, is Ironside! Let’s hear it for our victor, everypony!”
Cheers went up throughout the gymnasium. While his opponent had fought well, the winner of the match had been clear by the end of the third round. The two combatants gave one another a respectful bro hoof and stepped out of the ring to meet with their supporters and discuss the results of the match with their respective trainers.
Or rather that’s what would have happened had the Princess of the Night not chosen that moment to burst through the roof.
Debris rained down on the ring as the Princess descended into the center of the ring. She glanced around at her shocked subjects with a small smile; she had always known how to make a dramatic entrance. “GREETINGS, PONIES OF THE GUARD!” she began, oblivious to the ponies closest to the stage who were now clutching their ears with their hooves. “WE HATH TAKEN TIME OUT FROM THE ROYAL SCHEDULE TO DESCEND AND BLESS THEE WITH OUR PRESENCE! WE WISH TO CONVEY OUR APPRECIATION FOR THY LOYAL DEVOTION TO THE THRONE OF EQUESTRIA!” Luna paused to look around at her audience. If Celestia had been here addressing them, they surely would have burst into cheers by now. But these so-called “elite guard ponies” were practically wallowing on the ground, covering their heads. Luna began to wonder if, perhaps, this visit might have been ill advised. “SO, LIKE I WAS SAYING...” she continued, desperate to regain the initiative “KEEP ON... UM... KEEPING ON, AS THEY SAY, IN THE MODERN VERNACULAR!”
Luna was now sure that she had made a huge mistake. Cursing her idiocy under her breath, she made a note to ask her sister how she improvised in situations like these. Glancing around desperately for something, anything, that would help her to salvage this ill-advised visit, she suddenly spotted her sister’s protegee, Twilight Sparkle, amongst the ponies present. What luck!
“AH, TWILIGHT SPARKLE! ‘TIS GOOD TO BE IN THY PRESENCE ONCE MORE! UM... HOW ART THOU DOING?” She asked.
“Just fine, Princess!” Twilight answered “”Would you mind, um, not using the Royal Canterlot Voice? Just for now?”
“WHAT? OH, CERTAINLY, BUT OF... But of course! It would be no trouble at all.”
A sigh of relief went up throughout the room. It was almost as if they didn’t like the Royal Canterlot voice! Luna chuckled to herself at the ridiculousness of the very idea.
“Princess Luna, thank you so much for coming to see us unexpectedly in the middle of this, your most glorious night” began Twilight again, having had enough experience with the Princess to know when she needed to be thrown a lifeline. “It honors the royal guard that you would visit them here, the gymnasium, in which they spar with one another and train to hone their combat abilities, the better to protect the Throne of Equestria.”
“YES! I mean, yes! The gymnasium wherein our elite guard ponies hone their abilities! That is, of course, the building that we knew we were visiting when we came in through the roof. It is exactly the building which we were entirely meaning to visit, and certainly not one that we chose at random!” Luna felt much more at ease. Surely no pony would be able to see through such a clever lie. She was suddenly struck with a bolt of inspiration; the perfect plan to salvage this situation. “So... now that we are here, we feel the need to test the mettle of our guards! Nothing would invigorate us like a round of hooficuffs! What pony here feels able to challenge their Princess in single combat?”
The more Luna considered the prospect, the more sure she felt that this was the right call. Why not challenge the guards to come up with a champion to face her one-on-one? Perhaps it could even become a tradition. Heaven knows Celestia had set up enough of the damn things, accursed yearly obligations she’d been dragged to and forced to sit through year after year. It was about time she started to establish a few of her own.
Shockingly, no pony seemed eager to volunteer. What had become of the guard in this modern age? Luna remembered a time when it was common for a pony to go up against some sort of mythic beast for even the slightest chance to earn the title of Royal Guardpony. Obviously the last millenium had made them all soft. Still, Luna wasn’t about to give up her new tradition so easily. She would just pick one of the ponies in the room and challenge them directly. Of course, there was only one pony in the room whom she actually knew.
“TWILIGHT SPARKLE, WE CHALLENGE YOU TO A MAGICAL SPARRING MATCH! YOU WILL FACE US IN GLORIOUS COMBAT!” Luna promised herself she wouldn’t crush her too badly. She was sure she could get her sister to forgive her later on for any semi-permanent damage the match might cause. She also resolved not to do anything the young unicorn couldn’t recover from within a year or two. After all, she wasn’t a monster. Not anymore, anyway.
Although the gym had been packed to capacity a moment ago, Twilight suddenly found herself several feet away from any other pony in the room. Refusing a direct challenge from a princess was out of the question. Seeing no other choice, the unfortunate unicorn trotted up to the ring, and the Princess within it.
“JUDGE!” demanded the Princess as she turned to address Fair Fight, the gymnasium’s referee. “Tell us, what are the limits of combat in this arena? May we assume that the Marequis of Queensbury rules are still the order of the day?”
“Well, Princess, this is an elite military facility with the goal of preparing soldiers for the most brutal combat conditions, so we don’t really have that many formal rules. Pretty much anything goes, fighting wise. The match ends either when one of the competitors is unable to continue fighting or the referee decides that the danger to the participants is too great to continue.”
“Very well, we can... adapt. We are nothing if not adaptable! Twilight prepare yourself for no-holds-barred magical combat!” proclaimed the Princess.
Luna watched Twilight step up to the ring, but before she could cross into it two dull orange hooves yanked her away and dragged her over to a corner of the gymnasium where a poster of the legendary boxing champion Rocky Mareciano was hung beside a speed bag. The two seemed to be in the middle of an animated discussion. This wouldn’t do. She’d need another distraction soon or she’d be faced with another awkward silence. Perhaps if she set something on fire...
Even with her mind occupied trying to pick out the most flammable object in the room, Luna couldn’t help overhearing a few snippets of the whispered discussion happening on the other side of the room.
“...completely irresponsible....”
“... a freaking goddess...”
“... outclasses you by several orders of magnitude...”
“...dumbest idea I’ve ever heard...”
Ah ha! This must one of those “pep talks” Luna had read so much about! This other stallion must be Twilight’s coach or instructor. She made a mental note to compliment him for the training Twilight had received after Luna had ruthlessly crushed her. Suddenly the unicorn stallion Twilight had been speaking to called out from across the room.
“Princess, while I’m sure any of us would be honored to face you, Our code is quite clear. Doing harm to a princess or any other pony under our protection would be an unthinkable breach of duty. So while I know Twilight would just love to accept your challenge...” Reinolds began to subtly push Twilight towards the door.
“Fear not!” called out Luna from inside the ring “I hereby decree that any violence or crime committed against me by Twilight Sparkle in the course of this challenge is preemptively forgiven and pardoned! Is there any other objection you wish to raise?”
“...No princess, none that I can think of” said Reinolds.
“Wonderful! Then let us begin without further delay. Come now, Twilight, we are most eager to ‘throw it down’ with you” said Luna.
Sensing that she was out of options, Twilight grudgingly approached the arena and stepped inside. She took the Training Amulet offered to her by Fair Fight and placed it around her neck. The judge offered another identical amulet to Luna, but she waved it off. What a ridiculous notion! The idea that a mortal unicorn would be able to seriously hurt her? It was laughable. “I am glad for thy sake that thou shall be protected, for we do not intend to hold back! Nor would we expect you to do so” said Luna.
“Princess, I was just thinking. You know what’s way more exciting than magical combat? Chess! In fact, I think I have my emergency chess set in my saddlebag so if you wanted-”
DING DING
Twilight’s last ditch attempt to escape was cut off as the bell rang to signify that the match had officially started.
Luna smiled and lowered herself into a wider fighting stance. “Come now, my little pony. Let’s begin.”
Twilight's going to obliterate her. Isn't she.
EAKIN'S GUIDE TO WRITING LUNA:
-Take personality from Luna Eclipsed.
-Add 2 parts self-entitlement with a dash of sociopathy.
-Mix inside author with a bottle of cheap wine.
-Type wildly until passing out
-Recover from hangover
-Edit result for clarity (optional) and serve cold
OK, that may not be EXACTLY how it happened, but I know Luna probably doesn't come across as especially lovable here. Stay tuned for some exciting action next chapter, when Luna takes Twilight up on her offer to play chess and delays my having to write an action scene for another 5000 words!
Nah, don't worry. It. Is. On!
The next chapter is probably a few days out, and I may take another pass at this one as I'm sure I made some mistakes with all the thee/thy/thou stuff in Luna's dialogue.
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Thanks, should be fixed now
EDIT:
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Holy crap dude, are some kind of posting ninja? How did you read all that and still beat me to the comments?
Guess you'll have to wait for the next chapter to find out...
EDIT THE SECOND:
Holy crap I'm in the featured box. I'm blown away, thanks for all your support guys
nyeeeeh i want moar this is too epic to wait for, but i dont want spoilers, they just kill the point of reading more
when is next chapter? well?
I've been pondering a fan fiction like this for over a month, so if anypony tells me I'm copying this author, Fluttershy hates them.
Totally going to read this at some point. :D
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Family is arriving literally any minute, I'm posting this now because I won't be on the site or have a chance to start the next chapter until at least Sunday, plus I need to edit Writing is Hard for submission to EQD (Me + Quotation Marks + Punctuation = I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT WENT WRONG!. so I would guess late next week
Here's hoping twilight wins. I always cheer for the underdog, even though luna's my favorite
754718 hmm...okay good enough for me as long as its 1500+
jkjk. seriously, it doesn't matter. youre just so awesome
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Copy away, there's plenty of room for different takes and approaches to the same story for me to exhaust with a single fic.
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>.> (not saying any thing!)...>.<
Luna, y u so adorably awkward?!
754738 I'm just a gentle giant / hypercompetetive stallion with the heart of a filly. Don't mind me.
I am loving this. You sir have just earned a watch!
There is only one .gif appropriate for this situation.
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4878-d99.gif
Brawler Luna is best Pony
I'll keep an eye on this on how it develops, even though both Combatants are clearly not in the same leaque.
A bit of Slice of Life never hurt or maybe in this case it will hurt Twilight dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png
any Chance you have other Fights planned?
I would pay all my Bits to have a Luna vs Celestia Match although Equestria might not be in one piece after that
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Luna's disregarding The Code and Equestria runs on narratavium (Pratchectt Refeferences are Go!). Twilight Sparkle is a Hero and an Underdog against an opponent who has shown signs of Contempt (Luna waving off the safety talisman). The only way Luna could have asked more to get her tail kicked in is to say something like "I am Invincible."
Very entertaining story so far!
Looking forward to Luna's future flank-kicking.
754894 Just because Luna is considered to be a demi-god, does not mean that Twilight cannot match and/or surpass her in magical ability. Celestia did not tell Twilight she was the most powerful Unicorn Celestia has ever seen in thousands of years for nothing, you know.
Just Like in her fight against Nightmare Moon, Twilight is going to show Luna how much combat styles and modern fighting had actually evolved in 1000 years, so is no wonder if Twilight is going to beat the manure out of Luna if we considered that some combat techniques she may possess are either outdated, over disected to the point to counter them may be considered basic training, or demned completely useless in comparation to the new combat tactics, techniques, styles and even modern warfare, yea sure there's going to be some actually some awesomely epic legendary combat tecniques that Luna(And Celestia) may now be the sole or last practitioners and masters alive, in a way they're going to finish up that fight they've got a few years ago when Luna returned from her vanishment as Nighmare Moon.
Ladies and gentlemen, please remember that Twilight doesn't have to win to be impressive. After all, a good showing in a loss can go pretty far. For those who don't understand, there's a couple of films from Sylvester Stallone I'd like to refer you to.
I am, of course, looking forward to either a good long slobberknocker of a match, or Luna looking at a crater and admiring Twilight's ability to not die from having Pluto swing by to say hello to her. (And Twilight mumbling things about dwarf planets versus actual planets in regards to personal combat use.)
I am eternally sad that I never thought of something this singularly awesome.
not looking forward to Twilight getting creamed
its either that, or the next chapter starts in the hospital with Celestia asking her faithful student why Luna is in surgery
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It's true. At this point Narrative Causality has kicked in and there's no hope for Luna. There is, however, one way that she might be able to break herself out of the chain. Twilight may be the Hero and the Underdog, but Luna is playing the Socially Awkward Authority Figure card here. It's possible that she'll beat Twilight, because any time a ruler/goddess in her position stumbles onto a situation like this and then challenges their only friend to a fight in order to make everyone else like them, they inevitably crush said friend mercilessly and then wonder why everyone else hates them for it.
Luna is a thousand years out of date, and going up against a trained, Super-powered Twilight... oh... she's gona get her flank handed too her, and it will be glorious.
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>even though both Combatants are clearly not in the same leaque.
I'm not sure how good Twi's offensive magic has gotten in this story, but we know that even before training, her defensive magic was good enough to stop Discord.
At the very least, Twi on full defensive mode should be able to last long enough to get a draw, and that's assuming Luna doesn't do anything silly...
my lack of actual feedback is greatly disturbing but this story is pure win.
Damn....this is going to be GGGOOOODDDDDD!!!!! Fuck yeah I'm going to read and review each chapter, this is going to be badass...I call for a tie if anything. Can't wait for the next chapter.
Does Twilight have any idea how hard she would be hitting if her opponent wasn't wearing a training amulet?
Is she gonna throw the match? Either that or a crater the size of Canterlot is the only way I see Luna coming out on top here.
Great story! Can't wait to see who wins this one in Chapter 4.
Mooooooaaarrtarrrr FIREEEE armedforces-int.com/upload/image_files/SKOM.jpg GIVE ME MOAARRR
ow this is gonna be awesome! totally epic! cant wait for the next one!
Personally I think that Luna's night court would be sparse, but the ponies in attendance would be ponies who actually give a crap.
Considering the last time she had any meaningful conversation with ponies, it was the Age of Vikings (approximately Year 1010., Earth time. According to Wikipedia, Thorfinn Karlsefni attempted to start a settlement in what is now known as North America), I'm not surprised Luna feels the Royal Guard has "gone soft".
"I know Luna probably doesn't come across as especially lovable here"
Are you kidding? Your version of Luna is absolutely awesome, I couldn't stop laughing at he inner monologue.
Can't wait to see what happens next Eeeeeeee
Announcer: And for Luna's opening move she... Covers Twilight's eyes.
Luna: WooOOOoooohhh... Scary.
Twilight: Princess, I don't see how this is scary.
Luna: (Royal Canterlot Voice) I command you to be scared or I shall smite you and all that you love!!!
Twilight: Okay! Okay! (Waves hooves in air) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SO VERY SCARED!!!!!
Luna: That's better...
Oh, this can't be good.
Your Luna is adorable. I want to give her a hug. As for the fight, even without the the premise saying how it goes down, this cannot end well. I'm gonna read it right now.
I love this line.
And your Luna is indeed incredibly adorable.
... oh dear. She's going to kick your plot, Luna.
Damnit! The title drop at the end ruined it.
Pencil Pusher
GREAT name great name!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh, Luna...
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Sorry it apparently didn't work out.
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Images broken.
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I assume it's something other than this Code she's disregarding? I don't see anything there that relates to the chapter.
757444
When did that happen?
6646234
The what, when? Was something edited?