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In the Ancient land of Alvinailey is a lone Dragon Ranger by the name of Shobbit O'Gale. In his hunt against all dragons of his world he winds up in Equestria due to the powerful magic of the Dragon Emperor of his world. Now with no quick and easy way back Shobbit must learn to be accepted by the ponies of Equestria as he searches for a way back the only way he knows how. By hunting Dragons!!!
Cover art from Here! At least that's what Google says
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AWESOMENESS OVERLOAD!!!!
6953285 Thanks Dylan
He can break the sound barrier by jumping? AWESOME!
Wow, a Chinese Dragon? AWESOME!!!!
6963104 Lolz You doing Okay Dylan? Or do I need to tone this down a bit?
6963116 Nope, keep the awesomeness up! Congratulations, I don't normal get like this, unless something is truly awesome (like the Hobbit!)
6963253 you talking about the movie?
6963267 Yeah.
dimtec can you continue this i like Shobbit
6971409 I'm almost done with the next chapter
Why can't i give a like more than once?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
That will be interesting.
6973286 What exactly?
6973320
The concept is interesting. Even though there are a few clichés here and there through the story-line, (some weird monologues, and rushed scenes) you may be able to develop a quite peculiar setting, if you explore this side of your character. I mean, he answers to no dragon anymore, he's free to do whatever he wants - unlike the others of his kind.
So far I have only read the first chapter, but I wouldn't give up on this story. I've also read part of your first story, and since then your writting skills have truly improved.
6973339 Thanks I really am trying on improving my work. I also plan on actually writing his actual story and make it a novel but I know it needs some serious work before then
He can freeze time?!?!
6985368 He's killed 14 billion dragons and can access any of their powers
6985376 14 billion? That is a lot of dragons!
I like the art of Daszkin.
6989966
I think that this need meme or something xD
6991743 If you provide the image I'll use the photoshop at my school and make it a meme for ya
Well if your going to include Ember then you by canon-law you have to include Starlight Glimmer and Trixie ...just sayin
7154350 They will be showing up later and this is actually set Mid Season 5
Ooh goodie ...
.
Well now with his sister here Celestia has someone that can keep him in check ...
Although how others will react is still unknown
Don't tell Twilight about the multiverse ...
Ermergerd Rarity Spaz out faint once she sees Terra O’Gale the Goddess of Creation.
or Discord starts hitting on her ...and Shobbit keeps trying to kill him half the time ... Lol yes
And Flutters is mad/sad bc she's trying to steal away her draconequus ..
7154417
So you're liking this as much as Me? I see.... I love that Illua Character by the way
7154686 Lolz
Of Course you would
7154417 Lolz Yeah if Discord hit on Terra Shobbit would let her take care of it.
You said Chinese Dragon? Does this mean the reader is to assume that O'Gale comes from Earth-Earth or another universe entirely and you meant to say 'wingless serpent dragon'?
7559970 Thanks for pointing that out I should probably change that now that you mention it XD
And as you can see my writing is sh*t
I felt compelled to call this character egregiously over-powered, but if he is old enough to have slayed literal billions of anything (just counting to ONE Billion being a feat that would take a regular man roughly 32 years) that would make this man inordinately old, wise, and powerful, which works quite well with the very no-nonsense, job-orientated way you've constructed him.
However, you really do need some work with your verb tenses as well as showing rather than telling, and if you were only to pick one, I would rather heavily suggest the latter.
That said, there's a certain sense of whimsey to your story that I find decidedly intriguing.
7560417 Thanks and I know that I need to work on showing over telling.... I thought I was taking a creative writing senior English class but turns out it's a "Let's write college essays" kind of class.
7154350 That would be interesting to see.
Before I read it, what is the Gore tag for ?
7856629 For a later part in the story where I will be writing out many a brutal death
7953474 Lol didn't you see my Authors note?
7953730
..........no,somehow I missed it......how?
7953879 XD Go back and look friend
:3