• Member Since 2nd Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 8th, 2015

dark ganymede


Just starting to write fics, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.

T

Welcome to the future. A place where immortality is common, magic and technology have intertwined, and where you can be re-engineered to nearly anything. Minds from the past are re-uploaded into mechanical bodies, along with minds from the present. There are limits to this of course, but it's just a matter of time before they are broken. When will you be re-engineered?

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 61 )

hmmmmmm, looks interesting, i'll read this later, but for now you have piqued my interest:moustache:

Hey, if you keep going with this, i'll keep reading.:pinkiehappy: Great story, almost feels like "ghost in a shell".

Not bad, not bad at all. I would say more?
As for that, one favorite for you.

its a interesting concept and i will read it later but you are getting positive feedback so i guess you should continue.

I noticed no real errors in this. Thumbs up for you, this is a good story =3

730666
I was going to do a crossover but there was one, so I just did it in that style. I'll continue it.

..I literally have nothing to say.

But since we're both working on cyberpunk crossovers;

wanna do a co-op?

Nice one Dark pulled off a fast one there!

I'll watch this, one thing... Is there going to be explanation of how we went from "Magical land of Equestria" to "Dystopian (or at least something resembling dystopian) future of Subscape".

I'm just assuming that it's going from Equestria to subscape, it it's AU equestria then that's cool too :pinkiehappy:

some minor istakes but i guess that's just me nit-picking :twilightsheepish:

otherwise it's a good story.

I am intirigued. :trixieshiftright: Proceed. :eeyup:

730990
Yes I would like to.

731063
Ill be sure to explain.

731030
Thanks. Wasn't fast to upload though.:rainbowlaugh:

Top class amateur style, no mistakes added:rainbowdetermined2:

Interesting, has a flavor in some of the darker parts of sci-fi: disponia, cyber-synthetics and some fight scenes, in terms of style, its straight to the point, in my opinion i think there should be more explanation to build some more impact or descriptions of the 'world' your building, didn't find much to pick at, just continue and expand and you'll do fine. Good luck :pinkiehappy:

733392
Right, I'll try I guess.
Next chapter has a lot more background information.

Epic killing spree! Smoothly running...

*salutes* pleasure workin' with ya.

738889
Indeed it has been. After chapter three should I give it a go at EQD?

739020 EQD? Hmm, I'd say give it a go after you've fleshed it out a bit. But from what I've heard they've become the rather selective crowd so be careful.


739023
Alright then, more.writing it is then.

M-M-M-MONSTER KILL!!!!

I'm loving this so far. No real problems with it beyond, as I said before, a mild lack of context with regards to the original show. I'm assuming that the magic amplifier has something to do with Twilight Sparkle and that the random pony (5 moustaches says that it's somepony related to Whooves) has a reason to give this guy a weaponised body and magic amplifier beyond "for teh lulz".

I'll still be watching with interest tho and hope that these points get addressed at some point. The in-story ones are more important though.

741192
They'll be addressed, I just dont want to have super long chapters.

"I don't how good you are at defending yourself"... Maybe "I don't know how good you are at defending yourself"...

Getting better every chapter :twilightsmile:

753289
Fixed it. And thanks.

The “Ball Buster” :rainbowlaugh:
Twas wondering, could you kill off one of my OC ponies in this? His name is Inferno (Of course I don't want to mess up your story, just wondering.)
(Wow, this sounds kinda cheap of me...)

803930
Why not. I'll find a way.

804304
Cool, thanks alot :twilightsmile:
If you need any details, I have a photo. (Please ignore the filly though :twilightsheepish:)
ponysquare.com/file/pic/photo/2012/06/82fd9c40a73f0996199e240f806e1420_500.png?t=4fe79c0c1d2c4
Of course you can do what you want, in any way, you are the writer. :twilightsmile:

804401 It would be wrong if I didn't ask, but is there anything I can do to pay you back if you do add my OC?

804771 Well, my friend can draw. (About 100% better than me). He will do it with no problem. I can give any of his drawings to you if you need proof. (I doubt)

804824
If I could see a drawing that would be great.

804862 Here is his (Facebook) with drawings. Mostly all human, but I can vouch for his pony abilities. (He be closet brony)

804879
Link doesn't work. Found you post an image? Sorry I'm being so difficult.

805040
Wow. That's really good.
I'll think of something to commision by tomorrow, and don't worry, you're going to have a dead oc on your hooves.

805073 Awesome, take your time, and thanks. :twilightsmile:

lol, he said that was (In his thoughts) the worst drawing he has done...
sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/310062_445024352190421_1027921235_n.jpg

805093
Artists always see things in a different light.

805102 Can't agree more. Same for authors, too.

So...much...awesome! Unique weapons are a great addition!

B.T.W. hitman, tell your artist he does great pics.

Not bad at all. I enjoy the story and, besides a few nitpicking errors, I definitely like where this is going.

Keep up the good work :twilightsmile:

840939
Could you say what nitpicking errors? So I could fix them please.

841990
You should ask an editor for that. I'm kind of busy, sorry :unsuresweetie:

842239

No worries. I thought it was specific error in a sentence or something. I did take your advice however so thank you.:scootangel:

842990
Oh no problem. Glad to inadvertently be of service :pinkiehappy:

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