Royal Patronage
Svengallop snarled as he stomped into his trailer and kicked the door shut behind him. The nerve of that mare! He made her a star and this was how she repaid him? Well, if Rara wanted her independence, she could have it. It would take him less than an hour to get everypony organized and out of this backwater. He'd even pull his own trailer if it sped up the process. And they certainly wouldn't need the Countess's palanquin, which would free up Pop and Lock to—
A knock on the trailer door interrupted his planning, followed by a voice on the other side saying, "Mister Svengallop?"
Svengallop nearly tore the door off its hinges as he opened it, then scowled at the mares bothering him. One was a white unicorn. The other... "Oh. Hello, Princess. Come for another recording session? How kind of you to actually warn me this time." Svengallop forced his lips into a smirk. "Why don't I go get Purple Rain? We can do this professionally."
The unicorn put her muzzle into the air. "Well! There's no need to be rude."
"After that stunt cost me my star client, I'd say there's every reason to be rude. You probably feel real proud of yourselves right now, don't you? Stopping the big, bad talent agent and saving the poor, innocent starlet." Svengallop threw his hooves into the air. "News flash, ponies! That star is falling thanks to you."
"I am Sapphire Shores's favorite costume designer," said the unicorn, giving him a flat look. "Between the two of us, I think we can get Coloratura another manager."
Svengallop snorted. "What, have Limelight look after her? You think he doesn't go for perks? He has Sapphire Shores convinced that changing managers will curse her for the rest of her life."
"At least he doesn't hold entire performances for ransom."
"Rarity!" The princess frowned at her companion. "I asked you to join me because of your experience in this industry, not so you could heckle Svengallop."
That got Svengallop to raise an eyebrow. He certainly wasn't expecting Princess Twily-Come-Lately to come to his defense. "Why are you two here, anyway?"
Twilight gave him a serious look that could give most record executives a run for their money. "I wanted to make you an offer."
"Did you now? And why should I listen to it?"
Twilight tilted her head behind her, towards the stage. "Can you afford not to?"
Svengallop rolled his eyes. "Please. You think Coloratura was the only client in my stable? Just watch. I'll have a C-lister on the top of the charts in a month."
"Will you now?" said Rarity, raising an eyebrow.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Your best client, the premiere singer in all of Equestria, walking out on you?" Rarity shook her head. "That's not going to look at all good. And trying to boost up somepony with less talent immediately after, well, that's only going to make you look desperate. And if it doesn't pan out? Oh, your reputation will be horribly stained. And, believe me, I know stains."
"Plus," said Twilight. "what if I told you I could get you three A-listers tomorrow? Ones who would really benefit from your particular managerial style?"
Svengallop scoffed. "I'd say you were crazy. Who? From where? And why even help me after convincing Coloratura to drop me like a hot potato?"
"The way you abused her trust and fame was deplorable," said Rarity.
Twilight nudged her with an elbow. "However, that still doesn't give us the right to destroy your livelihood."
Svengallop didn't know how she'd managed to rattle that off with a straight face, but he wasn't impressed. "Seems to give you the right to judge me all you want."
"I'm a princess, sir." Twilight spread her wings for emphasis. "Kind of comes with the title."
"Feh. I'm from Manehattan, Your Highness. I don't care about what you are, only what you can do for me."
"And I'm offering to save your career."
Svengallop chewed it over for a moment. "Okay, I'm listening. But Miss 'I Know Sapphire Shores' here needs to go."
"Gladly." Rarity turned with far too much flair and sauntered off.
Twilight had the decency to look sheepish. "I'm sorry about Rarity. She's had bad experiences with the dark side of Manehattan in the past."
That got a grudging nod out of Svengallop. "Haven't we all. Now, about this group. Any experience?"
"Centuries of it."
Svengallop's mouth worked silently for a moment."Don't tell me Princess Celestia's putting together a duet act with her sister."
Twilight blinked at that. "That's... quite the mental image. And no. However, they are going to need those vocal modulation spells."
"What happened to those centuries of experience?"
"Severe magical backlash." Twilight grinned. "They won't be able to sing a note without you."
Svengallop rubbed his chin. "Hmm. I like what I'm hearing. I'm guessing you don't have any recordings on hoof."
Twilight shook her head. "The logistics involved are... tricky."
Typical. "Can you at least describe their style?"
After a moment, Twilight said, "In a word, seductive."
"Oh, I can definitely work with that." The choreography started coming together in Svengallop's mind before he even realized he was seriously considering the proposal. "Of course, I'll want to meet with them personally."
Twilight nodded. "Of course."
The message was written, the mirror portal activated, and within a few hours, the sirens returned to Equestria... more or less.
"I have wings!" Sonata Dusk marveled at her new appendages. She turned to find that she wasn't the only one doing so. "You have wings!"
Sunset Shimmer nodded, mouth agape, entranced by her feathers.
Meanwhile, Adagio Dazzle scowled at Twilight, tossing her head and sending her hair bunching against her horn. "You can't possibly be serious."
Aria Blaze nudged her hard enough to send her stumbling. "Zip it, Adagio. This is the opportunity of a lifetime. And if you hadn't noticed, we only have one lifetime left."
"We are sirens. This is beneath us."
Aria glared at Adagio, thrashing her tail. "We were sirens. Dark depths, I can't fly or cast spells anymore."
Adagio harrumphed, her muzzle in the air. "We still have our pride. At least, I do."
"And right now, that's all you have." Aria pointed at Sunset. "We were on the verge of eating cat food before Princess Baconhair over there gave us the offer. We're out of money and out of options in the human world. Now look at us. We're back in Equestria, we each have a pony's worth of magic, and we'll even get to sing again. What more could you possibly want?"
Adagio gave her a dumbfounded look. "World domination. Obviously."
"Obviously," Aria said, rolling her eyes. "But if you had to choose between being surrounded by adoring masses who weren't mind controlled and starving in an alley, which would you pick?"
"Well..." Adagio tilted her head from side to side as she thought.
Aria wrapped a foreleg around Adagio's neck and drew her close. "Beach me if I know how, but Sonata actually has more brains than a brine shrimp now that she's a pegasus."
Both looked at Sonata, who was smiling sheepishly at Sunset. "'I'm sorry I thought your hair was edible on the way here. Seems kinda obvious in hindsight, you know?"
"Buh... I... wings..."
Aria nudged Adagio's gaze back at her. "You are not taking this away from me, Dazzle, do you hear me?"
"What I hear is insubordinatiackh!" Adagio floundered as Aria tightened her grip. The unicorn nodded frantically, and the earth mare released her.
Twilight watched Adagio try to catch her breath and collapse in the process. "Well?"
"Sonata and I accept," said Aria. "If Adagio can swallow her pride, great. If not, throw her back."
Adagio got back to her hooves and cleared her throat. "Before I accept, I must meet this agent of yours. We'll need to come to an... understanding."
Twilight nodded. "Of course."
The next day, Adagio and Svengallop sized each other up in the castle foyer. Their movements nearly reflected one another, their eyes narrowed in near-identical appraising looks.
Finally, Adagio broke the silence. "We're only doing this because you can help us sing again."
Svengallop smirked. "I'm only doing this because you can make me rich."
Adagio returned the expression and stuck out a hoof. "So long as we have an understanding."
"I'd say we do," Svengallop said as he bumped it.
"Fast forward a year later, and here we are!" said Sonata.
Coloratura looked around the Bitz-Carlton ballroom. "That's... very nice."
Sonata beamed. "I know, right? Best wedding reception I've ever been to. Also the only one."
After a few moments, Coloratura spoke up again. "I, uh, I feel like you may have skipped a few steps."
"Oh! Well, Adagio was really grateful once we could sing again. Like, really grateful." After a beat, Sonata added, "She wanted to fu—"
"I think I get it," said Coloratura, a little green.
"But Svenny wanted to make sure it was an exclusive thing first." Sonata nodded over to the table where the fiances sat, gazing at one another with lidded eyes like they couldn't decide whether they wanted to kiss or tear out each other's throats.
"I didn't expect Svengallop to be so traditional when it came to that sort of thing." Coloratura did expect him to want to keep something all to himself, but she wasn't going to say that to the bride's sister. At least, she thought the pegasus was Adagio's sister. She certainly wasn't going to ask her here and now.
"Totes romantic, right? And he would not budge on it. So they decided to go whole hog!"
Coloratura took a few moments to try to puzzle that out. "Whole... what?"
"Oh!" Sonata giggled. "Never mind. Expression from another world."
Probably best to not ask, thought Coloratura, who had spent enough time around Pinkie Pie to recognize the signs of a... different mind. "Well, that does explain how we got here, but you never actually answered my question."
"I didn't? Sorry, guess I lost track of things and stuff. What was your question?"
Coloratura pointed at two eerily identical orange mares by the buffet. "Why are there two Applejacks?" Indeed, they were far from the only ponies multiply present. Each of Applejack's friends had a doppleganger, including a wingless, bespectacled Twilight Sparkle who'd spent most of the party all but clinging to the side of an orange alicorn. Most ponies were keeping clear of both of them, not knowing what to do with them.
"Oh, right, that," said Sonata. "Adagio invited them. Said she wanted the girls who beat us to witness her ultimate triumph or something like that. And, well, they're both Applejack, so why not have both come, right?"
"Uh... right."
In the spirit of Valentine's Day, have some belligerent romance between two musical parasites.
Why are the Dazzlings ponies? Well, after the giant energy horse shattered their pendants, Twilight explicitly said they were "just harmless teenage girls." That, to me, implies they were rendered not just powerless, but fully human. By extension, that means that they should turn into ponies when going back through the mirror.
Hey, it makes at least as much sense as Spike turning into a dog. 
(Oh, and if you're wondering, Pop Hit and Lock Step are two of the backup dancers from "The Mane Attraction." Just don't ask me which ones.)
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Well... This looks promising.
Edit: And it was. Sonata shall be happily dining on freshly drowned minotaur again in no time.
Did you accidentally leave this marked incomplete?
Brilliant! SvenDagio is such an obviously perfect ship in hindsight, but I must give you mad props for thinking of it.
Oh, you.
I really probably should watch the episode this is built upon.
Ok this was kinda cute, kinda messed up, and kinda strange. Still I like the fact Twilight didn't leave the guy on the streets even he was a amoral jerk; says a lot about her. Still Adagio couldn't find a better match.
Nice story and I would love to see a sequel with the human seven and their reaction to the other side of the mirror.
Svengallop is fun. I should read more of him.
I feel this cannot be improved!
perfect
This was a great story! And though I'm not counting on it, I would very much like to see the love/hate epic that led to this unholy matrimony, because the little we've seen is great fun. Keep up the good work!
This ship was a match made in the depths of Tartarus. I've never seen two ponies deserve each other so thoroughly since a certain pairing in Earth, Wind, and Sky.
And Sunset's reaction to having wings was priceless. That awkward moment when you realize you've actually been a demigod for a couple of months now.
I had a fun time reading this, and it looks like you had a fun time writing it. Thanks for sharing, FoME!
Haaa. This was worth quite the giggle.
I liked it - and this comment serves no purpose but I'm leaving it for reasons.
And Sunset Shimmer wins the award for Most Surprised Alicorn.
Honestly Svengallop and the Sirens are MADE for one another, I don't see them being anything less than DIVAS and pretty shallow. Keeping them out of trouble seems like a good idea.
Oh my
That was really good.
I had never, ever even considered the possibility of SvenDagio, but damn if it isn't a perfect pairing. You win again, FoME!
6929359
The official line on the Baltimare incident is that Sonata was trying to pull that bull out of the water. With her mouth. The hissing was because of an adrenaline rush in her desperation to save him. Mr. Salthorns was very nicely compensated for his trouble.
And no, she isn't allowed to file her "stupid blunt grazer teeth" to points.
6929393
Fixed.
Yes, yes I did.
6929427
There's no better name for The Pony Obviously Based on Prince.
6929569
You should! It's quite a good one, basically the story of Pony Lady Gaga with some great moments for both Pinkie and Applejack.
6929676
That sequel idea is actually rather tempting. I may need to consider it.
6929871
I'm not sure I could do justice to the torrid love affair between the snake and the leech. That may be better left to the readers' imagination, or at least someone with more romance writing experience.
6929941 6930013
Yeah, Sunset was not prepared for this. Though now that I think about it, the timeline is a bit wonky, since the Friendship Games were supposed to occur after the events of "The Cutie Re-Mark."
Eh, I'm going to hide behind the Random tag and the Rule of Funny on that one.
6930002
I still appreciate it.
A great fun tale of the Equestrian music industry. Amazing how what at first seems a crazy random idea actually all fits together so well.
This is pretty neat. I'd actually love to see Twilight react to Sunsets wings. That would probably be funny. Your story, though, was funny and serious in all the right places.
When Twilight Sparkle mentioned a trio, my first thought was a band with the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Which would be a wonderful punishment for Svengallop.
slowclap
Bravo sir, bravo
This was wonderful.
I hope to see more stories set in this version of Equestria, even if Svengallop and the Dazzlings aren't directly involved. For one thing, I'm kind of wondering about such things as how Sunset Shimmer is adjusting to being a part-time alicorn (part-time because she's apparently still going back and forth between worlds in your story), and how the other Mane Six are reacting to being ponies.
I forget... Why is EQG!Twilight clinging to Sunset again?
6931349 6931504
It certainly says something that my silly stories make people want to see more. I'll see what I can do.
6931387
Twilight specifically came to Svengallop because she didn't want to be cruel. Though to be fair, the Crusaders would probably benefit from post-processing even more than the Dazzlings.
6931750
Far less experience with bizarre horse magic and bizarre magic horses than the others. Also general social awkwardness. Human Fluttershy was doing alright, but only because she was dealing with another species.
(And, on a Doylist level, because I find Sunlight an adorable ship.)
Queer
But I like
This story is now featured, if you have "no smut" toggled.
Dang, you're GOOD
This could be canon :D
Sweet story, though I think you made Rarity a bit too cruel.
That's uncalled for, I'm sure some of those other ponies could have as much talent as Coloratura.
And the Sirens are ponies now, because magic. That portal will never never make sense to me. And where they really so bad off after they lost their Siren magic, didn't they survive hundreds of years in that world? They should really have considered creating a savings account, the interest alone would've made them rich.
It's what you did to Lightning Dust, more or less...
Say, you could write another story like this about her!
Also, ponies don't have elbows.
Well the story picture could do a little better in teasing readers with more prominent events and not the main character, but besides that this story is pretty good quality!
6932400 Ah, see, that's where you're wrong! AJ sings about elbows in Raise This Barn, so they *must* sometimes reffer to their front knees as such. I may have coincidentally been having roughly this discussion earlier with my gf. I'm not proud. :P
Jesus dude, I guarantee no one else would have thought of something like this.
6932778 So... are you going to write the story?
6932352 The portal works in whatever way is most useful to the plot, obviously! It can tell! Because... MAGIC!!
6932352
I have to admit, I worried I might have overplayed Rarity's hostility. Still, I can't see her being especially kind towards someone who more or less embodies the polar opposite of her philosophy in life. (e.g. take everything you can get, exploit everything that can be exploited, use the client as a vehicle to realize your creative vision rather than using it to make them shine, etc.)
As for the ponified sirens, my logic is as follows: After the final battle of the bands, Twilight explicitly said they were now, and I quote, "just three harmless teenage girls." Assuming she was correct, it stands to reason that they are fully human, and thus sending them through the portal should turn them into ponies.
Also, it's unclear whether the sirens actually needed to eat physical food before their defeat. Sonata enjoys doing so, of course, but it could just be a form of recreation for her. Aria uses culinary metaphors during the first feeding session of the movie, and I'm not sure how literally I should take them.
Given that, I see the sirens having to spend most of their time in the human world stuck in what could be described as subsistence farming: constantly riling up people to generate the negative emotional energy needed to survive just long enough to rile up more people. With a magical catalyst, their powers could generate an incredible feedback loop. Without that catalyst, they could barely sustain themselves.
6932400
There's being a jerk, and then there's being so arrogant and reckless that you put lives at risk. (Yes, lives that chose to visit a secure military instillation unannounced, but this was Season 3. The Mane Six probably had higher security clearance than Spitfire at that point.)
Also, there's the slight complication of not having a character no one's associated with Lightning Dust but who would make a perfect romantic partner for her.
Finally, horse do have elbows, but they're about where our shoulder joints are. It was more of a full-body nudge. (Or Twilight used her front knee. Take your pick.)
6932405
The problem with coming up with an fairly original idea is that there are very few suitable illustrations. There are only about seventy pictures of Svengallop on Derpibooru, and the only ones that have both him and Twilight are either her casting the recording spell or massive group shots. Seriously, if you have a better picture on hand, I will happily swap out the current one for it.
Also, I wanted to keep most of the story a surprise for the reader, hence the character tags. The comments kind of shot that in the foot, but I expect spoilers to crop up here anyway.
Shouldn't she be swearing to the imprisoned entity, and not the place?
Can't help feeling this would've been even more sidesplitting/fitting for Svengy with the Sirens retaining their original hippocampid funk, but sans (a) the practice in non-bling-enhanced vocals and (b) the rubies' massive mindwarping power-boost; I'd be very surprised to learn that all aquapones were quite so potent from birth. Plus, I'll confess to the fanart penchant for XTRA KY00T KILLER SEAHORSE PONIFICATION(R) sorta rubbing me the wrong way, but that kinda goes with the territory for attractive villains' enthusiast bases. At least you spun some effective in-group debate over the switch.
As for Rarity trading caustic broadsides with Sven: heck, some of S5's verbal exchanges have been equally if not more heated (Moondancer with a Ponyville Slugger, anyone?) We're not talking Rugrats' Care-Bears-parody level of sugarbowl here.
6933286
1. The depths in question are more oceanic abyss than eldritch glacier.
2. People swear by places all the time. How many times have you heard exclamations of "Hell" as opposed to "Satan"?
3. Look, you want to directly invoke Marit Lage, be my guest. I'm leaving that kind of thing to professionally trained hexmages.
6933802
As I noted in an earlier comment, there is logic behind my choice to ponify the sirens beyond teh kyoot. Basically, the giant energy horse blowing up their pendants rendered them fully human—hence Aria's comments about only having one lifetime left—and by extension, going back through the portal should turn them into ponies. I'll just go add that to the author's note. Keeping them hippocampi would've been fun, yes, but those gems seem to be less power boosters and more vital organs. Specifically, part of their digestive system. Sirens appear similar to changelings and windigoes in that regard; their biology probably doesn't mesh well with our understanding of life.
And believe me, I am anything but a part of the sirens' usual fan base. (You should see what I do to Sonata in Oversaturation.) I never forgot that they were monsters behind the pretty faces. This isn't redemption so much as it's Aria being practical, Sonata going with the flow, and Adagio being dragged along by her greed and gonads. Given half a chance, they'd be back on the path of conquest, so neither I nor Twilight gave them one.
Oh Celestia I'm enjoying this too much. Very unexpected and I like that.
This.
I like this.
This is the first story I've read where Svengallop wasn't treated absolutely viciously by the so-called heroes, up to and including murdered by hellhounds or fed to Changelings.
And the thing with the Dazzlings, Adagio in particular. I liked it.
6933140
Well, maybe not a perfect fit, but I've seen this:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/6/24/660856__safe_shipping_blushing_straight_royal+guard_prince+blueblood_lightning+dust_artist-colon-silcy.png
"Now where are you going in a hurry?"
"Oh. It's you."
"Course it's me, prince! I'm your bodyguard."
"It still eludes me why auntie believes somepony who almost got her own star student killed would be a good pick to protect anything."
"Eh, don't care. This is my last chance to make it big, so I'm not letting you out of my sight."
"... You are a pest."
"I love you too!"
6935246 Blueblood x Lightning Dust? What story is that?
As for the story, I can totally see Sonata and Pinkie Pie being besties. The wedding was a nice touch.
6933140 Actually, Rarity should sympathize with Svangallop's philosophy. She almost used to follow it to a 'T'. Especially, how she treated Spike.
How about Lightning Dust x Limestone Pie? Hell, Trixie x Maud is a popular ship (and one of my favorites).
6936179
Someone's projecting their headcanon here. Rarity never acted like Svangallop, and she never treated Spike as a possession or something she controlled.
6937304 No, but she did exploit and tried to take what she could. Using him as a pincushion. Conning him into giving her something that he was saving for his birthday. I did say almost.
6937920 I think it would be a bit more accurate to say that she and him have a similar business ethic, not a similar philosophy. Rarity is the element of generosity while svengallop hasn't acted generously even once so I can't say their philosophies are the same. But when it comes to business you have to make do with what opportunities come to you, so I suppose they are far more similar in that sense.
6937920 She never exploited him. The pincushion thing was obviously a visual gag, and even if it wasn't, it was clear that Spike was into it, hell, it was probably even his idea, since I don't see Rarity asking him if she can stick pins on him, but I can see him being "manly" and showing her how "tough" he is.
And while the whole thing with the ruby was questionable at best, she didn't do it with malice. She batted her eyelashes at him and whined a little. She does that to everyone she wants something from. Just look at Putting your Hoof Down.
I mean, I do see where you're coming from a bit, but this isn't even an almost... they're very different things.
6931171
*raises eyebrow*
6940930
It's not an uncommon phrase, but the tragedy of Fernando and le Flour was fairly fresh in mind when I wrote that comment. Feel free to take some credit.
Hee, his name reminds me of the Three Stooges 1949 short "Hokus Pokus" with the hypnotist 'Svengarlic' and the tagline of the poster they were putting up 'He'll steal your breath away'. Heh heh.
It was a routine reused for "Flagpole Jitters" in 1956.
Of course, the name is based on the character Svengali from the novel "Trilby"... though not used in the same way here for the episode, which were it to bear a similar plot structure would have made Coluratura somehow dependent on Svengallop for a magical means to sing.
6937920 Ah, but Spike and Rarity shall soon fall in love... a tragic romance that shall end as Spike grows larger and has a very vivid dream of eating a giant marshmallow one night...