When Hex arrives in Ponyville from Manehattan, she carries with her a secret about her past that she is determined to hide from her new classmates.
As soon as Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon meet Hex, they invite her into their exclusive clique because of her roots in Manehattan.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders are excited to meet the new filly, but once they discover that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon have already started to corrupt Hex, they vow to befriend her.
Set between Seasons 4 and 5.
Chapters (1)
Oh nooooo! This story has a OC!!! That will cost you one downvote.
Great first chapter. I can really see this as an actual episode, and Hex seems nice enough. Pretty weird that somepony called 'Hex Decimal' ended up with binary numbers on her flank, though. Already looking forward to reading more! I hereby track it, and have an upvote on me.
I think this sentence a word missing.
You might want to give it a 'Slice of Life' tag, as well.
6844892 I'm so glad that you're liking my story so far!
The reason behind the discontinuity between Hex's name and her cutie mark is because I originally wanted her to have a programming-oriented name and Hex Decimal sounded cooler than any other name that had to do with binary. Likewise, a binary cutie mark looked better than one in hexadecimal.
Also, thanks for pointing out that typo! I totally missed that during the reread XD
6844891 Umm.... I'm sorry you have a thing against OC's?
6845570 Oh no. I love OC's but you will get down voted just because your story has an OC.
I dunno what drew me to it, but I went through what you have and I am not unfond, but I do have a few criticisms:
1) Use of "still" and other present-tense verbiage in a past-tense story. This is a tricky habit to break, I know.
2) Hex is a bit dull at the moment, I don't really have a grasp on who she is as a character
3) This situation follows the basic plotline of the Babs episode, but without adding any real spice to it.
Kick it up a notch and we'd really be talking.
~ If I were going to properly edit/preread this, I'd say you should seriously consider revising this chapter with that in mind. Keep the same basic structure, but add some energy and additional characterization to it.
6845599 Wow, okay then. Kindly see yourself out, would you?
6846446 Thanks so much for all those great suggestions! I will have to go through and revise it with that in mind.
Also, even though it sounds a lot like the story with Babs, I promise that the story line will deviate from that a lot during the next chapter!
6855631 What? Not by me. Some members will give a down vote just because of an OC