• Member Since 1st Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen May 14th

Badmiral Biscuit


Sometimes slice of life is saucy.

Comments ( 38 )

I know this is a clop story but I am not quite sure what I'm reading.

6843701
That's alright, I don't know what I was writing.

6843888

Scrubs, all of them.

Pretty much

The sociological implications of this particular pony community leave me slightly disturbed, but then I'm always the sort to read a bit too deeply into simple, silly things.

6845661
That was what my pre-reader thought as well, but I didn't listen to her.

6845755

Every story is a universe waiting to happen. The words guide our perceptions of these worlds just as much as our life experiences change the way we look at our own universe. With these words I see a world where sex and pregnancy is as "pedestrian" as failing a math (or in this case, magic) test. Reminds me of a fetish I came across called "free use" where women had no problem with guys just suddenly bending them over the nearest object and having sex right there whether they knew each other or not. It just kind of happened. It was almost considered integral to the society where girls would be going about their business while it was happening and it would only be considered a minor inconvience.

It brings up notions of absurdity to the extremes and makes me almost wonder how a society like that would even function. Ironically, it seems like it would break down a lot of barriers that people normally get upset over. If it wasn't "cheating", if it wasn't "violation of personal space", if it wasn't "rape"... what would be the problems of this world?

But then again, what if each of these mares wore red collars? How do you say something is wrong when everyone else agrees to it? Is it even worth fighting by that point? If everyone else is ready and even willing to under go "little indignities" as if it means nothing and incidentally it means that there are fewer fights, fewer disturbances where people must be hurt so that others can feel safer?

This reminds me of Margaret Atwood's novel The Handmaid's Tale.
Very unexpected ending, good job!

6856771

Every story is a universe waiting to happen. The words guide our perceptions of these worlds just as much as our life experiences change the way we look at our own universe.

Very true, and I think that's one place where the written word is better than TV or movies. Writing leaves gaps for the reader to fill in.

It brings up notions of absurdity to the extremes and makes me almost wonder how a society like that would even function. Ironically, it seems like it would break down a lot of barriers that people normally get upset over. If it wasn't "cheating", if it wasn't "violation of personal space", if it wasn't "rape"... what would be the problems of this world?

That's a really good question. I don't know. There would be a lot of changes in such a world.

But then again, what if each of these mares wore red collars? How do you say something is wrong when everyone else agrees to it?

Well, on earth we have what we've collectively decided are universal values, although there are of course a lot of grey areas there. But in a truly alien world . . . well, who knows? Their values wouldn't be the same as ours, that's for sure.

If everyone else is ready and even willing to under go "little indignities" as if it means nothing and incidentally it means that there are fewer fights, fewer disturbances where people must be hurt so that others can feel safer?

Seems like something that a society has to decide for itself--where do you draw lines, what do you allow, disallow, etc. What kind of liberties do you assume are given, and when can you restrict them? And those values change over time. It's a constantly changing morality.

6858306

This reminds me of Margaret Atwood's novel The Handmaid's Tale.

Interestingly, I have that novel, but I've never read it.

Very unexpected ending, good job!

Thanks!

A little dark he says...

7202372
I thought it was funny; my pre-reader thought it was dark. I guess sometimes I'm a horrible person.

7207899

It's humorous in a dark way. It makes a lot of very dark implications.

What did I just read???

What kind of 'exam' is this?!

I suppose one might find the ending a little dark. Meh, whatever.

It's not dark. Well, maybe. What answer do you want to hear to preserve your postmodernist hyperindividualism?

But what if it was an alicorn filly?

this is an old story with comments from 51 weeks ago, how did the first published date get changed?

7714186

What kind of 'exam' is this?!

It's a practical exam, which means that you have to demonstrate your knowledge.

7859184

It's not dark. Well, maybe. What answer do you want to hear to preserve your postmodernist hyperindividualism?

I think that it's really a question of what the reader brings to the table, whether it's dark or not. My pre-reader thought it was kind of rape-y, and I can see how a reader could interpret it that way.

7859202

<spoilered text>

In that case, I guess she'd probably want to keep it.

7861546

this is an old story with comments from 51 weeks ago, how did the first published date get changed?

It still says January 16, 2016 for me. What does it say for you?

7876295
Yes, but is it still a fail?

7876290
Well, that was a late reply, but still an reply.
While that's an interesting answer, I still don't understand the result.

Would she had passed if she was rated a 'mare' instead of a 'filly'?
And did the fail the theory or the demonstration?

7876295 whoops, looks like i haven't quite yet switched over to 2017 yet... :derpyderp1: i must have much more tired then i realized if i thought it could be this year when it wasn't even the 16th yet..

7876597
Yes, because she was supposed to be doing a contraceptive spell.

7877304

Well, that was a late reply, but still an reply.

It's an alt account, so I don't check it a lot.

While that's an interesting answer, I still don't understand the result.
Would she had passed if she was rated a 'mare' instead of a 'filly'?
And did the fail the theory or the demonstration?

She was supposed to do a contraceptive spell, and then demonstrate that it worked. Since she got pregnant, it didn't work; therefore, she failed the exam.

She was supposed to do a contraceptive spell, and then demonstrate that it worked. Since she got pregnant, it didn't work; therefore, she failed the exam.

NOW I finally get it!!!
(And it took me only 11 weeks and 4 days.)

It's an alt account, so I don't check it a lot.

I didn't know about that.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

what the fuck c.c

7953299
Don't blame me, blame society.

Haha, meanwhile all the foals learn that they're essentially born of failure for a meaningless test. Guess it's better than the fate of the pegasi failures at least.
It is now canon that Pegasus Device and this story are in the same AU!

11534305

Haha, meanwhile all the foals learn that they're essentially born of failure for a meaningless test. Guess it's better than the fate of the pegasi failures at least.

Yeah, that would be kind of embarrassing to learn . . . or maybe not, maybe ponies have a different view on those things than humans do.

It is now canon that Pegasus Device and this story are in the same AU!

Pegasus Device? I'm not sure what/who that is.

11541588
The Rainbow Factory, where your fears and horrors come true.

11541617
Oh that story. I've heard of that story. Never read that story, not really my cup of tea.

11541635
It's depressing for sure. 😇

11541589
To be more specific: the story is well written. I understand that it's 'that kind of story' and I'm not supposed to think about things too hard... But it still feels very mean-spirited towards the girls. It's not light-hearted enough to pull off its' premise

HorseGirlsAreWatching fell into the same trap with his story. People were quite upset when silly clop got distopian without much warning.

[Adult story embed hidden]

11542402

To be more specific: the story is well written. I understand that it's 'that kind of story' and I'm not supposed to think about things too hard... But it still feels very mean-spirited towards the girls. It's not light-hearted enough to pull off its' premise

Oh, I totally get what you're saying, and I agree. I didn't think it was too . . . dark? (not sure what the right word is) on the surface, especially compared to some, but it's certainly the kind of thing where you think about it and it goes bad places pretty fast. Not to mention that it certainly hasn't aged well IMHO.

It's not something I'd write today, that's for sure.

EDIT: if you want to have further discussion of the subject not in the comments section, I'm game. :heart:

11542536
Sorry it took me so long to reply - I had a difficult week.

if you want to have further discussion

I'm fine. But if you want to talk about writing or any other stuff - sure, I'm here. You sound as if you are pretty harsh on yourself.

If you just want to keep the comment section clean - that's fair, I'll see myself out. :twilightsmile:

11545893

I'm fine. But if you want to talk about writing or any other stuff - sure, I'm here. You sound as if you are pretty harsh on yourself.

It's not being harsh on myself, and I didn't mean for it to come off like that. More of reflections of things we do as artists, and growing as artists and a person, and separating the art from the person. That's more of the discussion I was thinking of.

To put it another way, I wouldn't pull something from FimFic 'cause it wasn't my best work; there might be some people who genuinely like it, where it spoke to them, or it might serve as a reminder that even a Great and Powerful author such as myself sometimes writes duds--keeps me humble, or could be inspirational to someone else to see what a decade-plus of writing fanfiction can produce (hopefully ever-improving quality, but YMMV).

No, I was thinking more of subjects or themes that are problematic either due to changing morals of society, or pure authorial ignorance when it was written, like the kind of joke you might have told as a schoolkid but now that you're older and wiser the kind of thing you'd never say again. Should things like that remain memorialized or are they best forgotten?

11548588

I wouldn't pull something from FimFic

Good to hear. It's sad when decent stories disappear.

I was thinking more of subjects or themes that are problematic either due to changing morals of society, or pure authorial ignorance when it was written

I don't think this one is 'problematic'. I was more concerned with the fact that the tags say 'Comedy'. But the joke is lost on me.

My thoughts:
What happens to Lemon Hearts is essentially a version of 'Training from Hell' trope. The school wants her to know a contraceptive spell, but if she does something wrong, she ends up with an unwanted foal from the guy she doesn't know.
Problems:
1) It makes no sense. Do they want the girls to stay safe or not?
2) It's not funny because the consequences are harsh (unwanted pregnancy was a serious business since the dawn of time) and Lemon suffers even though she is not at fault (as far as I could tell).

Readers can easily accept silly tropes if the content matches the story's tone.

What I think could have worked better:
1) Lemon Hearts thinks she is pregnant and is freaking out. The teacher calms her down, tells her she isn't and points out that school has no interest in knocking her up. Perhaps Lemon scored poorly in logic and/or failed to learn a scan spell to check herself properly.
2) Bringing your own coltfriend is an option. One can have some endless fun with mental gymnastics young mares would perform. Should they? Is it cheating? What is more embarrassing: to be with your guy in public or to do it with a random guard replacement? Etc.

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