After about ten hours of sailing, Celestia's sun was just comming over the horizon."So" I asked Trixie, "How long did it take you to get to the isle?"
"Let's see," she says as she pondered about what I said, "I would say about a good two days, but we are off course now because of how fast we had to get away from those dremora."
"Yeah," I say as I laid on my back on one of the seats of the boat, "Judgin by how cold it's getting I say we're heading north, so do you now how to get to the crystal empire from the shore line?"
"I do now that we have this book." she tells me as I get up from my seat, "If we stop at this bay here," she say as she points" which is about a day away, by hoof, it would take about a good twenty mile trek through the snow." Trixie said as she pointed out beyond shoreline.
"Good, now that we have a plan, what I want to know is that if you do have the supplies for the north?" I ask asked her.
"Of course I do."she tells me, "This isn't the first time I got lost at sea." she tells me.
"This is going to be a long trip," I Think to myself as sat down."Now then, Let's get to that bay."
"Right then." she says to me.
over 44 hours later
"So here it is, the Crystal Empire." trixieTrixie said. She then noticed the sad look on my face., "You ok there?"
" Sorry, it's just that today is a sad day for me." I told her.
"And why is that?" she asksasked as she turned around, looking away from me.
"Judging by all the decorations they have there." I tell her", I would have to say that they're having a memorial for the fall of Annaria today."
"Today"s the day that Annaria fell?!?!" trixie asks me shocked. Trixie turned back, her face filled with perplexity and a bit of astonishment. She regained her normal composure, still stunned as she turned back to face the Crystal Empire, "I can also tell that there's something else too."
"Yes" I tell her as I trotted passed her to the edge of a cliff to get a better overview of the city as breeze passed by, moving about my mane and tail. My eyes were slightly slanted as I finally gave my response, " Today was the day I was born, six years before the fall."
Okay it works
Good
6844262 thank you so much for this,
6844267 Welcome. Finished the editing of the first chapter. Thanks for the pm.
(Here's the second chapter, please give me a copy of this chapter unedited in the pm. Would be greatly appreciated.)
Red = Remove
Green = Type in place of
Yellow = Explanations
(Watch carefully because some of the corrections that are in green are punctuations.)
After about ten hours of sailing, celestiasCelestia's sun was string to come over the horizon."soSo" I asksasked trixieTrixie, "howHow long did it take you to get to the isle?"
"letLet's see," she sayssaid as she ponderspondered about what I said, "I would say about a good two days, but we are off course now because of how fast we had to get away from those dremora."
"yeahYeah," I sayssaid as I'm lying in laid on my back on one of the seats of the boat, "judgingJudging by how cold it's getting I sayssaid we're heading north, so do you now how to get to the crystal empire from the shore line?"
"I do now that we have this book.," she tellstold me as I getgot up from my seat, "ifIf we stop at this bay here," she say as she points" which is about a day away, by hoof, it would take about a good twenty mile trek through the snow.," Trixie said as she pointed out beyond shoreline.
"goodGood, now that we have a plan, what I want to know is that do if you have the supplies for the north?" I ask asked her.
(you could actually have put "if you" or "that you do" to make sense of the sentence)
" ofOf course I do.," she tellstold me, "this isn't the first time I got lost at sea." she tells me.
"this sThis is going to be a long trip," I thinkthought to myself as sitsat down.," nowNow then, letlet's get to that bay."
"rightRight then." she says to me.said.
over 44 hours later
"so here it isSo here it is, the crystal empireCrystal Empire." trixieTrixie says said,. She then notices a noticed the sad look on my face., "youYou ok there?"
"sorry" I tell her" Sorry, it's just that today is a sad day for me." I told her.
"andAnd why is that?" she asksasked as she turned around, looking away from him.
"judgingJudging by all the decorations they have there." I tell her", I would have to say that they're having a memorial for the fall of annariaAnnaria today."
"today'sToday's the day that annariaAnnaria fell?!?!" trixie asks me shocked. Trixie turned back, her face filled with perplexity and a bit of astonishment. She regained her normal composure, still stunned as she turned back to face the Crystal Empire, "I can also tell that there's something else too."
"yesYes" I telltold her as I trotted passed her to the edge of a cliff to get a better overview of the city as breeze passed by, moving about my mane and tail. My eyes were slightly slanted as I finally gave my response, " todayToday was the day I was born, six years before the fall."
6856800 thank you. When the story gets approved the next chapter will be out soon.