A TBC fic. Also my first fanfiction on fimfiction. If you don't like TBCs then don't read. Simple as.
She was only two years old when the barrier started to consume her home planet, Earth. They gave no mercy to her people. Claiming her elders to be heartless monsters. Takes one to know one. As the last human of her species, kept in a zoo for revenue until she died. A quick death would be a mercy. These monsters pay thousands of their 'bits' to see her cooped up in her 'habitat' a barren wasteland.
Rated teen because I wouldn't use 'damn' or 'badass' around children or preteens.
Chapters (1)
One like and dislike already? Wow you guys are fast.
The dialogue between the tour guide and foals could be a bit better, but other then that, a pretty good one shot. Considering the travesty that most TCB stories are.
6799987 Thank you, considering I wrote and edited it in a small amount of time, I wasn't really expecting positive feedback. I shall edit a bit more for future readers.
Not terrible. . . not great either. I personally don't really like it when the ponies win when they are so blatantly wrong (unless it happens where the ponies learn a lesson and realize they were wrong but its too late to fix their mistake) so that might be hindering my experience. But this story also feels like its missing some details as well as incomplete. I don't know if you plan to make a sequel or not but I think this story needs more to it, it didn't really move me. It's not really bad just not interesting to me, that's all.
I could hear the tour guide giving a lecture
but I hardly want ponies to be hollering for my death
The ending is a bit vague, it seems he/she has a plan, but we're not told anything about it. Needs some more details on that part, and could easily add 2-3 paragraphs to the story.
Anywho, that's all I can think of after a quick read. Good luck and don't be discouraged by the dislikes.
6802356
Thanks.
Nit pick; it should be T(he)C(onversion)B(ureau), not TBC.
Oh god, I know just please ignore this horrid story. While I will not delete it because it is my first story, I advise that you or anyone else should view it. I shall not be making anymore changes.