DJ_Bron3
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ME GUSTA.
Son, I am Impress. You really know how to "flesh out" O.C. ponies. I also am pleased to report that in the time it took me to read this story...img.ponibooru.org/_images/93ae7bc65bcb381c08818ed6ad6b51f0/32342%20-%20baws%20celestia%20duplicate%20Is%20i_came%20Molestia%20sparklehooves.png sorry about large image, could not find smaller.
853896
Aww
Maybe next time?
LAST!
853896 I'll delete mine so you can haz FIRSTness.
854450
NO!
Yours is funny
ok, I just don't like it when I makes ponies feel bad. that's why I stopped writing stories.
~Due to popular demand~
It's time for a TD review!
Writing stories involving OC's can usually be quite difficult. You have the idea for the character completely mapped in your head, so it's easy to leave out details that would be essential for the audience to understand why a character did something.
Even more dangerous whenever you're writing about someone else's OC's.
What's lovely about this is that it doesn't pretend to "blend in" nor mesh with the show's cast in any way. It's centered entirely around its designated characters in its own stand-alone story. There's no secret, dark sides to existing characters; no evil, new monsters threatening Equestria; nor does it feature a surprised human's trip to the pony world. It's simply depicting two mares and their relationship with one another.
Very quaint. Has a largely "slice-of-life" feel. The ambiguous plot also allows for readers to draw their own conclusions about certain aspects, but without sacrificing any detail. A tricky--and very effective--technique.
Now, there's one part that you included that really impacted me:
"Although sex is by no means the foundation of a relationship, it is still a very important element."
I could not agree with this more.
Let's indulge psychology now.
Why would sex be an important aspect? Relationships work just fine without sex!
No doubt, there are relationships that can prosper without sexual activity, so we have to look at what the relationships have in common that make them successful.
Physical contact. "Intimacy"
Silver leaned across the table, taking Constance’s hoof in hers.
Face-to-face communication. "Connection"
Constance stared deeply into the pegasus' searching eyes.
Loving sentiment. "Passion"
"If it makes you happy, then it’s worth every bit.”
But that's not sex! That's being sweet!
So let's compare what these seemingly inane actions and sex have in common then, shall we?
There's a very specific hormone that is released during such activity (and more) that directly correlates with trust, love, and other happy feels. That's why we develop a crush on those that are physically close to us, or just feel comfortable and trusting around them at least.
Oxytocin. The wonderful little hormone that is the mastermind behind it all.
It's released during sexual intercourse as well.
"This was it, the spark she had been missing for so long."
The next time someone tells you "Sex doesn't matter for a relationship", you can happily tell them "It's just as important as talking or holding hands."
In the end, I greatly enjoyed this story. It was easy to visualize the scenes, and I found myself hungry for more as it developed. This has to be one of greatest one-shot's I've read. It was really captivating.
Sure, there are some parts that could be improved, but that's minor.
(Things like introducing the characters, giving a little more backstory, climax, et cetera.)
I am determined to eat at Dovetail one day now... Even if I have to go alone. QQ
~This has been a TD review~
Grade: Passing (A) 93.241%
853896
*See's new post and descripion to link*, OH DEAR GOD
Very short review: But can say I rather liked it. The alcohol affected her too fast however to what I know, usually takes several minutes for it to pass into the bloodstream. Quite liked the emotion in there, and the... "moral"? I guess one could call it. And that something other than "she got wet" was in this, it's not all there is to female arousal. And it gets a little dull when it's all some mention, unlike here, where heat and desire was mostly focused. The tree thing was a bit random, but overall, it was a really neat story. Even if it technically left a few questions, or opened for a sequel heh.
856242
Thank you for your kind words
As for your questions:
1. The faster you drink, the faster it affects you. You can feel the effects of a shot of liquor within seconds.
2. The tree thing was random, but you've never seen it before, have you?
854786
Yet another excellent review, my good friend
You always manage to find things that make me look good, even if they were accidental.
857755
Your uncanny ability to write fics that hold great relevance elsewhere is truly baffling
It's as if you're the Pinkie Pie of writing
857744 You're welcome
Always nice to see some that write fics more "neatly", and authors that doesn't tell me to instead "adapt" and get the sexual drive of a male instead of them writing more accurately/believable/correct xD
1: Hum, didn't know that. Only know two things about booze: 1: It's generally slow to "work". 2: It goes faster if you take said booze from "the back" xD
2: I think I've read hints about something tree-ish in 1-2 other fics, but not as direct no hehe.
>Pink Lining
cached.brentozar.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/i-see-what-you-did-there-300x237.jpg
859726 Sorry, but I really can't recall what they were called. Only thing I can recall atm is that I have a pun in one of mine that is "Miss Trees". But for the ones with the tree content, I really can't recall them. I guess they weren't good enough, heh :P
First I had heard about a fanon based "tree fetish". Kinda a neat idea. Wonder if Alicorns (being part pegasus) would have the same issues.
I wonder if Fluttershy would get RD off even faster if she were a tree.
Fondling trees... Next up is fellating robots... or whatever...
Just a silly nitpick.
“That sounds lovely. We’ll have two glasses of your finest red wine.”
'The waitress returned with the bottle and a bucket of ice, placing it on the edge of the table.'
Red wines are meant to be served at room temperature. Ice buckets are for whites.
874143
In all honesty, I know nothing of wine. I don't drink it.
I prefer something a bit stronger, like bourbon or scotch.
874782 I don't drink at all. =P About all I know about wine is that white should be cold and in skinny glasses, and red should be warm and in fat glasses. I just felt compelled to point it out. Other than that, it was a good read. Thanks for writing it.
874922
No problem
I only write these things for the enjoyment of others
And to get terrible ideas out of my head
Same name how do you feel