My hooves dragged as I trotted back to the castle, and my head remained bowed, as if Fluttershy's silence weighed me down. The quiet finally became too oppressive to ignore, my stomach too twisted by the words which had fought to escape my lips since we had left the boutique. "I didn't mean to hurt her."
"I know."
I swallowed hard, and pain flared briefly from the dryness of my throat. Fluttershy had not hesitated in her response. Perfunctory or sincere? I couldn't tell. No matter what she had said, the sadness in her voice conveyed far more. "I don't hate her or anything like that."
"I know."
I clenched my teeth against the urge to rage at her. Could she not offer some other insight? Why was I even bothering, given what Chrysalis had said about her? Every action I took only reinforced the changeling queen's accusation: I was not one of them, and I did not belong. "I don't want to hurt anypony."
"I know that, too."
I stopped and demanded, "How do you know that?"
Fluttershy turned towards me. "I'm sorry?"
"You keep saying 'I know' to everything I've said! How do you know?"
"It's just something I sense in you. I know you'd never intentionally hurt anypony."
So maybe that was the answer: Fluttershy was indeed gullible.
Why did I think that? Did acceptance of Chrysalis' words have to come at the expense of hurting others? All I wanted to do was escape to a better place, even if I were no longer sure how to define that. Escape to where? Home? I had initially escaped from there. Would shedding a piece of jewelry really mean a better life back there?
Was it so bad to want to remove myself from a world that had never been intended for me, and to return something that really never belonged to me? Wouldn't that just fix things by putting them back the way they were? Once I was gone, these ponies would move on. I would move on.
"Candy?"
God, that voice and its simple and innocent concern. She might as well have been Michelle in pony form. All my attempts to deny the resemblance had crumbled to dust. "I'm fine," I said, averting my eyes.
"No, you're not."
I trembled. "You ... you really have no idea, Fluttershy. Seriously, you don't."
"Then tell me."
I let out a ragged breath. "I'm not a monster."
Fluttershy uttered a tiny gasp. "Candy, I--"
"I'm not. I just feel like sometimes I-I'm acting like one because I have to fix something that's terribly broken, and I don't know any other way to do it. And you have no idea what that feels like."
"Yes, I do."
My gaze snapped back to hers, and my mouth opened to deliver a retort. The words died before reaching my lips when I looked into her earnest and glistening eyes.
"I really do," Fluttershy said with a small sigh. "I hurt ponies who were my friends. I didn't think I deserved them anymore after that. I even tried to lock myself away from them."
My heart thumped.
"But that wasn't the answer. Locking yourself away is never the answer. Despite how I hurt them, they still cared for me and helped me realize this."
"A-and they forgave you?" I said in a tiny voice.
"Yes. But more importantly, I forgave myself."
I squeezed my eyes shut.
"Candy, we all make mistakes," said Fluttershy. "Maybe that sounds trite, but it's true. I felt so bad when I hurt my friends. I was supposed to be an Element-bearer. I was supposed to be above such things. But it doesn't work that way."
I had no reply. Conflicting emotions spun like whirlwinds in my head. Chrysalis' words, Fluttershy's words ... what was true anymore?
I felt her wrap a foreleg around me. "Candy, I won't force you to reveal what's behind your pain. Just ... please promise me you won't lock yourself away from everypony else."
That was a promise I could not make, but I made it anyway. I nodded and said in a barely audible, quavering voice, "I p-promise."
Fluttershy pulled me into a hug, and for once I let myself believe that maybe I deserved it.
I rushed off to my room upon returning to the castle long enough to shed a few of the tears I had repressed in Fluttershy's presence. Even then, my emotions still ran on a ragged edge, raw and hurting like a wound that refused to close. Yet I had no time or energy for such sentiment. I had to get through the rest of the day and somehow keep my head screwed on straight. The morning had forced upon me one clear thought, however: maybe Chrysalis had been wrong about a few things.
I sat on my haunches on the bed. Aching body and heart compelled me to lean forward and rest my head on my folded fore-legs. I closed my eyes not to nap but to recapture that moment of clarity by replaying the meeting with Chrysalis before my mind's eye.
She had called me a scared little not-pony. Had I been too emotionally overwrought to think logically? Had I let her words sway me too easily? Yet even viewed in light of the burning memory of Rarity's tears, they still enticed me. Maybe I needed to take a step back.
My eyes snapped open at the sound of a knock at the door.
"Miss Swirl?" said a male voice from the hall. "May I speak with you for a moment?"
I raised my head. The voice sounded like it could be one of my guards. I trotted to the door and opened it, revealing an armored pegasus. He smiled and said, "Good day, Miss Swirl. Do you recognize me?"
He did look familiar, but I was unsure enough that I shook my head.
"My name is Strong Wing. I am one of the guards who was assigned to Queen Chrysalis last night when you met her on the balcony."
"Oh, um, yes, I think I remember," I said. Vaguely, anyway. Neither of her guards had spoken during that incident. However, I did remember the name. Twilight had mentioned him at breakfast. Something about chasing down the changeling that had tried to get into the castle.
"I would like to speak with you for a few moments, if that's okay?" asked Strong Wing.
I glanced past him and saw my own guards standing vigil as they always did, taking no exception to this pegasus' presence. "Um, sure, I guess so."
"May I come in?"
I nodded and stood aside. He stepped into the room, and I closed the door behind him. "Is something wrong?"
"Well, Miss Swirl, I wanted to apologize."
"Er ... come again?"
"For last night. For allowing Queen Chrysalis to upset you."
"Oh, um ..."
"Even though neither myself nor my fellow guards could hear what was being said, it was clear you were upset. Perhaps we should have been more adamant in our objections to leaving you alone with her."
In retrospect, I was surprised they had acquiesced to my request. Maybe it would have been better had they not. Either way, it was hardly his fault. I didn't need yet another pony suffering in some way because of me. "It's fine. I'm okay."
"At the very least, Miss Swirl, I could have warned you about her nature."
I tilted my head. "Her nature?"
Strong Wing nodded, and I blinked as I ...
~~~
... have no breath with which to scream. The horn jutting from the head of this horrid monster erupts in sickly green light which strikes my eyes. My already tortured mind offers little resistance ...
~~~
... caught a flicker of ...
Reality slowed, blurred, and re-coalesced.
"Queen Chrysalis tends to be a bit abrasive," said Strong Wing. "Perhaps a bit pushy and overbearing, and maybe engages in some hyperbole, but she usually has a very good point buried in her rhetoric."
Whatever had momentarily distracted me was gone, perhaps a figment of my emotional exhaustion. My initial protest vanished from my head, but I narrowed my eyes slightly and demanded, "How do you know this?"
"It's my duty to understand those whom I protect," said Strong Wing. "Or in this case, from whom I need to protect others. That's what I uncovered in my research about her."
I paused a long moment, my thoughts struggling like a swimmer against the tide. "But ... wh-why tell me this?"
Strong Wing smiled. "Just common courtesy, Miss Swirl. I would not want you to be put off by Queen Chrysalis' tone when her message could very well be of significant import to you."
When my mind had finally lurched back into gear, his words made some sense. Had I not just been thinking I needed to take a step back? Perhaps I had simply let Chrysalis' bombast threaten to obscure the message. I needed a way out, and I needed to give up the pendant; nothing had changed that. Chrysalis could still give me what--
Pain again flared behind my temples, and I rubbed a hoof against the side of my head. My heart raced suddenly, and the memory ... no, figment ... of green light flitted across my mental landscape. Slowly, I nodded. "Thank you, I appreciate you thinking of me. I have to admit, she did intimidate me a bit."
Strong Wing chuckled. "Yes, she does tend to do that. Princess Celestia can seem a little intimidating sometimes as well, but she simply has a more easy-going conversational style than Queen Chrysalis."
I smiled slightly. "That is very true."
"There is one last thing. Queen Chrysalis asked me to convey a message to you. She would be pleased if you were to grace the summit this afternoon with your presence."
My heart lurched. "But I thought she said she would give me a whole--!" I clamped my mouth shut.
"What shall I tell her, Miss Swirl?"
The headache was slow to abate, and my heart still pounded. I hated making a decision in this state, but what choice did I have?
"Miss Swirl?" Strong Wing prompted.
I sighed and lowered my hoof. "Tell her ... t-tell her I'll be there."
Strong Wing smiled and nodded. "She will be happy to hear that. Thank you for taking the time to listen to me, Miss Swirl." He started for the door. "I am glad I was able to help."
I simply nodded.
"I'll let myself out. Take care."
The door opened and closed, and he was gone.
Strong Wing's timely visit could help me focus better if I took his words to heart. That same heart still ached from how I had hurt Rarity, and how I had troubled Fluttershy, but all I had to do to lessen the sting was accept the guard's words. And yet ... Chrysalis had forced a deadline upon me. Perhaps that was for the best. The sooner I could remove myself from Equestria, the sooner I could stop hurting others and--
The sickly green glow permeated my thoughts again. My surroundings shimmered, as if incorporeal. Images flickered into brief coherence, only to escape discernment when I turned my mind's eye towards them. Until reality had recrystallized a moment later, I saw Michelle's apartment like in my--
I shook my head violently. The distractions needed to stop. I had a path forward, and I needed to follow it.
I just wished my head would stop hurting.
Not long after did I have another visitor. The relief which swept over me upon seeing Spike dissipated when Twilight stepped into view as well.
"Heya, Candy!" Spike called out, smiling.
"Hello, Candy," Twilight said in a more subdued voice, though the tiny smile that graced her muzzle seemed sincere.
"Um, hi," I said. I looked down at Spike. "Is it time for the tour you promised me?"
"Not quite," he said. "It's getting close to lunch, so there's not quite enough time for that, but there is just enough time for Twilight to take another look at your pendant."
"Oh."
"Then we can have lunch, and then I can take you on the tour!"
I should have expected this. Spike was Twilight's assistant, so naturally he had to defer to her wishes.
"This will not take long at all," said Twilight. "You can stay in the lab just like you did before. Feel free to ask me whatever you want about the process. You won't distract me, I can multitask well."
My heart thumped. Twilight might finally take my pendant away. Sure, one problem solved, but then I was still stuck in Equestria with these ponies knowing that I was an alien thanks to Chrysalis' threats.
Threats. Yes, Chrysalis had threatened me. Why did I not think that was significant? Well ... like Strong Wing had said ... all part of her abrasiveness ... but she had tried to bully me into ... no, I had to stop getting distracted!
My head twinged briefly again.
"If you do this for Twilight, I'll give you extra daffodils again with lunch!" said Spike.
"Again, Spike?" Twilight said with a small smirk.
"Ack! Not a second bribe! First bribe I ever gave her, I swear!"
I wished I didn't like Spike so much. "All right, I'll do it."
Twilight's smile became more natural. "Then just follow me."
"See ya in the dining hall afterward," Spike called out, waving as he left.
We proceeded into her lab in silence. It appeared more or less as it had before, save for the missing cushion on the floor. As soon as she had magicked the door closed behind us, however, she levitated a cushion into place, this time closer to the pedestal.
"If you would be so kind as to place your pendant here, please, Candy," Twilight said, nodding her head towards the pedestal.
I took a deep breath and did as she requested before sitting on the cushion.
Twilight lighted her horn. "So what I am attempting to do is check for lingering thaumic resonances that may tell me where in Equestria this was created. The magic field which permeates this world varies in power and texture depending on location, and the structure of the ley lines ..."
I let it all slide over my head. The technical details no longer mattered. As I watched her weave her spells, my thoughts reiterated Chrysalis' words: the Princess of Magic? An alicorn? Unable to perform such a simple magical feat?
"Twilight?" I asked.
"Mmm?" Twilight murmured as she levitated a piece of paper and quill into view.
"Is this fairly complex magic you're doing?"
Twilight scratched a note onto the paper. "Yes, actually. Trying to tease details like these out of the more overwhelming magical aura of the object is always a challenge."
I nodded slowly. My tail twitched. "But do you think you can do it?"
Her eyes narrowed on the pendant, the glow of her horn brightening as she jotted down another note. "I do believe I can, yes."
"So ... what about ... what about the binding magic?"
Twilight paused and turned her head towards me. "Come again?"
"The binding magic," I said a bit more forcefully. "That's complex, too, right?"
"Well, yes, but--"
"So I thought maybe you should be able to do that, too."
Twilight put down the paper and quill. "Candy, is there something else you want to ask me?"
What was prompting me to do this? Was I trying to make Twilight suspect I knew the truth? Or at least the truth as Chrysalis had presented it? "Um ... no, not really."
"I think there is."
I tensed for a moment. "All right, fine. Why can't you break the binding magic yourself on the pendant?"
"I told you, it would take a great deal of research and--"
"Yet you can cast the spells you're doing now like it's nothing!"
"We're talking about two different things."
"But you're the Princess of Magic! Aren't you powerful enough to do it?"
Twilight sighed. "I am not all-powerful. There are limits on what I can do. Everypony has limits."
"Even Princess Celestia?"
"Even her, yes."
"But she can move the sun!" I cried. "She can't do this?!"
Twilight trotted over to me. "Candy, what prompted this?"
I swallowed. "N-nothing, I just ..."
"Did somepony tell you I should be able to do this? Or that Princess Celestia could?"
"No," I snapped.
"Are you su--?"
"Yes, I'm sure!"
Twilight paused before she said in a soft voice, "Is there something you want to talk to me about?"
God, I was so fucking tired of hearing that question, or any number of its sickening variants. My pent up frustration and pain would surely explode if I tried to answer her. I refused to hurt anypony else before I could remove myself as their problem.
Twilight sat down next to me. "Candy, you need to understand, we're all here to help you."
I trembled and looked away.
"We all want to be your friends."
My ears flattened against my head.
"Have you at least given Rarity and Fluttershy a chance?"
I sighed. "Is that what they were summoned to do?"
Twilight paused. "Summoned?"
"Y-you heard what I said," I said in a quavering voice. "Were they summoned to do this by some ... s-some magical device?"
Twilight sighed. "You saw the Cutie Map."
"You mean that thing in the council room?" I said softly, but with a slight acid edge to my voice. "Yes."
"You're completely misinterpreting the situation."
I turned my head towards her. "How? Are you saying they weren't chosen somehow?"
"Yes, they were, but that doesn't make their feelings any less genuine towards you."
I just stared at her.
"It could have chosen any of us, and we all would have done the same for you," said Twilight. "And we're still all willing to help, even those of us who have not been chosen. You're not just some task to be completed, or a problem to be solved, Candy. Even when the Map decides Rarity and Fluttershy need to do something else, they're not going to simply wash their hooves of you. The Map is a catalyst for friendship, not a match-maker of the moment. Which also means it can't do everything. You have to be willing."
It all came back to me again. I had to take the next step. I had to bridge the gap.
Chrysalis had said they were all lying to me. Strong Wing said Chrysalis could go overboard. What of Chrysalis' words was I supposed to believe? Just the part about giving up the pendant? Or of going home? Or of not fitting in?
Did Twilight just blow her chance to help me with the pendant? She had to have that much power, either her or Celestia! This was a stupid fairy-tale world where magic solved everything! Or maybe friendship solved everything. Or maybe next they'll tell me something even more insane, that friendship is magic here.
Or Chrysalis was wrong ...
I closed my eyes, hoping for clarity again, but all that came to me was Rarity in the boutique, emotionally wounded from my rejection of her, and the concerned face of Fluttershy uttering those words that still echoed in my head: locking yourself away is never the answer.
Memory flickered in harsh clarity: the weeks after my mother's death and railing at how unfair and cruel it had been; the long weeks after Michelle's death and my endless self-recrimination at how I should have seen it, and the barely healing wounds of my mother's death reopened; my arrival in a strange land in an even stranger body knowing nothing of what to say or do. None of it had ever sent me into such depths of emotional turmoil. My psyche felt like it had been split, and the two sides played against each other.
I felt Twilight's hoof on my shoulder. "Maybe we should do this another day," she said softly. "I'm sorry I was so insistent."
I opened my eyes and blinked away tears. I nodded, my throat too tight for words. I rose and took the pendant back, letting the clasp close itself. It had paused, as if even it were reluctant now, sensing I had rejected it.
"Do you need me to tell Spike you can't--"
"No," I rasped. I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. "I ... I still want to have lunch with him and go on that tour. I could use the distraction."
Twilight nodded and stood. "The summit is not until three. If you need to talk to me, come find me. I'll be in the main hall preparing for the summit."
"Thank you," I said softly.
I thought I would need time alone to calm down, but the sight of Spike and his cheery disposition lightened my heart enough to keep the emotional tide at bay. I actually managed a small smile as he slid the tray before me, reminding me of the island of calm that lunch had been the day before amidst the ocean of turmoil and confusion.
The generous application of daffodils to my tray also helped.
He hopped into a chair opposite me, a tray of precious stones before him. "So how'd it go with Twilight? She find anything about the pendant?"
His tone and casual stance betrayed no indication he even suspected my near emotional breakdown. "It didn't go quite as well as it could have, no," I said in a soft voice.
"Aw, that's too bad. She was hoping to confirm that theory of hers."
I wondered if I might be able to wheedle out of him the bits of Twilight's theory that she wouldn't tell me, but I didn't need any more guilt. "She thought we could try again another time."
"She'll figure it out," said Spike with a smile as he popped a gem into his mouth. "She's a smart pony. Like you."
"Like ... um ... I'm not terribly smart, trust me."
"Aw, sure you are!"
"I really don't feel like it."
Spike waved a claw. "Eh, knowing lots of stuff is not the same."
I paused. "I beg your pardon?"
"Er ... what I mean is ... you can be smart, but not know a lot of facts. Ah, I don't mean you don't know a lot of facts, just that ... some ponies don't!"
I considered for a moment, chewing slowly on a piece of asparagus. "Well, I guess maybe I don't know as many things as most ponies. I was on my own for awhile, and I wasn't exactly going to school during that time."
"So, there, see?" said Spike. "Hardly your fault."
That was debatable. I did stay in school during my time following my mother's death, but my head was not there. A's and B's had fallen to D's and F's in the space of a single semester. After Michelle's death, education ceased to be a priority.
"Um, so," Spike said cautiously. "If I happen to mention anything you don't get, you can just ask me, okay?"
But why should I spoil it now? I needed to maintain the illusion for only a little longer. Then it simply wouldn't matter anymore.
If I went through with it.
I smiled faintly at Spike. "It's okay. Sometimes I just like to listen and not have to think all that much. That's all."
"Hey, no problem! Anyway, it would be a good idea to get lunch out of the way so we have time for that tour. You, um, still want to do that, right?"
"I do," I said. "I'm looking forward to it."
I wanted to go home. I didn't want to hurt anypony. I wanted to rid myself of the pendant.
No matter what I did, I couldn't have it all, even if I followed Chrysalis to the ends of Equestria. My thoughts ran in tumultuous circles, going nowhere useful, and I had no idea why. The summit hurtled at me from the rapidly closing window of time, robbing me of any further options.
Spike had hinted at breakfast that he wanted to take me somewhere. I had assumed it had to do with Chrysalis, but that theory was dead once Strong Wing conveyed the changeling queen's wishes to me. Maybe this would be what I needed to help clear my head and make the path obvious. It had to be.
It was my last chance.
Hmmm... The mystery deepens...
I really like this story, and will continue to read it, but are things going to start happening soon? It's been focusing on this struggle in Candy's head, and each chapter is only a fraction of a day. It just feels like it's going so slowly. You do make it interesting, though, so it's not too aggravating of a wait. Keep up the good work!
6970467
It's obvious she's mind-controlled, or rather, heavily suggestionated, perhaps memory-muddled too.
The thing is, it's a rush job, or at least the pressure to get her to give it up is. Hoping she'll be too emotionally distraught?
Still, there's confirmation on a couple of pieces of the puzzle, at least.
*gets out the bug spray and shot guns* One bug queen in need of being put down. Coming right up.
"Oh yeah! This is why you pay me, DEADPOOL THE BIG BUCKS!!!
And Pinkie in cake to break the fourth wall.
Most of it seems to be the queen's phrasing of Candy's situation with a dash of magic to give her words greater weight. The queen painted the situation a certain way. Its great legal work. Unless Candy can see it her own way the queen will win. Will the author be that brave?
Someone needs to put a muzzle on Chrysalis.
Was it really Strong Wing? I wonder...
Anyway, use of mind control (whatever form it took) confirmed, Damm that Chrysalis.
Ugh! I was so hoping that this chapter would go onto the summit!
You're really pushing the term of a Cliff Hanger.
troll.me/images/american-psycho/ive-had-enough-of-these-fucking-cliffhangers-thumb.jpg
And it's getting me more hyped.
Stahp!
6970733 With all the stories that shove inhibitor rings on ponies, you'd think the ponies would rather insist on something to inhibit Chrysalis' well-known mind-control powers.
6971037 Right? Though, I guess they aren't really canon, and that would be pretty insulting to a visiting dignitary. Still, someone should have maybe mentioned that to poor Candy
img.memecdn.com/i-amp-039-m-suck-her-k-and-i-amp-039-m-a-man_c_2729857.jpg
6971389 ...dats not a cliff so i am complaining.
nag nag nag
iz done
fact one : there was a second occupent in the room when her friend died
Fact two : her friends words were why are you doing this to me
Fact three : said occupent had access to magic of the color green
I'd say Chrissy is running like mad on barrowed time and she's panicking. Why else get angry at Discords interference and pushing the summit up and to ponyville?
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Yeah, it's possible I could have sped up the pacing a bit here. I'll keep that in mind for the remainder of the story. Rest assured, things are going to start coming to a conclusion for the Chrysalis plot in the next few chapters. Thanks for hanging in there
6972109
Thanks for the feedback. Yeah, I waffled a bit on that while I was editing that chapter. I think you're right on that one.
After the current plot is wrapped up, the story will be on a two-week break so I can work out the plot for the remainder of the story. I plan also to do some edits to the existing chapters based on all the feedback I've received thus far.
6970932
As a writer, I try to go with my strengths, and my strengths tend to be dialog rather than action sequences. That's why my stories tend to be dialog-heavy. I know that's not everyone's cup of tea, though.
Interesting comment about the pacing. Most of the feedback I got seemed to suggest the pacing needs to be a bit faster, at least in the later chapters. Perhaps you mean just the opening chapters?
6970944
I was actually trying to avoid being "edgy" but I suppose that may be in the eye of the beholder. If any other readers think this way, though, I'd certainly like to hear about it. I guess the upshot of this is that was not trying for edginess, but perhaps I did not quite succeed.
6972571
I'd say it's... medium-slowish? Personally, I find action sequences boring, because most everything that happens in them can really be skipped until the moment one person or the other wins the fight, but that's not necessarily the same as a slow pacing. Pace refers to how quickly events happen. These events don't necessarily need to be action scenes.
It's not exactly a rollercoaster ride of excitement in here, but personally, I think the plot is developing at a solid speed. Rachel is situationed, Chrysalis has shown up and made her gambit, the amulet has nearly been stolen twice and Discord has been revealed. That's checking off a solid number of plot points. Compared to some stories of this length I've seen, it's not really particularly extreme in either direction. I think it wouldn't hurt for it to have a bit of a side-plot going, to support the main character arc and loosen up the chain of events a bit, but that's just me.
6971363 Well, my comment was a subtle nod to the problem I'm finding with this fic: Chrysalis is pretty much permitted free range. There are no magical protections on the guards assigned to watch her, DESPITE everypony knowing the powers the changelings possess and despite her being the actual leader of an invasion. They're being trusting to the point of stupidity.
Though... considering Discord and now Starlight Glimmer... *sighs* Ponies are idiots. They clearly need me to lead them to world domination!
6972812
I think maybe you might have missed something in the story. They do have a safeguard in place, which is a means to detect when Chrysalis uses her mind-affecting magic. Yes, it appears Chrysalis has found a way around this, which is one of the unanswered questions in the story (which will be eventually answered).
Where FiM never revisited the whole changeling thing, at least as of end of fifth season (and I have not read the comics), a lot is left open to interpretation. I admit I made the decision that it was too difficult to stop Chrysalis from using her powers completely in order to allow for some of the intrigue that takes place in the story, but I tried not to make it such that they had NO safeguards in place, as I realized that would indeed be foolish of them.
I am willing to concede perhaps that was not enough. Though one thing I have been hinting at (though maybe not strongly enough; if so, my bad) that Twilight is having some issues herself over this.
That is admittedly one problem with a pure first-person POV narrative: trying to hint at background events without inventing contrivances for the protagonist overhearing every key bit of conversation.
Dammit. I hate your protagonist to the point I constantly want to strangle her... she's too real!
What's worse, I can relate to her all too well.
Do carry on. I love to hate this story. It's one of those 'drop everything! it updated!'
6972834 That's why I've always said, if you KILL the changelings first, then you don't have to worry about their powers!
THEN you can negotiate with them!
A perfectly modest proposal...
6973476
Thanks for pointing that out. That's an easy enough edit to make that I likely won't have to wait until the other larger planned edits. I'll do that later this evening when I'm home from the office.
6972944
I guess that's a "nice" kind of hate then
I did try to make Rachel as believable as possible, so any comments in that regard (including criticism) are welcome.
6973476
Just finished fixing this. I also noticed I had done the same thing in Chapter 15, so I fixed that as well.
Dammit Candy! Remember the cartoons of your past life! Sickly green is never a good color!
6972550 iz good so far i cant think of something to really nag about so has get like and follow
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What is "Mind Control", really?
When lawyers paint the facts in a certain way, to "help" you look at it from a new angle, is that not mind control? When politicians spin facts or outright lie to make you think the way they do, when police use various tactics to interrogate you and ply you for information, when a salesman makes you buy something you later regret, are those not mind control?
Humans instinctively balk at the thought of "Mind Control" because the brain is so poorly understood, and magic is seen as witchcraft. But in the end, it's no different from other ways to convince someone of something using any methods other than straightforward facts.
The way things are looking, I can almost picture the Flim-Flam brothers doing business selling a special item to protect from Chrysalis' mind control, personally certified by Discord to be even more effective than Twilight's precautions.
Sceptical pony: But it just looks like a paper bag.
Flim: Indeed. But this bag not only is just as good at protecting you from Changelings as Princess Twilight's own magic, if you get Queen Chrysalis to wear it on her head, you also don't have to look at her face! So in fact this 'paper bag', the stunning product of years of study, is outright superior to the magic of an alicorn princess! Discord himself guarantees it!
Needless to say, it's just a paper bag. ;-) And still apparently more effective if worn by a changeling queen than the protections they've set up for Rachel/Candy. If nothing else, you'd think they'd have told an amnesiac just why the changelings aren't popular in Equestria. Then again, maybe they just figure that if Candy didn't recall that she'd have asked for details. *shrugs*
6980913 So, when politician convince you, you usually get flash of light stopping you from considering new opinion?
6980992
You don't get a flash of light, but you do get other things stopping you from considering new opinion. Years of indoctrination, widespread propaganda, the politician's own charisma and forcefulness, ignorance of logical fallacies, etc.
Thing is, how are those things less despicable than a flash of light?
6981029 I don't follow your point.
We were talking about how Chrysalys was mind controlling or not our main character, not if it is possible to manipulate a crowd or if progpaganda is efficient.
Anyway, yes, Chrysalys obviously mind controlled or tempered with the main character's thinking process.
And yes, indoctrinate people to your view is despicable. It can even be associated with mind control. It just need far more time then what Chrysalys did.
And can be far more easlily countered with rational thinking.
6981058
This fandom has a tendency of going off the handle whenever magical mind control happens. For example, "Oh noes Twilight cast a spell that was basically mind control that episode bla bla bla." They act as if they've never seen anything more horrible in their lives.
But mind control magic is simply another method of weakening someone's mental resistance, for example getting someone drunk to get him/her to do something stupid. Sure it's bad, but it's not unique.
Basically, other methods of mind control aren't as despicable in your opinion, because you know how to resist it.
For beings who know magic and know how to resist it, mind control spells are the same.
6980727
That was kind of my point: that whole argument cuts both ways. They're not actually horses. There's no real reason for them to have a horse's sense of smell any more than there's a reason for them to have a horse's awful vision. They clearly don't in the show, after all. A lot of stories still do the whole "ponies just have superior senses because" thing, though.
6981454 You need to make a distinction. I never said more or less despictable. It is less shocking and certainly less efficient to indoctrinate.
Also keep in mind that mind control spell have a direct effect on the mind, same as using drugs. Talking is always indirect.
Finally, we don't know how well it is possible to defend against these spell. It might not be as easy as you seem to think.
6981997
You are correct in the distinction. I just don't like how the fandom on this site doesn't make that distinction. I can understand characters not making that distinction, but the commenting readers are often just as infuriating.
Con artists don't use magic, but they might as well be when dealing with rubes who aren't trained against their methods. It's different means to the same end.
6982071 you compared mind control to getting someone drunk to convince them to do something for you. That would be influencing, as they're doing with candy.
Mind CONTROL would be taking control of someone's mind not by subtle words or indirect influence, but by brute force. Getting someone drunk lowers their inhibitions, but you couldn't get someone to commit murder if that wasn't something they deep down wanted to do. Or, to use a better example, sleep with you if you're hitting on them. In this example, mind control would be using a roofie (is that the correct term?) To knock yen out and then proceed to rape them. One would be trying to lower inhibitions to get what you want, but can fail. The other is pure brute force.
In this story candy is being influenced, her memories muddled and her mind confused, in a moment of weakness no less. But she can still pull through, and would still refuse to hurt others if she could help out. Mind control was what Chrysalis did on the wedding with Shining Armor.
Both are despicable, but one is downright criminal.
And the thing about influencing with magic being different from with words, there's a difference. You can turn your back to words. It's difficult for they are insidious and messages are on the most inconspicuous places, but it can be done. Not so much with magic, either you have magic defense powers active or you're out of luck. Agency if the key here. Magic influencing would be like chaining you to a chair and forcing you to see and hear what you want, like the classical scene from Clockwork Orange. And that's quite more offensive than what happens in our society, usually.
6982355
My comments were prompted by commenters to this story saying what Chrysalis was doing was mind CONTROL, when as you've admitted it obviously wasn't. Consider the context of our discussion, please.
The thing with magic, is that the difference only applies to beings with no experience with magic. All ponies are canonically magical, even earth ponies. Therefore, mind control isn't something supernatural or diabolical to them, even though it is still violent and despicable. It's simply on the same level of despicable as someone breaking your nose with a fist.
6982429 Sorry, considering the amount of comments, that (Chsysalis using mind control) must have gone over my head.
But I still disagree on the mind control being no worse than "breaking you nose". You're assuming that since they are magical they all ponies automatically can resist mind control. If you consider even Shining Armor, a unicorn so powerful he could encase an entire city with a shield for days, was mind controlled, protection methods don't seem like something common enough for the everyday pony to consider it as someone punching you in the face.
6982494
If you're Joe Average and young Joe Frazier decided to punch you in the face, you wouldn't be able to put up much resistance either. Yet both of you have the same 2 arms and 2 legs. Ppl may consider it unfair, but they're not going to burn Frazier at the stake for being the devil incarnate.
I'm as average as that guy, I can punch as hard as he can. If he punches me I can punch back as hard as he can. But this is not the case, we're taking about some other capacity even those among the most powerful couldn't do jack shit about.
We're talking about psychic vampires who can control your mind, influence your emotions and drain the love in you. Taking agency from someone is taboo anywhere for a reason.
The thing about mundane influencing is that you have choice. If you're listening to someone, you choose to. It might be because you didn't know better, or because you couldn't make yourself do differently for your principles, but you did. Influencing as the changelings are doing to Candy has no such caveats. It's forced without choice or knowledge, suppressing the memory so she can't remember it happening, taking away her agency.
It's mindrape, and no amount of "buy a species unknown before a couple years ago can do it!" Is no excuse for it being akin to punching.
Now, playing the devil's advocate to my own argument, if you considered Lesson Zero...
I appear to be as clueless as Pinkie on this one. What does this phrase mean?
7351019
Lean means to influence/pressure someone in this context.
So that face hole I said I wanted to dig last chapter? Yeah... kinda digging one for myself. Freaking changling hypnosis, how did I let that slip past me?
6982563 The problem with your argument is that ponies don't show the capability to mind-control other ponies in the manner that changelings do, so no it's still not a fair comparison. It would be like a human fighting a Machamp. What we have been shown is a total subversion of a person's will, in most societies, this would be a criminal act, just as it appears to be in Equestria. Face it, the changelings are war-criminals. They attacked a sovereign nation without a declaration of war and then proceeded to pursue a terror campaign against the Equestrian populace.
This story is kinda painfully hard to read, she's just being an idiot but she's just a kid so.... gaaah its so frustrating
What a good segment. Gives me the feels.
Also, Candy and Spike's relationship is cute.
So current working theory is Starswirl the overly bearded dragon somehow got timeslurped into Earth, where he made the Amulet to protect those he sired on Earth, then some how returned to Earth. Rachel has been getting fucked over by the Changelings probably since before her mom's death, and they are using magic to make her misremember the past or to alter the past slightly... Hmm... Intriguing...
I really am getting tired of her wanting time to decide. I get that magic and trauma are involved, but everything would be crystal clear if she just told the truth. Her waffling about and listening to the evil bug just feels like she's dumb and stubborn.