The ⑨ Chronicles

by shinigamisparda

The Cause, and Solution, to All of Life's Problems

"Alright, tough guy. Dun make this too eashy for me!" the girl shouted as slammed her open palm on the ground, trying to crush Discord under it. He quickly teleported away, appearing in the air behind her.

“Cool your head, you drunk!” he yelled and summoned four fire hydrants as big as she was, surrounding her and blasting her with tidal wave amounts of water from all sides. The girl responded by raising her fist and slamming it into the ground, destroying the earth and sending the fire hydrants flying, before quickly firing a barrage magic blasts at Discord, which he dodged by either teleporting or floating out of the way.

“Heh, you like to run, huh?” she said as she shrank back to normal size. “Try runnin’ from thish! Anti-Dishpelling Black Hole!” The girl shrank down to normal size, but also summoned a void of black. Like water rushing down the drain, everything was being pulled into the void, the winds picking up as it did.

“Whoa Nelly” Applejack shouted as she and the others began to be pulled towards it. Twilight cast a barrier around them, keeping them from being from being pulled in. Discord wasn’t as lucky, and had to constantly teleport himself away to keep himself from being sucke towards them.

“ENOUGH OF THIS!” he shouted. In a flash he was wearing a baseball uniform and dashed at the void before sending it flying with a swing from a bat. “Thank me that doesn’t make sense, or that would’ve never wor-”

“SHUPRIZE ATTACK!” the girl shouted, grabbing him by the face before jumping up into the air and swinging her arm. As she did rocks began to gather around Discord before he was completely hidden under a boulder sized ball of rocked which she slammed into the the ground, shattering it. Discord groaned, holding his head as he stumbled.

“Twilight, now’s your chance!” Spike yelled.

“Huh? Oh, r-right!” she replied, too caught up in the fight to remember what they had came for. “Come on girls!” The six of them tapped into the jewels’ energies, floating in the aid and shining for a moment before firing the rainbow beam of magic at Discord.

“What!?” he exclaimed, noticing his body slowly turning back to stone. “No! NO! NOT AGA-!” he didn’t manage to finish before his body turned back into a statue, the rest of Equestria going back to normal from the shockwave of energy, before he fell over, motionless.

“We got ‘im! Praise Celestia, we got tha varmit!” Applejack cheered.

“HEY! WHADDYA DO THAT FOR!?” the girl drunkenly stumbled over to them. “I WASH HAVIN’ FUN!”

“Um… Well, I’m sorry but, we had to turn Equestria back to normal and defeat Discord,” Twilight tried to explain.

“Wait… wuz he like… a bad guy?” the girl asked.

“Um, yes?”

“And you beat ‘im.”

“That’s right.”

The girl then smiled widely. “Then ya know wut that meansh! FESTIVAAAAAAAAAL!” she shouted, pumping both arms up into the air before taking another long chug from her gourd.

“I like her!” Pinkie said.

“Pinkie, darling,” Rarity rolled her eyes.

“Aww, I like ya too, pink thing,” the girl said before stumbling over and hugging Pinkie.

“Yeah, hugs are nice,” Pinkie said, hugging her back.

“Well, I guess this isn’t so-” Rainbow began only for a golden flash to interrupt her. They all turned and were shocked to see that Princess Celestia had arrived, smiling at them in approval.

“Well done girls, you… you…” she trailed off, seeing the other girl, her eyes widening in absolute shock.

“Um, Princess Celest-” Twilight started.

“YOU!” the Princess shouted, cutting her off as she glared at the new arrival.

“Oh, hey Shelly! Wassup?” the girl slurred, only for Celestia to levitate her off the ground before slamming her back into it, then stepping on her chest to hold her down.

“HOW ARE YOU HERE!?” Celestia shouted.

“C-Celestia!? What are you doing!?” Twilight asked in shock.

The princess remembered she was in the presence of her student and subjects, wincing as they saw the fear on their faces. “I’m… I’m sorry you had to see that,” she apologized before her gaze turned harsh again. “Twilight, remember when Cirno arrived that I asked you to keep a close eye on her? To be wary of what she might do, what powers she might have? This is why,” she explained motioning to the girl she had pinned, who didn’t really seem to mind, though that may have been because she was too drunk.

“Her?”

“This is Suika Ibuki, an Oni, one of the ‘Four Devas of the Mountain’, as she calls herself. And somehow, she escaped from Tartarus after more than a millenia.”

“WHAT!? SHE ESCAPED FROM TARTARUS!?” Twilight asked in complete shock, the other ponies and Spike looking just as shocked.

“Tartarus? Is that some kind of toothpaste?” Cirno asked.

“Uh, no Cirno, it’s a prison. A very old, very secure prison,” she explained. “But wait, what did she do that was so bad to put her there?” Twilight asked.

“I HAD A FESHTIVAL!” Suika happily proclaimed.

“... Say wha?” Applejack asked.

“Twilight, the reason I wanted to watch Cirno so closely is because of what Suika taught me and my sister. It’s not the damage they cause when they’re trying to cause destruction that’s the problem, it’s the damage they cause when they aren’t trying that we need to worry about,” Celestia said.

“What exactly do you mean, Your Majesty?” Rarity asked.

“From what I can tell each of their kind has a specific power or aspect they have control over,” she began, pointing to Cirno and Suika. “Cirno has power over ice, Suika’s power is density.”

“‘Density?’ Is that how she got big?” Rainbow asked.

“And made that black hole vortex?” Twilight added.

“I can do more than that!” Suika exclaimed, and in the next moment dispersed into mist, freeing herself from Celestia’s grasp before becoming solid behind them. “TADA! Oh, and I can do thish!” Suddenly a group of tiny Suika’s, only about a foot tall, popped out of her body and began to do a conga line together, their creator soon following suit.

“Aww, that’s adorable!” Fluttershy squeed.

“There’s one more thing her aspect allows her control over: population density. She can gather and disperse crowds of ponies, and even have some influence over them. And that is what happened a millennia ago in Coltland,” Celestia continued. “Suika used her powers in the village and influenced the ponies there to have a festival that lasted an entire week.”

“That sounds fantastically awesome!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“YEAH, IT WUZ!” Suika cheered.

“NO, IT WASN’T!” Celestia bellowed, cutting them both off and causing everyone to flinch. “This festival happened near the end of the autumn harvest season, right before winter. Because of the weeklong festival, they ate and drank nearly all of their supplies! If it wasn’t for my sister and I donating as much food as we could they never would’ve made it through the winter! THEY WOULD’VE ALL STARVED!” she yelled at Suika.

The oni actually looked saddened by why she heard. “... I’m shorry. I didn’t mean to…”

Celestia sighed. “... I know. That’s why, even back then, Luna felt guilty that we imprisoned you in Tartarus. But it was the only prison that could hold you.” Her gaze turned harsh again. “But it doesn’t change the fact that you’re too dangerous to be allowed to roam as you please.”

“Princess Celestia, please wait!” Twilight interjected, stepping forward. “I know Suika caused problems in the past, but you were worried about Cirno as well. You yourself said that Suika wasn’t trying to cause problems, and you didn’t want to give her such a harsh punishment. Give her a chance her in Ponyville, like you did for Cirno.”

Celestia was actually stunned that her student was willing to speak out to such an extent. “Twilight-“ she began.

“Princess, Suika fought Discord. She told him stop what he was doing, and when he didn’t listen, she attacked him.”

Celestia blinked for a moment, processing what she had heard before turning to the oni. “Why would you do that?”

“Becaush he wash a bad host!” she replied. “He washn’t making sure everyone wash havin’ fun!”

“... You can’t be serious.”

Suika stomped her foot, shaking the ground and breaking the earth beneath her. “ONI’S DON’T LIE!” she shouted angrily before hiccuping.

Everypony recoiled a bit at her outburst, then Celestia sighed. “Alright, Twilight, I see your point. But I can’t have her stay with you, you have enough to handle as it is.”

“Ah’ll take her,” Applejack volunteered.

“AJ?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“It’d be swell ta have somepony else ta help out around the farm, ‘specially if Big Mac or Ah get hurt like what happened in Applebuck Season,” she explained as she walked over to Suika. “But Ah’m gonna tell ya now, if you wanna party hard, yer gonna have to work even harder, understand?”

“... Do I shtill get to drink?” Suika asked with a bleary eyed gaze.

“If yer done with yer work, you can drink as much as ya. Ah’ll even throw in some cider for ya, jus’ don’t let Applebloom have any.”

“Nah, I got my own,” the oni said as she uncorked her gourd. “Wash thish,” she said before tilting her head back and pouring the liquid into her mouth. The alcoholic beverage kept coming… and coming… and coming.

“Oh gracious,” Rarity muttered.

Suika finally stopped, swallowing the mouthful she had before cheering. “ENDLESS SAKE!”

“So, that’s why you wouldn’t let us take it from you,” Celestia said.

“Oh, and Shelly, I want that over thing back. You know, the black box thingy?”

Celestia sighed. “Fine. I’ll get it for you. Honestly, I’m surprised it lasted so long. On one condition: No. Festivals. Without. Permission.”

“AWWWWWWWWWWWW!” Suika whined.

“Promise me!”

“... Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.”

“Don’t worry, new party friend! I’ll make sure you have plenty of parties to keep us all happy!” Pinkie assured her with a hug.

Suika linked her arm around Pinkie’s neck, choking her as. “A like you,” she said, smiling as Pinkie’s face turned blue.

“This is going to take some getting used to,” Celestia muttered. Although I guess I should be happy it’s only her. I need to talk to Luna and Shining Armor, make some preparations for who’s no doubt coming next...

Author's Note:

YES! I MANAGED TO KEEP MY PROMISE AND RELEASE THE CHAPTER WITHIN THE WEEK!

I'm afraid this is gonna slow down a bit, as I need to figure out more shenanigans to happen is season 2, but I promise I already have some ideas in place. I appreciate your patience, everyone.

Comments

[mattchilly]

Celestia...threw...Suika...in...Tartarus...? Let's just hope Flandre doesn't appear I don't think Flan would like others being locked up like she was

[Viper Pit]

now we just need the maid to go to rarity

[Madara1442]

Why is it that whenever I see a drunk character, I'm thinking of the Demoman from Team Fortress 2?

8608459
Considering what happened to her when her sister Remilia locked her away for 495 years due to being young, emotionally unstable and having no control of her powers when she goes on a rampage. I Think she'll have a problem with Celestia for sealing, imprisoning or locking someone away.

[mattchilly]

8608493
agreed

[XYZDreadnought]

Here's a question... is she ever gonna be sober?

Just wondering if she has a sober personality, or is she that cheerful regardless of being drunk or not.

also, why did she stay in tartarus so long if she could escape that easily?

[Heidao]

Where there's one of the "Four Devas", the others aren't far behind

[Reishin Amara]

...wriggle meets CADENCE..."bugs bugs everywhere." Suddenly she's covered in changelings.

[shinigamisparda]

8608459 She got thrown in Tartarus because, even though her crimes weren't done with malicious intent, it was the only prison that could hold her. Did I not explain that well enough?

8608470 There's an idea.

8608564 I like to think Suika will only be different levels of drunk, from buzzed to plastered. In addition to her jolly personality, she actually gets stronger the more drunk she gets, so it's actually in her best interest to be wasted.

As for why she didn't get out of Tartarus until now, that will be explained later.

8608847 Another good idea.

[mattchilly]

8609143
you did but the reason i'm mad is all they had to to was talk to her and explain the situation. I'm just going to assume that they were still on edge after Discord or Tirek.

[Teslakana]

8609143
The only maid i can think of is Sakuya, and that's assuming I'm anywhere near close, as I know basically nothing about Touhou.
Like, at all.

[Whiskas]

All of my YES! More Touhous on this site please!

[The Slending Angel]

th fck

[XYZDreadnought]

8610285
Espetially Utsuho, Equestia isn't ready for Okuu, she is a living WMD.
I Now I can't help but wonder if she was the other idiot of the title.

[ifuckkids]

“Tartarus? Is that some kind of toothpaste?” Cirno asked.

....where have I heard that before...

cdn.wegotthiscovered.com/wp-content/uploads/stupei_iori_ace_defective_1-640x360.jpg

OOooh right this guy..

[shinigamisparda]

8700840
I couldn’t resist.

[ifuckkids]

>>shinigamisparda

I don't blame you Junpi is funny .

[Curtis Wildcat]

I've always had a sneaking suspicion that Suika and Applejack would get along great due to the whole 'oni don't lie' thing.

[GreyNimbus]

Here's something some of you might not know about Suika: She also has the power to make others unable to refuse her offering of sake.

[Junkoposter]

8701010
updoot pls

[LEGION55]

More please

[LEGION55]

Please continue

[The Radiance]

Shinigami, is this one dead?

[LEGION55]

More?

[LEGION55]

More?.....Please?

[LEGION55]

I have given you two spelling corrections please look at them.

[Viper Pit]

Hmm it's been almost a year shut we call it doctor's

[Teslakana]

9422904
Ah, I see.
Thanks anyways.

[Viper Pit]

I'm sorry to say that it's not looking good for the story

[shinigamisparda]

9469408
GAH! STOP! MY LIFE IS CRAZY AS IT IS! I WANT TO WRITE, I REALLY DO!

[Viper Pit]

9469682
Do you need help?

[shinigamisparda]

9469863
Yes, but not the type I think you mean.

Um... maybe? PM me.

[Viper Pit]

Just this song for the fight with discord

[Azuredart]

Alright, i can truly say, i love it. Character interactions were good, and you never lost the feeling that this was touhou, while never smothering the mlp tone. Whether or not this updates again, thank you for writing this.

[shinigamisparda]

9535799
It's coming back. Life just hates me. Thank you for the kind words. It gives me a reason to keep writing.

[Azuredart]

9536004
Great to hear. Although i wish i could help with the RL bits, that's never fun. And worry not, if you continue i shall more than likely annoyingly shower you with praise until you beg me to stop... or something like that.

[XYZDreadnought]

9534259
Not sure if you are still looking, but there is a lot of it on Fanfiction.net, I can recommend a few good ones if you like.

[Beanygrow15237]

I'm guessing that this story is abandoned

[shinigamisparda]

9828761
No, I'm a just a lazy/overworked/overly ambitious idiot.

[Beanygrow15237]

Ok thanks for answering

[LEGION55]

Again I have given you two spelling corrections please look at them :Edit make that Four.

[Andonexus13]

Who's next? Sakuya Izayoi?

[Painkiller]

I put off reading this one story for long time since I dont actually know anything about Touhou. I still dont but now I have read this. While I am bit disapointed you used elements instead of having Celestias fears about Cirno getting ground by having her to actually beat Discord by freezing him solid. One thing I would also like to see should you continue writing this any time soon is when shall Twilight withness her first Danmaku battle?

[shinigamisparda]

10054769
I actually hadn't thought about that, but now that you mention it I think I might bring it up in the next couple of chapters.

[Painkiller]

10055035
Something to look fowards to then. Although considering last chapter came little over 2 years ago... Then again at least you are still around to answer comments. Some dont do that with older stories.

What exacly did you not think about? You had Celestia explain Twilight (and me) Danmaku battling style so I assumed it would mean when battling actually starts she would be there as witness. While with Discord she was little late to join if it even counts since there was no declaration of challenge at any point. Just rage fuelled assault.

Made me wonder if Celestia has participated in one before and how would that even work on either end.

[LEGION55]

Any news?

[GrassOnTheOtherSide]

I didnt think slow down abit would mean more than 2 years

[zalgy-cake]

Will this come back I would like to see more

[sinewystatue382]

update it