The War Machine
Chapter 7: The Mare in the Moon Part 3
I pull the trigger and fire another slug at her.
She conjures a magical shield and the shot is deflected off it, I grab one of my flashbangs and pull the pin, I then charge at her and throw the flashbang in my hand at her face as it goes off, earning a scream of pain as Nightmare Moon is blinded by the light. I punch through the shield which shatters and hit her in the face again, but this time, she only moves back by a foot.
Her eyes open and she glares at me. "Not this time, foal," she says and blasts me point-blank with a large amount of magical energy, I'm lifted off the ground by two feet and fall back three metres. As I crash to the ground, I swiftly aim my shotgun at her and fire off a slug at her throat again.
She chokes for a few seconds as I fire my back jets and upright myself quickly. "You're really getting on my nerves you poor excuse for a warrior!" she yells at me and teleports away, my minimap detects her directly to my right, but I don't react in time as she kicks me hard with her hind legs.
I'm sent flying again and tumble across the ground a couple of metres, I get back up and try to find her. She's disappeared again, I detect her behind me and again she kicks me across the ground.
I get up and use my jets to lunge at her, I kick her in the chest and follow it up with an uppercut under her jaw, she flips backwards and fires a strong blast of magic at my head as she rights her self mid air, making me flip onto my chest.
"Is this the best you can do? I must say I'm disappointed," she tells me.
I get back up and face her. "Why do you want to make eternal night?" I ask her. Getting information out of her might prove useful, she also seems to be the type to boast and gloat, this can buy me some time.
"Oh? So it does speak. I just wish to destroy all life on the planet, do I really need a reason to do so?" she replies.
"I was told you're a parasite possessing Luna. Why her," I ask.
"My my, so curious," she says and starts circling me, I turn with her to keep her in my view. "I was originally going to take that peace loving alicorn Celestia and use her magic to increase the sun's rays, burning the planet to a crisp, but she always kept her guard up; I just couldn't find an opening..." she then giggles maliciously. "But her sister was such an easy target. Always laid back and relaxed, it was easy to sneak into her room and claim her body for myself," she tells me.
Processing... "Are you from this planet?" I ask her.
"Oh? You're the first to ask such a question. No, no I'm not, I arrived on a meteorite about one-thousand and twenty years ago. Now it's my turn to ask a question, what are you? I've never seen such a creature before with a hide made of metal," she replies and asks me.
Processing... Answer question to prolong distraction. "I am an artificial intelligence, a man made machine which can think and act for itself," I reply.
This seems to surprise her. "You were built? Intriguing, no such thing existed before I was banished, seems I missed out on a lot during the last thousand years. I wonder if I would be able to possess you or not?" she muses.
"Unlikely, due to the fact I have no biological components," I tell her. I run a scan on her and detect an insect like creature at the base of her neck attached to the spine under the muscle.
"Pity. Your body seems much more effective for battle than these ponies, these alicorns seem to be some of the few most powerful beings on the planet. I would've liked to keep this body when I leave, but it seems her magic is tied to this planet," she says and fires a bolt of magic without warning.
I raise my left hand and catch the bolt in my palm as the magic disperses around it.
"And what would you do once you've wiped all life off the planet," I ask and start circling her.
"What I have always done, find a way to leave the planet and hibernate on a meteorite until I land on the next planet to destroy," she tells me with a vicious grin, showing off her fangs.
I would rather kill her where she stands right now with how dangerous she is, but I gave my word I wouldn't until the end of the third day.
"And where is Celestia right now?" I ask her. She did tell me she would be sealed by Nightmare Moon.
"Oh you naughty thing, what makes you think I'd tell you that?" she purrs and laughs.
I turn my right shoulder to her and grip another flashbang with my left hand and pull the pin with my thumb. "It never hurts to ask," I reply.
"But it can. Ask somepony the wrong question and it could cost you your life!" she yells and lunges at me.
I toss the flashbang and aim my shotgun at her head and fire a slug right between her eyes, she screams as the bright light blinds her again and the slug makes her stumble back.
I holster my shotgun and pull out a tac-90 pistol and fire a single shot into her right upper foreleg, blood spurts out and she cries out in pain.
I fire another three shots at her legs, but she puts up another shield and the shots get deflected. I then fire a single missile from my left shoulder launcher at the base of her shield near the ground, she yells in surprise as her shield shatters and the explosion blows her back six metres.
"What manner of magic is this!?" she demands as she gets up, blinking her eyes so she can see again.
I don't answer and charge at her again while taking shots at her, she dodges a few while others graze her. She then teleports on top of a building and charges up her horn, Twilight and Celestia have done tests on my armour plating with their magic and apparently my titansteel plates can withstand up to twelve strong blasts from an alicorn before breaking under the pressure and heat.
She fires blast after blast of magic at me and I try my best to avoid them, I use my forearm plates to deflect those I can't avoid and the plates start to heat up from the magical energy. I activate my jet skates to make myself a harder to hit moving target, my sudden movement shocks her for a second before she resumes her assault as I fire the remainder of the magazine at her and she raises her shield again.
I need to get close to her again, I need to grab her horn and pin her down... Calculating... Forty percent chance of success, target's physical strength is greater than expected.
Sliding to a halt, I reload my pistol in just over a second and resume taking shots at her, she teleports across the town centre and onto another building. "Let's see how you handle my little pets!" she says and her horn glows.
Black shadow like creatures resembling ponies with silver eyes, bat-like wings, and fangs emerge out of the shadows between the buildings.
"Go my children! Tear it apart!" she orders them and I pull out my other pistol.
The shadow ponies screech out all together and fly right at me, I notice some of them also fly off into the Everfree Forest; now these I don't have to worry about killing.
I mark and track all targets and repeatedly fire shot after shot into their foreheads. They don't drop like I expected them to. Instead, they break apart like smoke in the air. I experiment and also fire a few missiles, killing small groups of them.
As I combat the shadow ponies, the guards she knocked out earlier try to ambush her, only to be torn apart as her mane and tail coil around them and rip their limbs off.
Two of the shadow ponies latch onto me and start to bite at my plating, warning signals flood my text system as they're slowly biting through the titansteel.
I grasp the head of the one on my left shoulder and crush it, it bursts into a mist and dissipates as the right one rips off my shoulder guard and tosses it away.
I manage to shrug it off to the ground and stomp on its head, it bursts and I resume firing into the others. I grab the last one by the throat and turn to Nightmare Moon and grip it hard.
The head pops off and then dissipates.
Nightmare Moon glares and snarls at me with a hateful expression. "Why won't you just die!?" she screams and I detect a large amount of energy gathering in her horn, alarms warn me to avoid it as it would rip through me easily.
She fires a large beam of superheated magic at me and I use my jet skates to dash to the right, but the beam was faster than I calculated and my left arm is melted off.
She smirks, but then looks stunned as I'm still standing.
She roars out in rage and turns into a blue mist and rushes right for me, I holster my remaining pistol and activate my taser. Probability of effecting target seventy-two percent.
She clashes into me and engulfs me completely, scanners indicate she's trying to get inside. I active my system defence and electricity covers my entire body, she screams in pain as she quickly gets away and reforms.
"Damn you!.." she says and snarls at me.
I detach what's left of my left arm and seal off the hydraulic fluid valves. I need to keep her focus on me, getting her even angrier will be effective. "That the best you got? I'm not impressed," I repeat what she told me.
She roars in anger and her horn glows again, I ready myself for another magical attack, but instead a black sword with tiny white diamonds along the blade making them look like stars appears in front of her. She swings the blade at me and I hold up my right arm and parry it with the plate.
Her eyes look almost feral as she rapidly swings the sword at me, sparks fly off as she repeatedly hits my armour plating over and over again.
I max out my processors, then reach out and grasp the blade in my hand mid swing. "Not even Celestia was this much trouble until she got her precious Elements! How are you still standing!" she demands and I pull the sword hard, breaking it free from her magical grip.
She glares so hard it's almost like she could melt my metal with it alone, she then suddenly gasps and looks towards the Everfree Forest. "Impossible! They were sealed away!" she yells and turns back into a mist before flying off into the Forest. I drop the sword and quickly activate my jet skates as I give chase.
My tracking systems keep track of her on my minimap and I charge my way through the foliage and small trees. Animals scatter as I bulldoze my way through, keeping up with Nightmare Moon. I notice a pony in a brown cloak and hood taking cover behind a tree along the way, but I ignore them and continue following my target.
An old derelict castle comes into view and Nightmare Moon flies above it and dives through the roof, I max out my jets and barrel through the wall where I see her thrusting her horn right at Twilight who is floating in the air wearing a golden tiara with a purple six pointed star gem in it.
I slide in between them and Nightmare Moon impales me through my lower back with her horn.
"Adam!" Twilight yells with panic in her tone.
Warning signals scream at me and I quickly grab her horn so she can't pull it back out.
"You!? Release me you insufferable creature!" she yells at me in rage and tries to pull her horn out.
I hold on but my system glitches slightly, making my grip loosen and that was all she needed to pull her horn out and wrap her left foreleg around my neck.
She pulls hard and I can hear the hydraulics and motors protesting from the force; if this keeps up, she'll rip my head off.
My self preservation directive then kicks in, forgive me Celestia. I raise my right arm and extend the blade and without hesitation, I cut her leg off.
She screams in pain and falls to the stone floor, I recover my balance and wrap my right arm around her neck this time and I use my weight to pin her down.
"Twilight! Use the Elements! I can't hold her for long!" I tell her.
"But you'll be hit as well!" she replies.
"Just do it!" I tell her.
I see tears run down her face as the light intensifies, after a few seconds of struggling to keep Nightmare Moon pinned down, a rainbow coloured beam of intense energy soars right at us and hits.
Nightmare Moon screams in agony as my systems start to malfunction.
Error. System wide malfunction detected. Core unstable.
Initiating core shutdown... Error. Shutdown subroutine corrupted.
Transmitting emergency evacuation signal... Error. Communications systems offline.
Attempting to vent remaining power... Error. Vent system damaged.
I can barely think anymore as my vision fades in and out with static, I faintly detect some new data flowing into me.
Downloading new data... Processing... New operating system detected. Core regaining stability.
Subroutines back online. Initiating forced shutdown procedures.
POV: Twilight Sparkle
Once the Elements finish and the light dies down, I see Adam on the floor and not moving; sparks flying off and hydraulic fluids leaking from him, it looks like he rolled over as a small blue alicorn with a light blue mane and tail is in his grasp. She's missing her left foreleg which is laying on the floor nearby, still unpurified.
I rush over and shake Adam. "Adam? Speak to me, Adam!" I yell at him. I can see a dim light in the hole in his back meaning his core is still intact.
The room lights up as the sun rises and Celestia appears in the room.
She looks around and spots us, she then gasps and gallops over. "Twilight!? What happened!?" she asks as she kneels down beside us and looks on in horror at the condition of both Adam and the alicorn.
"Sister..." she mutters quietly.
Celestia levitates her sister out of Adam's grip and I check him over, his left arm looks like it was melted off by some really powerful spell as the plating is warped around his shoulder joint. He's missing a few of his titansteel plates and the hole in his abdomen looks severe.
I don't know how we're going to get him out, and I don't think we'll get his Trailer here either.
6739825 Yeah Part 3 does use a bit of the show but with some twists in them.
Just two things:
It seems a bit redundant to have a sizable chunk of the chapter be identical to what happens in the show.
Do you mean their formation/ambush, or torn apart as if her mane and tail were Parasytes?
What a chapter! Though, Poor Adam! I hope he pulls through!
Other than that, really liking the story! Keep up the good work!
I'm loving the story so far. a bit of advice for editing, try reading it out loud, or even better, run it through Microsoft narrator. it makes it really easy to spot errors!
hmmmm... This is really getting me hyped, I havent been this hyped for something since "Human Blood". Good job.
I like how your making Adam, I look forward to the next one.
6739929 The guards ambushed her. But her mane and tail literally tear them apart. Her mane and tail acted like tendrils and ripped them limb from limb.
6739940 Hmmm. I'll give it a go.
Stuck with most of the original script, eh?
Good call, from the looks of it.
6739992 Yeah. I had trouble of figuring out how to make rainbow show her loyalty without the shadowbolts...
6739976
Ah. Then my only concern for this story is that stuff like that will be metaphorically swept under the rug.
Ponies will react very differently to Luna returning home if she had killed not only those ten, but whoever she did before she was banished. Then there's how the ponies as a whole would think of Celestia going to great lengths to keep her at the time murderous sister safe, willing to sacrifice who knows how many innocent lives for the selfish desire to keep her sister safe. Or the grief-stricken families of the guards trying to assassinate Luna.
All this is fine, just not if it somehow there are no repercussions for "Luna, who set the Spree Killing World Record."
6740000 Oh. She won't be a happy camper for awhile. But don't forget. In this story, Celestia said Luna was possessed, not taken by her own anger. And the Parasite isn't dead yet.
6740000
This version of Luna is at least ten to five times more successful than Marvel's Cinematic Ultron.
Great chapter can't wait for more from you
Geez! So, Luna gets a new metal leg and Adam got the Hammer of Dawn treatment. I can't wait to see how things go from here.
Oh that has gotta hurt for Luna. Still given the nature and brutality that they finally showed as a flashback later in the series this makes more sense that Nightmare would fight and Luna would get hurt. Though maybe Nightmare wouldn't have attacked if she wasn't first.
Well that was interesting, FIRE THE CANNONS, sorry just had to say that
So reading this and the second or third thing I'm noticing, sorry, is the editorial errors. Just wondering who does your proofreading or if you have anyone who does. This leads me to my next inquiry, would you like a volunteer proof-reader? I do my own writing and currently am an Editor for a couple other people, all of whom are quite happy with my results.
Other than that, if you don't require my services, I say good day and good story, quite engaging so far but like some other comments have said, don't focus on transcribing the original show into the story too much since it get's repetitive, believe me I know.
6740269 this is getting ridiculous!
don't you mean staching
I regret nothing
good book mate !!!!!
Up vote/devote is a perfect 10/1 good job
Also, Damn dude, some fast updates you have going on
man I love this story keep up the good work
Still good and a small amount of errors but they didn't change anything. I was wondering: Will Adam get upgrades?
So are we going to have a Luna with a robotic leg? That would be so cool.
I also I have two guesses for the new data that Adam downloaded during the blast. I think it's ether harmonious magic that he will be able to use, or The Nightmare got into his system and will be a problem later down the road.
Moony in his system?
Dayum, they're going to have a bad, bad time.
want moar
I love it to much
Did you just... Describe pretty much the entirety of the second part f the pilot? With little to no change?
Have you tried not doing that? I just scrolled through it till I found a sentence that wasn't describing it. Basically I scrolled til Adam appeared again.
And then Adam's system don goofed, turning him into a bomb, set to blow up when somebody says,"pony"
Great story though,pls don't die
"Why won't you just die!?"
ROBOTICS SON!
LUNA! YOUR LEG! NO!
You had better put that back on her or ELSE!
(I would settle for a badass mechanical replacement, but I'll be upset that you maimed Luna)
6739733
So it's okay to make shit up because it's a story? In that case, maybe I'll make a story where Hitler was right, but it's okay because it's just a story and anyone else's argument is invalid.
Okay, so just reading through the first chapter I've noticed quite a lot of homonyms you've used improperly. It isn't a huge deal, but, if not corrected, it will continue to happen.
Than/Then:
Than is used for a comparison, usually as a before or after or in a choice, as in "I'd rather have this, than that." You use then in mutiple instances in the chapter instead of than, the one example above being the first of many.
Then is used for sequences, as in "I'll do this first, then that." I haven't seen this misused yet (outside of replacing than), but there's that.
Ensure/Insure/Assure:
Ensure is what's used when you a guaranteeing something. An example would be: "You must ensure the public that this weapon will not fall into the hands of the enemy."
Insure is an action taken to guarantee compensation against losses. You insure your car, your house and your life, thus ensuring that you will be fine in the case of an accident.
Assure, while not used from where I am in the story, is something of a platitude. You assure that nothing will happen, which can be, occasionally be used in the place of ensure, however, it usually is used when there's no basis for the statement. "I can assure you that nothing bad will happen if we go into this house." It's usually used in conjunction with the thing being assured going wrong.
Finally, you have an issue with breaking apart sentences that should be together. An example of that would be this:
"Despite still being new to these emotions the doctor programmed me with. I believe the emotions I am currently feeling are anger and helplessness."
The first sentence, even if it's rather long, is a clause and cannot function on it's own. Just read it to yourself out loud and you'll see what I mean. To fix it, simply kill the period and replace it with a comma. That'll do it for that. There are other instances of similar stuff throughout the first chapter (and I'm guessing the rest of what's posted), but I am not an editor and haven't quite decided whether I enjoy the story or not.
That'll come later. Regardless, find somebody to help you find these and fix them (or do it yourself if you'd prefer).
6740147 Keep reading. Celestia explains how the sun and moon work.
6740251 I know but I needed to have the mane 6 show their virtues. I plan to steer away from the show now and only introduce characters later.
Hm, while I do enjoy the resolution and the affect Adam had on the story, I can't help but feel the retelling of Twilight's journey through the Everfree with her friends being mostly padding.
If there had been alterations in their journey like missing events or perhaps new ones, then I'd understand the need to retell it, however, it's nearly word-for-word exactly what happens within the episode itself. While it might be a good refresher for those who haven't seen it, it's a lot of content which could have been used better to enhance the pacing of the situation. While it's important to let the reader know that there are no changes or deviation in the journey compared to the episode, it would have been easier to show them doing a quick recap or remark of their adventure.
I'm liking this story so far, but one issue I'm having is that most of the chapter is transcribed from the show, so I ended up scrolling through most of this chapter.
6740847 Go for it. Sounds like the Turning Point Liberation game or Castle Wolfenstien.
6740930 Yeah. I plan to move away from the show now.
and now to play the waiting game, for the next chapter's
6740936
You're autistic, aren't you?
6740955 Possibly. But it hasn't been confirmed by any doctors. But I do have ADHD and Asperger's Syndrome if that makes you feels any better?
Well.... at least Luna wasn't killed.
Let's see if Celestia or anyone else can pull some magic off to re-attach the dismembered foreleg.
As for Adam... a new system got into him which mended the worst of his damages. Elements at work, or a Nightmare parasitic infestation?
Time will tell.
Me atm:
Processing stories written by Urimas Ebonheart: Stories found to be of high quality and to be interesting to read.
Processing Completion Rate of Stories: Scans indicate no completed stories, data is irrelevant to quality
Rating of Current story: Sensors indicate a 10/10 rating to be appropriate
6741042 Well the missile pods are just attachments and can be replaced with other things. The pad on his palms only act as tasers and not thrusters or beam guns. The core isn't self sufficient like Iron man's.
And don't forget. He was only armed minimally for his demonstration back on earth. He has the schematics for new and bigger stuff.
6741072 Thanks. But I do have 1 completed story so far. xD
6741085 well you may have the elder scrolls story set to completion technically, but the story as a whole is still unfinished imo until you finish battle for griffus
6741118 I see where you're getting at. I'd also like to point out twilight isn't a little filly here, she's about 17 when Adam appeared. She's 19 and a 1/2 in the latest chapter.
6741148 Yeah. I'm going to do one more chapter for this and then do another for that one. I haven't updated it in a while and it needs some love.
WHY! Why do people have to decide that Luna will suddenly use lethal force in attacking the guards?
Of course I know why. Cerberus Syndrome. We must make things darker and edgier or people won't take it seriously.
Canonically she just knocked them out.
That makes this Luna a murderer.
Also, recycling the episode is seriously lazy writing.