Seems rushed, and has quite a few grammatical errors.

BUWHAHAHA, PIC IS SOOOO FUNNY! LOLOLOL

Be careful when commenting on this guy's stories. He's a master in the art of trolling.

*whips out handgun and shoots self*

What... The fuck?

media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m50gelf3kB1qj3ir1.gif

What is it that bad????????

697802
No just....few gram errors thats all

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m50gelf3kB1qj3ir1.gif
I agree with TallyHo (even though i pissed myself with laughter)

that is all

the picture really say it all

697802 I'll be honest, it was very bad when it comes to spelling, grammer, all the editing. I mean it was really random, and why the fuck am I even commonting? I hate Troll fics, but yes, you have a lot of work you need to get down re-doing this story. Best part was the Spike/Twilight and Rainbow Dash sex though.

738978 I'll get my fag Friends to redo it for me!!!!!!!!!!!!

745355 Sorry bro, but I'm just telling it like it is...or needs to be said. Work on it a bit and then have the rest of us re-read it if you will.

Do you want me to make another chapter????

go ahead

fairerplatform.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/jackie-chan-what-the-fuck.jpg
What...the...Fuck?
But i have to admit that was a good laugh!
You should make another chapter good sir.

Yes, I do believe this covered all the bases.