• Member Since 19th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen Mar 19th, 2023

Redric Carrun


I really need to get a better one of these. I'll get around to that... sometime.

T

Twilight Sparkle hasn't been seen around town lately. She's sent Spike to stay with Rarity for a while, and shut herself up in her castle. Nopony knows when she'll be back.

She's been looking at some old books. Very old. Very dangerous. She might be in over her head.

Pinkie Pie goes to visit her.

It'll all turn out alright.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 33 )

Come on, Twilight. What's there to be scared of when Pinkie's around?

Pinkie. Pinkie's there to be scared of when Pinkie's around.

Luna's not used to being the second most knowledgeable in the room when it comes to Eldritch creatures.

Second most knowledgeable pony, anyway.

That... is beautiful.
Excellent work, dude

6777909
Thanks! Glad you liked it. I certainly enjoyed writing it.

I am amazed by this story you have a great writing talent

6779847
6779911
Thanks! Glad you liked it.

6779907
What? I don't think I understand.

Nice I always have liked stories that paired PInkie with the great old ones and the like. Some even have her being like one (though quite clearly a benevolent force of crazy).

I really like this!!!

Pinkie makes everything better with her happiness

Poor Azathoth, eldest of the Great ones. Especially if he's dumb enough to take on Pinkie Pie.

Cthulhu is a bad-touch master in comparison

Fear, O' fear! The eldest of Eldritch has come from there to now and shan't be unheard by the less yearning eyes of the ignorant!
Clutch to sanity in its current brevity and travel in silence the path lain forth by the ones before our time's first day, but relinquish not your fear!

I really like this. You must've just gotten a tough crowd, or people unfamiliar with eldritch horrors—this doesn't deserve that dislike to like ratio.

You really don't need those tags. Dark? Nope; happy ending with a cliffhanger that could go either way. Sex? None at all. Implied means a 'fade to black' scene, and there's none of that here. So it's out of place. Gore? Again, none to speak of. And implied would be something like someone's face getting bashed in, but the blood not being directly spoken of. The horror tag actually does make sense. To end, I think you made the right choice of age rating, but you probably could've gotten away with an E as well.

To summarize: this wasn't really dark. Like, at all. It's not even in the 'mildly dark' category—trust me on this, I read a lot. I do love it though, it got a favorite.

8330458
8330483

I'm glad you liked it!

I think I made several mistakes on how I presented this story. Like you say, the tags are misleading, and that probably has a lot to do with the poor reception of the story. I think I will change that shortly. If I remember correctly, at the time I posted this, there wasn't even a tag for Horror, but I can't remember clearly - in general, I think I was too sensitive about things. I also did less editing of this story than my others, writing it all in one go and uploading it in the heat of the moment, so it might benefit from some reworking. Plus, although it has four chapters, it was uploaded all in one go, which meant that there would be no chance of recovering from an initial negative reception.

Thanks for the critique. It helps to hear how I can improve.

The Eldest One would devour all.

And then Alondro, the One So Old Age Doesn't Even Apply, popped in beside the Eldest Old Fart. "Unwise," is all the Troll Lord said, before leaving again to torment Twitter.

The Eldest needed to spend some ages cleaning up after soiling itself in abject terror across several spatial infolds.

:trollestia:

Ah. Well, it explains a lot about Pinkie if she's an Eldritch Horror, or has experience with one.

We would all do well to respect the Pink One.

Pinkie Pie is an eldrich horror done right.

I love this story, and I really hope it was more known.

:pinkiecrazy: Theres nothing to fear but fear itself. :pinkiecrazy:

Nice! Though most of the stories impact and weight was in the first chapter. I almost feel like it would have been better off cutting the story there and leaving things ambiguous and up to the readers imagination as to what degree Pinkie Pie is an eldritch horror herself, but still a good story! :pinkiehappy:

“Hmm.” Pinkie smiled. “So, you're working on something involving more and more dimensions? Ooh! I think I read a comic about that once.” She looked around at the wall with the illustrated books. “I'll bet it's around here somewhere. Do you want to take a look at it?”

Star vs The Forces of Evil?

I liked it.
I can see Pinkie heading the Elements of Harmony, instead of Twilight for once, and vanquishing the Eldest. There are heroes; and then there are those who can be more than just heroes.

Love how you built up the mounting horror. Pinkie amused me, but, um, what is she?

Chapter titles... What's wrong with them?.. Hum, clearly they quote Pinkie's song... Oh!.. And this is where the title drops in!.. Ingenious!

Initially I thought, it was brilliant. But this doesn't look like a happy ending. Is Equestria doomed?..

Oh my. Horror indeed :twilightoops:...

I just reread the author's note again, and realized...

I wonder what "2Evul4U" sounds like in Elder speech?

Login or register to comment