Serious Sam: The equestrian encounter

by marielity

Chapter 3 - A serious arsenal

Chapter 3 – A serious arsenal

„You better explain fast. I feel trigger-happy today“.

Sam was pissed of. It has been a week since he managed to invade planet Sirius, the homeplanet of Mental, his great archnemesis. After fighting almost half of the planet he finally managed to reach his base; just to find out he escaped.

Taking one of Mentals Ships, Sam tried to catch up with him, but he soon lost track.

Returning to the sirian council he brought back the medailon of power, the only thing that was able to make Mental vulnerable...or at least that's what the council told him before, sending him into a conquest for searching all parts of the medailon. Handing the medailon over the three small sirians seemed to be quite annoyed and took the medailon, accidently showing that they had dozens of them. He punished them (kicking their butts a few times) and went on his search for Mental.

His only chance was to rely on his computer assistant Netricsa, a nano computer in Sam's head which served as a analyser, mapper, guide and friend, even developing it's own personality, and the new spaceship.

Or that the sirians came up with a new idea, he thought, feeling magical powers drawing him once again.

He was prepared for a new plan to chase and defeat mental (or kicking the sirians around again) but instead of meeting his well known allies, he found himself pulled away from his spaceship to meet...

„Ponys!“ Sam exclaimed,“talking ponys! Another thing on my list of 'things I thought they didn't existed but do'. To bad I forgot my eraser at home.“

Twilight Sparkle hesitated before asking:“Are you...the one?“

Sam fixed his eye's on the lavender colored unicorn in front of him:“Just call me Sam. And I'm still waiting for an answer.“ He moved his pistol closer to her face.

Instead of backing away, Twilight got a bit curious and examined the strange object in front of her.“What is this thing? Is it some kind of flashlight?“

Sam nodded:“Kinda.“ He pointed at a rock on the ground nearby.“See this rock?“

„Yeah?“

Sam's finger moved like usual. A loud bang filled the air, and the rock scattered to small pieces.

„Quite enlightening,“ Sam said with an ironical smile,“maybe you are more talkative then this rock and start explaining.“ He pointed the gun at Twilight again, who obviously became more nervous.

„We...we...need help,“ Twilight stummered.

Sam looked at her closely.“Is that all?“

Intimitated by the gun in front of her, Twilight couldn't bring out any words.

„Please Mr. Stone, calm down,“ a voice called.

Sam looked into the entrance hall and saw two more ponys...no...horses. A white one and a black one, both winged and equipped with a shining mane and a crown. They also had horns on their heads.

„There must be a hive around here,“ Sam said loudly,“more and more horses and ponys in all colors. Or is this the fantasy section of Disney land?“

Celestia raised herself from the cushions she laid on, but she was still too weak to stand and dropped again.“Please Mr. Stone. Come closer. We will explain. And don't fear...we mean no harm.“

Sam stared at the white alicorn, then put his pistol back to his belt.“Fine. Let's talk“.

„That's just too familar to me,“ Sam said after the alicorns explained everything that happened.“That's definetly Mental's hordes you encountered.“

„Who is this Mental?, Luna asked suspciciously.

Sam scratched his chin.“Hard to explain. I actually never met him before, just his troops. Let's say he is some maniac who wants to rule the universe. He has an endless army of different monsters and species serving as his weapons. He also possesses great magical power and controls the highest known technology in the universe.“

„But what does he want from us?“ Twilight asked. She became more confidant since Sam put the weapon back to his belt.

„He just wants to destroy your world,“ Sam said, shrugging his shoulders,“nothing personal. That's just his style.“

„But why now?“ Celestia wondered,“was it because of our travel to the new world?“

„You can bet on it.“ Sam barled his teeth.“You used some powerful and old magic and I bet Mental and his hordes felt that. He kills all beings that might become a threat for him in the future.“

Celestia looked on the floor.“So it was our fault.“

Sam felt sympathy for the alicorn princess.“It's not your fault to make use of old knowledge. Sooner or later he would have attacked anyway.“

„Maybe“ Celestia said, tears in her eyes,“but there is nothing we can do to stop those who are endangering our very lives now.“

„Hey hey,“ Sam conforted her,“calm down there. You still got me, hum?“

„But how do ya want to defeat those monsta's out there?“, Applejack asked doubting.

A big smile crossed Sam's face.“Just like I always do“. His hand made a fist.“I'll be serious!“

Sam's hand snapped back just in time to grab Rainbow Dash's hoof which reached for one of his two pistols in his belt after sneaking on him like a cat.“Are yo tired of living?“

Rainbow Dash tried to free herself from Sam's grip, but was too weak against him:“Don't talk so big about being serious and stuff. We want to fight too. If we had weapons like these we could fight back.“

„You couldn't even use weapons like these with your hooves,“ Sam shouted at her, waving around with Rainbow Dash's hoof,“you couldn't even fire them.“

Rainbow Dash didn't answer. Sam let go of her hoof and turned for Celestia again.“So...where are they?“

She just wanted to answer, when the earth started shaking from explosions. Sam heard the familar sounds from far away.

„Okay...before I take care of them there are some rules.“ Sam folded his arms in front of Celestia.

Sam looked at Twilight's friends. „First. Never get in front of my guns. You'll end up like mr. rock outside.“ They nodded.

Then he looked at Rainbow Dash.„Second. Never touch my weapons. You'll end up like mr. rock outside.“ She just snorted angrily and looked away.

Then Sam faced the two royal princesses.„Third. I help you, and you'll help me get back where I came from. Or we will all end up like mr. rock outside. Deal?

„Deal“, the royal sisters said simultanious.

„Okay then. Rule number four.“ Sam turned for the entrance.“Everyone pointing a weapon on me is automaticly declared as mr. Rock.“ Sam drew his two pistols.“Let's rock!“

He ran outside and headed down the street in front of him followed by Twilight and her friends.

„Wait Sam!“, Twilight shouted.

„I can't wait to give those alien motherfuckers a welcome party“ Sam answered.

„Yeah. I love partys“, Pinkie shouted.“Too bad we are heading the wrong way to meet them.“

Sam stopped abdruptly and turned around.“Why didn't you tell me sooner?“

„I just wanted to,“ Twilight answered,“but you are too fast. We need to take this way. Follow us.“

Sam followed the six ponys through several streets and passing several buildings. While running he looked up and saw a purple forcefield.

„So this is the forcefield that protects the city?“ he asked Twilight.

„Yes. My brother Shining armor built it up.“

„Hm...neat“, Sam said as he saw several rockets hitting the forcefield with no effect.

They soon reached the front gate. As they came closer to the edge of the forcefield, Sam could already see the masses in front of him. He saw hundreds of beheaded soldiers and orcs in powerarmors forming lines near the bridges leading to Canterlot. On the plains stood several blue mechanoids shooting blue lasers at the forcefield, flanking two red mechanoids firing missiles. Several kleers and some sirian werebulls roamed the plains in search for enemy beings to tear up.

Sam and the ponys stopped.

„Okay. Here is the plan,“ Sam said, looking at the six ponys.“I go out, while you prepare a victory party for me. I kill them all and return and have a nice meal. Any questions?“

They all raised their hooves.

„We want to deal with those ruffians as well“, Rarity said.“We cannot let them have their way.“

„And how you wanna do this,“ Sam snapped,“cudle them? Wink with your big eyes until the fall asleep?“

Before anyone could answer Sam heard another familar sound nearby. The ponys gasped. Sam smiled.“Looks like the sirians made it just in time.

In front of them suddenly layed several weapons on the floor. All to familar to Sam the ponys took a close look at those strange instruments.

Sam picked up a few weapons investigating them. Something was different about his weapons.

„What the hell?“ he exclaimed.

„Is something wrong?“ Twilight asked.

„They must be kidding“. Pointing at some of the weapons he said:“ These weapons are modified. The triggers are bigger then usual.“ He looked grimly at the ponys.

„Wait a second,“ Rainbow Dash said,“Does this mean...?“

„Yes, it does.“ Sam said and tossed the weapon he hold to Rainbow Dash. She catched it up without problems.

„There are several weapons here which should be fireable with hooves,“ Sam said annoyed.“Seems like you'll get your fight. Let me show you how to handle them.“

It didn't take long to explain and soon everypony was equipped with a weapon that fit them best. Except Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle.

„I can't hurt them, mr. Stone,“ Fluttershy said shily.

„So you want them to destroy your world?“, Sam said angrily.

„Of c...of course not,“ Fluttershy whispered,“but...“ Something catched her eye.“Oh...what is this?“

Sam turned around.“Ah this“. Sam reached for a green parrot, wearing a small serious bomb around its neck.“ That's one of my friends. He is friendly but can become quite explosive. His name is clawdovic.“

„Oh poor boy“, Fluttershy said while taking the parrot on her shoulder.“ Let me take care of you.“

Sam sighted.“And you Twilight?“

„I really am not into those weapons“, she said eyeing the weapons her friends are carrying.“I prefer using my magic.“

„Well it's up to you“. Sam shrugged his shoulders then turned for the other ponys. Rainbow Dash was equipped with a laser rifle, a fast shooting weapon firing green lasers from its four barrels. Applejack was carrying a grenade launcher and a single barrel shotgun in her holster. Pinkie Pie was equipped with a big black cannon. Looking like from old pirate movies this weapon was one of the strongest weapons in Sam's arsenal. The cannonballs could easily destroy whole lines of enemys and devestate even the biggest monsters. Rarity was carrying a sniper rifle. The green parrot clawdovic sat on Fluttershy's back. Some weapons were still lying near the gate, which haven't been picked up yet.

„Okay,“ Sam said,“time for tactics. I see no flying opponents at the moment but in case they show up, I leave it to you Rainbow. You Applejack take out smaller groups of enemys and medium sized targets. In case they come too close to you you can use your shotgut. Never use explosives in melee. Pinkie, stay here on the bridge and play bowling with every masses or big ones that try to reach the gates. Be careful with the cannon. Since Rarity doesn't want get messy you use your sniper rifle on medium sized targets and flying units from the distance. Fluttershy will stay close to you in case enemys show up here. And Twilight...“Sam looked at her, scratching his chin,“just do what you want, but be careful. Any questions?“

No one said a word.

“Okay then,“ Sam continued, turning for the battlefield in front of them,“lets kick some ass!“

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Added some drawing. Chapter 4 is still in progress, but will be finished this weekend. I'll also add a picture with each chapter (not very good drawing but only training can bring improvement :) )

Comments

[PoisonSt]

added to read later list. I was kinda expecting that fic

[marielity]

680420

Sam is from the game series called "Serious Sam", an ego shooter made by croteam. The most popular games, dealing with the main story are:

Serious Sam: First encounter
Serious Sam: Second encounter
Serious Sam 2
Serious Sam BFE (Before first encounter)

[lordalexander74]

This story's worth a shot, tag for later reading.
Also Serious Sam is an FPS that's very similar to Duke Nukem. Testerone fueled male protagonist who loves to murder aliens.

[Disconected]

Doom Fanfic: check.
Serious Sam Fanfic: check.
Duke Nukem Fanfic: ???

[Moon_Dew]

Faved. Because? Ponies meet Sam "Serious" Stone. Who needs any other reason?

[Jack Kellar]

I believe whoever's interested in Serious Sam would know what his weapons are like. No need for that info dump, bud.