• Member Since 4th May, 2015
  • offline last seen Monday

The Warmaster


Trying to keep up the motivation to write, and am trying to focus my attentions

T

(Displaced story. If you dislike them, then leave.)

"A thief might sneak into a town to steal an item. A Piraka burns down the whole town to find what he wants." Bionicle Legends, volume #4: Legacy of Evil

After a freak Comicon incedent, me and my five friends got sent into Equestria as every Matoran's worst nightmare. Besides the Makuta. No, not a Rahkshi either. ....Bohrok? Really? Enough guesses! We are the Piraka, the bane of Celestia's existence, and greatest thieves in Equestria!
And they can't do anything to stop us. Well, maybe they can turn us to stone. But we have a plan for that.

Btw, if you don't know what any of those things mentioned above are, here's the info you need.
Matoran are civilians like a regular human being. Makuta are Bionicle's main villain group, and are assholes.
Rahkshi are the sons of Makuta, and are robots piloted by a slug creature called Kraata.
Bohrok are robots controlled by a mask like creature called a Krana. They are only meant to clean. All life, all trees, all rocks, and everything else on the Island of Mata Nui when he reawakened. They are assholes too.

Chapters (18)
Comments ( 87 )

NATURALLY you have everything undercontrol.

First, Instant fav.

Second: They must meet the band of misfits that should get approved soon

Third: mur!

6517607

I do have it under control. I'm also researching The Piraka, as well as their species, since most of my once expansive knowledge of every bionicle made from 2000 to 2010 has decayed over time

6517612

First: Yay for favs!
Second: sure! At some point. First they got to meet with eachother.

Third: of course there will be more!

The Piraka always were my favorite bionicle villains. . . after Roodaka of course.:heart:

*nods* i know your pain... *thinks about time with no Bionicle*

6517716 I had three options for this story. First

Option A: The Piraka.
Option B: The Barraki.
And option C: The Makuta from 2008.

Comment posted by The Warmaster deleted Oct 12th, 2015

Rainbow Dash, you are far by the most stupidest pony in history! I will not even hesitate to smash your skull with my Thunder Hammer!

6517716 oh yeah, and a little thing I forgot about... Luna has the ability to see their nightmares.... so, pop quiz.

What do all Skakdi fear the most?

6520570 lol I thought it was a chain chronicle fic at first thought you misspelled Pirikia's name

Comment posted by The Warmaster deleted Oct 13th, 2015

6521122 Pirikia is the hero's fairy sprite companian in the app game chain chronicle:ajbemused:

6521518 she' a a little odd I guess if you combine pinkie's personality with Jughead's appetite you get a good idea

Okay... While I like this concept, you gotta slow down. We barely know anything about these guys, and now they've already gone from 'friends hanging out' to complete psycopathic nutjobs with no morals, with no explanation. All in three chapters. Try to slow it down, give more reasoning for what they're doing and why these people who have been friends for a while (as indicated) are suddenly calling each other by the names of their costumes and not the names they already knew each other by (did they use the names of the piraka as nicknames for each other on Earth? If not then gimme some reason for them suddenly getting a personality bleach in trade for being piraka cutouts). It's one thing to use a Piraka's name, but a completely different beast to live up to it.

Slow down with the action and give the main characters some substance. Peeps need a reason to care about these guys, and cardboard is difficult to keep interest in.

Like I said, I like the concept of this story. You get my attention from the fact that it's Bionicle and a Displaced story with decent/good grammar, now give me a reason to stick around.

Hmmm, I wonder what happened to the Piraka. Perhaps they'll become heroes due to the Elements of Harmony showing them the 'right way'?

...NAHHH!!!

6524257

Due to that, I'm almost, almost tempted to use the mask system from Bionicle Heroes.



......Naaaaaahhhh

6524651 PC, GBA, or DS version? Because the DS version sucks.

6525052 PC. It's also available on Xbox 360 apparently.

6566806

Sweet Skakdi gods, your pic made me burst out in laughter. That is so randomly funny, especially with your comment. Have a thumbs up

6615901 You don't know the half of it.
Let's see... from the top of my head, I can think of two possible things.
They turn good, and help Equestria grow.
Or, they remain Piraka and become pirates. I just realized that Piraka and Pirate start with the same four letters.

I need a drink. A very strong one for the shit so or, I think we are about to have.

6615944 Just one? I'd start with about fifty, and go from there.

Comment posted by The Warmaster deleted Nov 9th, 2015

Oh, boy, a long description full of terms just thrown out there like everybody's supposed to know exactly what they mean!

puu.sh/if6pE.png

6621861 Where would this description be located?

If it's in the authors notes, then I will explain later, in the next chapter, or on a blog

6621880

No, I'm talking about the story description itself. Matoran? Makuta? Rahkshi? Bohrok? Piraka? What even are these things?

You're basically alienating me and anybody else who isn't intimately familiar with Bionicle, and considering that this is a MLP fanfiction website and not a Bionicle fanfiction website, I think it's fairly safe to assume that those people are the vast majority.

6621920

There, I added a quick description for each.
I honestly didn't expect anyone except Bionicle Bronies to read this, so that's why I did what I did

6621953

Dammit, stop being nice and let me flame you

I sense a flame war. I want in. Let me know when the next one starts up.

6624205 Don't worry. I will. Though, I hear that there's some guy named SA Starla who likes to say Autistic in every sentence while making a shitty hate review lurking around, so there's that!

Poor rarity. I wonder if the Piraka have noticed that they have been turned into part Toa?

6566806 Your comment combined with your profile pic makes for an interesting image in my head. Which then males me burst into laughter.

It's good but not great. The reason why is because it's short.

Ok, so this happened. I am actually happy that they don't plan to take over the world. They are robbers, not overlords.

YAY for TRUE business man! And by TRUE BUSINESS MEN, I mean the kind that sets up a double fronted weapons and ammo shop right next to a battle field. A true business man does not care about your political bent, he just cares about if what your paying him with is legal tender.

i predict chaos. pure chaos.:pinkiehappy:

About right for tia! Trust the sugar worded enemies against the enemies that are only jerks and complain about the enemies when the "friends" finally show their true colors.

Hewkii, Toa of Earth, Kongu, Toa of Air, Matoro, Toa of Ice, and Nuparu, Toa of Earth.

Was that a mistake? There can be only two, not three!

well then... evil jaller and team are deffinitely a thing.... not looking forward to the results of this.

Comment posted by M3T4KN1GHT deleted Jul 1st, 2016
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