Deep within the Warp……
“Hm…..” The Emperor sighed. He had just lost a game of Poker to that backstabbing bastard Tzeentch but minutes ago. “I know you cheated, asshole!” He roared into the Warp, only to be replied by a dark chuckle.
“Fuck that guy. Actually, now that I think about it, I wonder what my separated soul fragments have been up to….” The Emperor thought to himself, except for the fact that thought was voiced in the Warp. “Might as well go out and see what they are up to.” He created a TV, before a couch materialized behind him, and he sat down. Grabbing a remote with countless buttons, he pressed one.
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Meanwhile, in another Universe…..
“My children, you have been fighting against these accursed ponies for many years. Today, that changes!” A fragment of the Emperor, weaker than the main soul, but still powerful, declared to an army of human soldiers. “I am known by many names, though most call me The Emperor.” At their raised eyebrows, he added, “I am not here to make an Empire, worry not. My name has been lost to time and space. My people only know me as such.”
“What do you mean, ‘your people’?” One soldier asked.
“I am a human, that is true, but I come from a alternate universe, one of many in the multiverse. But getting back on topic, as humans, you have every right to exist, and to one day conquer the stars. These ‘Equestrians’ believe themselves the superior race, forcing us to become one of them by using that barrier to threaten us.” The Emperor Fragment explained, gazing across the army. “This shall happen no more! I shall destroy their barrier, and bring the Equestrians to their knees. Or whatever they have in place of those. I shall present to you their leader, and return those who have been forced to be returned to normal! All I ask is that you aid me in delivering this blow!” The army cheered, waving flags of many separate nations.
“DEATH TO CELESTIA! DEATH TO EQUESTRIA! HUMANITY WILL PREVAIL!” They shouted, raising their guns in salute to The Emperor Fragment.
“Then, my fellow humans, we march for the right to be Human!” He roared, before turning towards the East. The pink barrier could be seen, but that was not what The Emperor Fragment was looking at. He was looking at the Equestrian Army flying, marching, and other such things. The Fragment grinned, pulling his sword out of it's scabbard. At the head of the equestrians was Twilight, and the Elements of Harmony.
“Humans!” She declared “Surrender now, and you can live carefree lives in Equestria! Be free of your evil and twisted humanity!”
“And parties!” Pinkie Pie shouted, holding pie and cake. Some of the Human Soldiers began to take a step forward, but The Fragment glared at them.
“Do not trust the xenos. Do not be found wanting. Those who attempt to join the Equestrians shall personally meet their end by my hand.” He growled, and the soldiers jumped back in line. The Emperor Fragment turned back to Twilight. “You dare to call humanity unfit for existing? What right have you to declare such a thing?” He demanded. Twilight met his glare evenly.
“Princess Celestia herself has seen your history, human. She has seen the tyranny, the suffering, and the horror of being human. That is why she declared the human species unfit for living on this world, and must be converted through the Conversion Bureaus. Her word is law.” Twilight explained, a cheerful grin on her face. “Now, won't you please stand down for conversion?”
“Your Princess has only seen the bad. What about the good we have done? The country of America fought against Britain for their Independence, because the British were making unfair laws and taxes. And after that, after many years, humanity began focusing only on helpful technology. We deserve the right to live, because we fought tooth and nail to earn it. What of you, Foul Xeno?” The Emperor Fragment countered.
“What?” Twilight asked.
“You Equestrians never had to fight for your right to live. Your species lived a pampered life, being able to regulate the weather, and the earth, and use magic. We, without magic, used our minds to invent. We created machines to aid us in problems. We need to regulate the water? Build a dam. We need a better way to communicate? The cell phone can do that. We invented, and you didn't.” The Emperor Fragment growled. “We deserve to live. You, however, don't. A species that got their existence handed to them on a plate, and then has the gall to declare another species unfit? We shall show you what happens when you mess with humanity.”
Twilight's response was to splash a conversion potion right in his face. “You will see the error of your ways, human. Whether you like it or not.” She growled, her temper long gone.
“This is the potion you used to convert humanity?” The Emperor Fragment growled, unaffected by the potion. “Then, by the right given by me.” He growled, turning back to the human army. “Kill them all! We march for humanity, and shall show no fear! Charge!”
The human army roared, opening fire with their weapons. Many drew close combat weapons, stepping forward and in front of the gun users to guard them. Then, as one, they charged, following The Emperor Fragment, who was already deep within the Equestrian ranks.
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Back in our universe.
“So that's where my polite and charismatic side went. Glad to see that cocky son of a bitch is doing well.” The Emperor chuckled, before returning to the mortal realm his body resided in. “Maybe I'll see how the other ones are doing. But right now, I have ponies to educate, and questions to answer.” He added.
LONG LIVE THE EMPEROR!
Dear Emperor of Mankind,
What would you do if you met a shapeshifter? Please respond.
From Delta 238
P.S.- Hope you feel better soon!
Dear Emperor
What would you do about the dark Eldar once you are no longer in the golden throne can you give us a hint
Polite and charismatic? And I never understood the 40k love affair with close combat. At most a bayonet or a good kabar for close combat.
6719742
Basically the part of The Emperor that made him seem Noble. You know, rarely swearing, seeming to be high and mighty, actually polite to people.
If our Emperor had that, he would act more like the Canon 'God Emperor'
Luckily, our Emperor won't ever be getting that part of him back.
Because then he won't be funny.
As for the second question,
We humans consider a close combat battle honorable, meeting your opponent right in their face, instead of cowardly hiding somewhere with a sniper rifle. Or like the Tau. Close Combat is getting into your opponent's face, and having them see the face of their killer.
6719753 Emperor always seemed more if the silent but driven type. And the type that even ruling the Imperium was a bother and just a step on to bigger and better things.
fought the british for taxes and now america pays proportionately more then ever before
Greetings my man Emperor of mankind I was just curious of your take on on the angry Marines a group of soldiers so renowned for their melee combat that even cornflakes most insane berserkers wet themselves when a drop pod bearing there banner crashes in the middle of their force also would you be allowed them to be illegitimate Warhammer chapter the main reason I asked because I read that you have reasonable Marines in Equestria ready or at least an outpost
Dear Man-Emperor of Mankind,
I have two questions for you that have multiple parts to both of them. First, have you met any dragons yet? If you have what is your opinion of them and would you ever consider joining them instead of the friendship loving ponies?
Second, what do you do between answering questions, listening to nerdy Twilight, and educating the ponies? Besides playing poker with the Chaos Gods, that is. Why do you choose to do that instead of anything else?
Dear glorious Emperor of mankind.
Since you've had so much time to think while on that throne of yours,
have you figured out the meaning of life yet?
Sincerely, Derrick-Skalula.
6719753
Hey I heard that!
And FYI how can TAU fight fair if their physical strength is weaker than a basic human!
6721711 How about we ask the Emperor that? Because that has just been sent to his throne room.
Or more acurate you are to primitive and stupid to invent proper powerful range weapons allowing to go beyond this barabric close combat fighting.
6721711
Simple, they do what we do in those situations. Outsmart, Outflank, Outmaneuver.
Dear Emperor. What your plans for this little planet and will the diamond dogs be helping you?
Can anyone send me a link to the story that was shown here today? I would like to read it. Plz and thank you.
7005163 same here!
This would be a great one-shot (or an entire novelette!)
Humanity, Fuck Yeah! Vive Humanitas!
8246471
Viva la Revolucion
That was your polite and charismatic side? Charismatic sure, but polite?
8869155
The situation didn't require him to be polite..... plus the fact that he talked to them instead of just killing them was "Being polite"