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I. Psychological Examination2,723 words
II. Isolation2,778 words
III. Social Interaction2,625 words
IV. Interpretation 2,636 words
V. Frustration2,873 words
VI. Explanation3,401 words
VII. Primordial Communication2,634 words
VIII. Evasion2,358 words
IX. Interrogation1,361 words
X. Indication2,805 words
XI. Recognition3,138 words
XII. Correlation2,911 words
XIII. Abnegation2,640 words
XIV. Trepidation4,181 words
XV. Devotion4,755 words
XVI. Recursion3,025 words
XVII. Consolation8,372 words
XVIII. Dejection4,822 words
XIX. Revelation5,118 words
XX. Confession4,699 words
XXI. Infatuation (Clean)4,936 words
XXI. Infatuation (Cheeky)6,708 words
XXII. Apperception10,022 words
XXIII. Reacquisition 14,912 words
XXIV. Redaction8,997 words
XXV. Allegation7,534 words

XVI. Recursion

Your eyes opened, surrounded by near complete darkness. Your legs were trapped under the cover you lie in. As your consciousness returned, you regained full control of your body, and as you pulled your forelegs out, you could still feel exhausted. The covers of the bed provided a near-perfect balance between warmth and cold, only making you less likely to actually fully wake up. You let your eyelids fall, returning back to your semiconscious state.

The dream. It was different again. It wasn't the one I had before or their death... It's not as if it matters. I can't remember anything from it. Just the familiar voice. Was it another memory, or just a delusion?

Placing your forelegs back under the covers, you stretched out your legs, easing tension that had been built up overnight. Doing so only reminded you of your physical exhaustion. Not wanting to get out of bed just yet, you hunched over, pulling the covers closer together. You opened your eyes once more, observing your surroundings, and realized that it was dark; meaning that it was nightfall.

How little did I sleep? Not very long apparently. That would explain why I'm still exhausted.

You closed your eyes, attempting to retrieve your memories of the previous night, and nothing came to mind. Much of it was a blur. You could only recall something catastrophic happening, and anypony that was involved was blocked out. As you let yourself deeper into the bed, your eyes darted open, and you sat up on the bed, throwing the sheets off, yelling as you did. You quickly looked around the room, once again observing your surroundings. Although the room was near pitch-black, you could see a cloud-constructed wall, allowing you to come to the conclusion that you were not at the hospital. Panting, you relaxed and let out a sigh, relieved that you weren't taken back into the Manehattan Psychiatric Hospital. You placed your fore-hoof on your head, trying to calm yourself down.

Thank Celestia I'm not back there! But, I'm still not safe yet. I need to find out where I am.

You slid off the bed, dragging the covers with you. Landing on your legs, you quickly turned your neck, cracking and easing the stiffness of your neck. Slowly, you began to walk forward cautiously until your leg bumped into your saddlebag. Frightened of having it removed, you craned your neck to to pick it up, but your eyes caught the attention of the design of the cover that had fallen off the bed. It's rainbow-layered style had served as a reminder of what had happened the previous night. You cursed under your breath, insulting yourself for being easily coaxed into staying in Rainbow Dash's home. Finally having a moment to gather your thoughts, another argument broke out between you and yourself.

Why did you let yourself say yes to all of this? Do you realize what you've gotten yourself into?

"I know."

Then why are you still here? Why were you even here in the first place?

"I wanted to believe that she could help me. She 'can' help me."

Just like how you were so sure that Sigmund could help you?

"This is different! He didn't know anything about my past! She does!"

And how do you know that?!

"Because she recognized me. She knew my name. And only a few ponies know my real name."

That doesn't mean she can help.

"But she said she would! She wants to help me! And none of this is her fault. She didn't have to take any sort of responsibility, but she did. That's more than almost any other pony has done for me!"

You caught yourself shouting into the darkness, realizing that you were having another dispute. As you regained your normal pattern of thoughts, you contemplated carrying the saddlebag with you.

There's no point. She already knows who I am. It'll just be dead weight.

As you pulled away from the saddlebag, you observed your surroundings once more, placing your vision on the door at the end of the room. Thoughts began to spawn as to whether or not you should search the building. Your curiosity peaks, and you began to steadily walk over to the door. As you placed your hoof on the knob, you slowly pushed, creating a low but steady creak, which echoed through the corridor. Upon hearing the noise, you stopped, fearing that somepony might have heard. Frightened, you peered your head through the slit of the door, and all you could see was an empty hallway. After making sure that nopony was near, you began to push the door once more, the creak now absent. Eventually, you made your way into the hallway. In one end laid the stairway you climbed yesterday.

What if she's down there? I don't hear anything... But what if she catches me sneaking around in her own home?

After a quick evaluation of the consequences, you decided to go down anyway. Beginning your descent down the stairs, you took each step as cautiously as possible, to avoid making any unwanted noise.

I should not be doing this. If she catches me, she might tell me to leave.

"Why do you care so much? Didn't you want to leave?"

No... Or, yes! I'm not sure anymore. I already told you. I just want help.

"You don't even know if she can help."

What choice do I have left? Besides, she knows my past. At least like this, I can stop her from telling anypony else.

"You don't know that. You can't even trust her."

I want to be able to!

"That's only because!.."

You stopped yourself from shouting, closing your mouth while taking a few steps back; in your self-conflict, you failed to pay attention to your surroundings, for the cyan pegasus laid right before you on the couch like she had said she would. You kept your eyes focused on her, not daring to blink. After a few seconds of observation and silence, besides both of your breathing, she didn't stir. You let out a sigh of relief, thankful to Celestia that she hadn't awakened. Rainbow Dash just laid there, her chest ascending and descending in sync with her breathing, and her mutlicolored tail playfully whipping in the air. Her legs were sprawled out, as she was laying on her side. After nearly a minute, you caught yourself staring at her athletic figure. But really, it was more than just staring, admiring, almost.

What am I doing?! What if she caught me staring at her like that?... Why am I even staring at her in the first place?

Deciding to push the thought away, you continued to search around her home, regardless of the constant reminder of the consequences. Slowly walking, you tried to make as little noise as possible, eventually reaching the room where Rainbow Dash had dumped various pictures onto the floor. You couldn't remember the exact reason for why she had done this, but you figured it was in relation to you. You walked past them, but stopped, your curiosity urging you to look through them. You took a quick glance at the photos, but averted your eyes.

Look through them. She looked through your case file. You have every right to look through the pictures.

"I... Suppose." you whispered to yourself.

You turned directly towards the pile of pictures and laid onto the ground. Your vision was centered on the picture that lay on top of the pile. It was an image of Rainbow Dash and a few other ponies smiling for a photo. You threw it aside, focusing on the next consecutive image. It was another image of Rainbow Dash flying with the yellow pegasus you've seen before. Like the other, you threw it aside, ignoring it. Picking up another image, it featured Rainbow Dash, smiling once more, along with the same ponies that were in the first image you'd seen.

These are all memories... Fulfilling memories. Memories that she can reminisce on...

A combination of both hope and agitation grew inside you. Letting your rage take over for a moment, you smacked the photographs, tossing them and causing them to slide against the ground.

What would she know? She doesn't know what it feels like to be abandoned. She'll never understand what I've been through. That's why she can look back on her memories and feel something other than despair and hopelessness!

You picked yourself up, ignoring the photos that stretched across the floor. As you rose to your hooves, your cringed in pain, holding your stomach, as the sounds of your stomach growling echoed throughout the room, the sound only amplified by the silence of the room. Keeping the same position, you tilted your head upwards, towards the couch Rainbow Dash laid on. Everything was silent, until you heard her grunt and shift her position on the couch. Your heart skipped a beat, but you were quickly relieved to hear her begin to snore.

Damn. How long has it been since I've eaten? An apple won't satisfy my hunger. I need more than just that.

Still in the room with the photos, you took yourself further away from the couch, to find yourself near the same room where Rainbow Dash read your case file. Although not as loud, your stomach was still grumbling, and the feeling of an empty stomach began to override your priorities.

I wonder if she has food. No, I can't just steal it... Well, what would it matter? She offered me to stay with her, I assume that I would be allowed to eat the food she has, right?

As you tread further into the room, you find the same window in which you escaped in earlier. It was completely shut this time, but you still pondered the idea of escaping.

There's no point in running. If I do, I'll just end up in the same cycle again. She'll find me, question me, and I'll eventually return here.

You began to retreat back into the room with the photographs, still in a mess. You were about to look through them once more, but you decided against it. You knew that looking through them again would only disturb you more.

What now? I'm still hungry, but I don't know where anything is in her home. Maybe I should just go back before she wakes up.

Adjusting your eyes to the darkness, you slowly began making your way back to the second floor. Again, just as you had descended, you took the same precautions, being incredibly careful not to make any noise. You weren't sure what you would do back when you returned to the room, but you were sure that it was much safer than being out in the open with Rainbow Dash. As you approached the couch she rested on, you crept even slower, even going as far as to hold your breath to avoid making noise. As you passed the couch, you felt your tail brush up against something. Thinking quickly, you reflexively pulled away, creating space between you and whatever object your tail had come across. But, your movements were stopped by an even sturdier object, causing you to expel your breath and to stumble. You quickly regained your balance, trying to immediately resume your retreat back into your room, but you were halted by the sound of glass coming in contact with the floor. Your blood froze as the noise traveled and echoed across the silent living room. As you listened to the noise, you couldn't hear the mare snoring anymore.

"Who's..," she yawned as she lifted herself up from the couch, "there?"

You stayed quiet, not daring to make any noise whatsoever.

Idiot! This was inevitable! You shouldn't have come down here in the first place! Now she's going to find you, and who knows what she'll do to you! You'll be lucky if she doesn't tell everypony your past!

Rainbow Dash was scanning the room, trying to locate the source of the noise, when she finally rested her eyes upon you. The two of you looked into each others' eyes and held on for a few seconds before she began to speak.

"What the- Hey!" she yelled, getting herself off the couch, and beginning to approach you, "Who do you think you are, breaking into my home and sneaking around, huh?"

She was standing over you now, while you cowered under her.

You shouldn't be angry. You should have expected this. This is what you deserve for sneaking around her home.

"Well?" she questioned again. Her tone was impatient and annoyed, just like it had been before she knew who you were. She was waiting for some sort of explanation but you couldn't bring yourself to speak. You opened your mouth, but no words came out. You just sat on the floor with the most shameful look on your face. After a few more seconds of silence, her expression quickly changed, and she spoke once more.

"Oh! It's just you..." she stated as she shifted into a more neutral position, not hovering over you like she had before.

Wait, what? What does she mean, "it's just you"?

"Dude, it's," she started, interrupted by another yawn as she turned to something across the room, "three in the morning! What are you doing up so late?"

Has she simply forgiven me for lurking around her home, without her consent, simply because she knows who I am? I'm glad I'm not being accused of anything, but why did she so easily forgive me?

It took a second for you to realize that she was still lingering around with the question she'd asked. Again, you tried to come up with an excuse.

"I was... Hungry." you muttered.

Hungry? That was the best you could come up with? She won't believe th-

"Yeah, I don't blame ya. I get up for a midnight snack sometimes too."

She began to walk off, leaving you behind. After a few steps, she turned back to you.

Astonished would be the only appropriate word to explain yourself right now. You couldn't believe that she so easily believed you.

"You coming or what?"

You rose to your legs and quickly trotted over to her, not wanting to keep her waiting. You followed her into another corridor, only increasing the complexity of her home. After a few seconds of silence, the two of you had reached the kitchen. There wasn't much to observe, and not because it was dark. You had kept your attention on Rainbow Dash.

She's being extensively kind. I would have never expected this from her. Maybe she's planning something.

She opened her fridge, and began rummaging through it, looking for food, you assumed. You patiently waited behind a counter, awaiting whatever it was Rainbow Dash would bring out.

"Hmm, I don't have much, cause I haven't had the chance to re-stock my fridge, but... Here." she stops, bringing out a half-eaten pie with her mouth. She tosses it onto the counter-top, and slides it over to you. "You can have the rest."

You lifted yourself and placed your hooves on the counter, examining the pie. At the hospital, your diet consisted mainly of various fruits and vegetables, and the occasional confection. You weren't sure how to go about eating the pie; should you just go right ahead and eat it?

"Well? Are you gonna eat it or not?"

She interrupted your thoughts, and not wanting to irritate her any further, you took a large bite out of the pie, beginning to relieve the empty feelings of your stomach. Having the pain reduced, you took another bite, not taking a break to breathe.

"Heh heh, you must have been really hungry. But, I can understand. You were asleep for pretty much a whole day! Not even I can sleep that long."

You suddenly gagged on the food in your mouth, nearly choking, catching Rainbow Dash's attention.

"Woah! You alright?" she asked, walking over to you. You threw up your hoof, motioning her to not come any closer, indicating that you were fine. Once you had cleared your throat, you wasted no time analyzing what she had said.

Asleep for a whole day? How can it be possible? It's only 3:00 AM! I couldn't have been asleep for more than a few hours, at most!

"W-what do you mean, 'a whole day'?" you hesitantly asked.

"Well, yeah. You've been asleep for a whole day. When I woke up this morning, you were still sleeping. I left to go do some things with my friends for pretty much the entire day. It was late when I came back and you were already in bed again. I wasn't sure but I guess I thought you got up by yourself to do some other things, but by the looks of it..."

It took some time for the idea of you sleeping through an entire day to sink in.

How could I have slept through an entire day!? First, it was for more than a couple of hours, but now an entire day! 24 hours, or possibly even more, wasted!

Your loss of time was beginning to drive you mad. You needed to know how long it had been since she found out who you really were.

"How long has it been since... Since you saw my..." you began.

"Your Cutie Mark? I think it's been about... A week, give or take a day." she quickly responded.

A week. A week since she's seen it. It's been that long already? And I've only been conscious for about five of those days. I can't keep losing time like this.

"Why'd you ask?" she questioned.

You yourself were not sure exactly as to why you asked. You wanted to know how long it had been, but you felt that there was an alternative motive behind your question. You searched your mind for an answer, trying to make any association you could. And it finally came to you. You realized why it mattered that it had been a week. You finally made the association.

Sigmund.

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