I listen to metal, rap, and dubstep. I've been a brony since 2011. I started writing pony fics to keep me sane(it didn't work) and haven't stopped ever since.
The Pit, a vile, slimy hole. The nobles preside from above over the lesser griffins, diamond dogs, and a solitary human. A cruel place, where these lesser beings are forced to fight for the scraps left behind by their superiors. The hope of prosperity, zero to none. But the hope of something better lives on, the hope of escape. All in a griffin and a human.
Page generated in 0.127 seconds
Total duration
655 users online
666,747 hits today, 2,073,628 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
You want vengeance driven monsters? "Cause that's how you get vengeance driven monsters.
6514343 oh goody. I do love a vengeance driven monster.
Cool story so far, but there are a plethora of other names for a gryphon.
6515824 there will be plenty of griffons in the story. I just wanted to give the stories main antagonist a really punny name.
6515857 Okay. At least it wasn't something like Villain McDouchebag.
6515939 that's too obvious, I kinda wanted it to sound royal, and be a play on words, that's why I named him Griffonius.
I propose an offer of help from one author to another. When utilizing a character's inner monolog, use italicized words and include ' marks before and after the thoughts. The single mark indicates that it originates from the central character of the scene and denotes inner speech. It is an unwritten rule to many. Thought you might be able to use it. The Prince's name is unimaginative. I used Myrmidon for the Gryphon King in my story. There are PLENTY of usable names that can be a play on words, but that one needs work, no offense.
Oh, and I really hope our recently orphaned kid ends up slaughtering a metric shit-ton of Gryphons. I also hope that this is not yet ANOTHER 'abuse the human' story. I really hated Your Human And You and Dawn Of The Vanguard.
You've got a few errors and you're moving really fast, however the story itself is interesting. I'll keep a watch on it. Maybe think about getting an editor, though.
6517940 thanks for the feed back. I actually do have an editor. He's been in another story that I've written. Also, this is a prologue, I wanted it to be fast paced and able to draw a reader's interest. The story will be slowing down in later chapters.
Wow. Prince Blueblood really has a soul-mate in Griffonius
I'll be watching this
6550981 I ship it! Blueonius is the OTP of OTPs.
THE PIT OF DESTHPAIR!
6694821 lol. Did you like it?
6694834 yup. nice new take.
6695311 new take on what?
6695316 HiE's in general. sorry i am mentally exhaust
6695329 I am too. Thanks, when I read HiEs I always notice that the protagonist is from outside of Equestria. One of the first decisions I made was to make him from Equestria.
I like this story, I AM HAVING A GOOD TIME
6697270 good to hear
Violet Streak opened her eyes, as felt
Violet Streak opened her eyes, as she felt
and wrapped a one of her wings
and wrapped one of her wings ; Or something else like this.
Lookin good though, if there was anything else I didn't catch it. I eagerly await new updates!
other creatures when berserk.
other creatures went berserk.
Feeling his coming to a boiling point,
Feeling his anger coming to a boiling point,
I feel like I saw another one in my initial read through but I forgot where it was.
6707745 thanks so much for pointing those out. I'll fix them as soon as I get to a computer.
6707771 No problem man, if it doesn't annoy you to much when the mood strikes me while reading this and I find some more Ill note em.
6708257 go ahead.
Burn the nobles in there home
Slaughter the cruel
Skin the Evil
Destroy there history
WHEN THE DEEDS ARE DONE!!!!1
release the captives
6863006 Sooooo the main drive for the Order of the Black Knights?
The ending was cute.
6863185
6863006
6863032 I have a lot planed for this story. So buckle up buttercups.
Griffonious. Origonal.
6871968 I know. I didn't name him very well.
This is a good read!
6916739 Aww thanks. There's more to come soon!
6863006 AND BLOW THOSE UP TOO!
6551556
Well, I hope Griffonius has his affairs in order...
6916790
*in Bane's voice*
LET THE GAMES BEGIN.
6916790
Where's the next chapter?