(This happens WAAAY before the show, it will be the prequel of another story that will be posted after I finish this one)
A non-brony girl gets sucked into a show that she's not even a fan of, now in a body of a filly she tries hard not to interact with any character that appeared within the show, basically everyone, as much as possible as to not be included into the show, she looks for a solution to get her back into her own world or die trying, hoping not the latter. In her years of filly hood, she meets a certain gray haired filly that looked remarkably like the rainbow mare she knows, expect, she doesn't act like the daring pony she was to be in the future, said gray haired Pegasus is being bullied, she tries to avoid her morals and walk away but can't resist not helping her. All she thinks as she helped the little filly is '...Buck...'
(I am a noob so please be subtle 
)
In terms of the description I advise you cut everything out except for the last paragraph.
Also your character tag should be "OC" instead of "Other". Other means you're using another person's OC or a character from entirely different genre that you didn't create.
I really hope this is trolling.
6466832
Okay, thanks for the advice!
Nice keep up the good work
Nice but you should fix the has bro at the end of the chapter
I like it enough, but ideally you want to have the flashbacks and such in a way that you don't need to explicitly call them out as such. Here I feel that you can move the flashback and time-skip around to make it flow chronologically. I don't really get why you flash forward to a few weeks later, then flash back the next paragraph. Another suggestion I have is to try and avoid switching the PoV within the chapter. Between chapters is fine, but you want as few potential stumbling blocks for the flow within the chapter.
6504661
Thanks, I'll try to do that
"These ruins.... This language... I know this" Vixen said with an uncertain look as she looked over the more ruins. Daring eyes widened along with the other unknown members, but one big shadow narrowed their eyes with an unknown glint
6525554
you made my day 
That. Is. Hilarious. I can already picture the scene where she realizes it's that and just bangs her head into a nearby tree so she can't damage the ruins screaming about damn trolling anime fans into equine bodies while the rest just stare at her
Alright, firstly why do you have a timeskip followed by a flashback? That's confusing, and it would make more sense if they had been put in chronological order.
You have real scheduling and pacing issues here - a flashback really wasn't neccessary and calling it like that is simply unprofessional.