My mother was a Pegasus my father was a llama... Yeah deal with it
Ten years have past since the adventures of Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy. Through pure conisidence, they all travel to the big city of Ponyopolis at the same time. They are all get caught up in a mess, a bad bad mess. They will have to overcome the obstacles that face them. Conflict, betrayal, and mystery will all be there, in Shy in the City.
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It seeems a bit too fast paced; she gets from the train, to her apartment and then in a fight and then reunited with twi. In less. thsn a thousand words? Be more descriptive add details. what did the the train look like? How was she dressed(if she was). What did the alley look like. How did they get to a bed? Details are very important in any good writing.
Uill track this though. it seemss like its inspired by a manga. I cant remember wich one.
672424 thanks! I saw the cover art in a video and It imeadiatly gave me of the idea of Fluttershy in a city
Interesting... Better slow down the plot, or else you won't have much left to write
More details, A LOT MOAR
bloody groosome a some
A decent story. Could use some work but its still pretty good.
After reading these other chapters i could say that these need more words. Try and work abit more on the detail and words. This has ALOT of potential though. Though some people say that you have to give the readers what they want. Not what you want. But i do like this so i will track
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683832 Thanks!!! This is my first attempt at writing a thing besides school projects. I hit a writers block so I am trying to figure out were to take the story next.