How the Beard Became the Legend

by peacevic

The Sad State of Things

The Sad State of Things

The world bled into view as the teleportation spell released the three of them back into reality, though the town around them made Star Swirl question if they hadn't landed in some strange fever dream. What was once an average hamlet, presumably, was now transformed into a garish jumble of half-forgotten whims. Every third building floated free of the ground and gravity, with some tilted at angles. Those that still touched their foundations had their quirks as well, as none of the cobbled paths actually led to a door- either they were just misaligned, or they curved around the house, or they continued too far up and over the building. Some had all three. Worse still, all of the houses were painted bright orange.

The architecture wasn't the only absurdity on display. At the far side of the village a rainstorm sucked a torrent of droplets from the ground. A fluffle of bunnies hopped past them casually, despite their flippers. Nearby mountains gracefully performed a ballet.

It was all too much. Star Swirl gasped, “What is this?”

Celestia placed a comforting hoof on his shoulder. “It is Discord's handiwork.”

“His madness.”

“Now that's not very kind, Luna,” the closest house scolded, a trace of simple meanness in its voice. Curiously, the door that formed its mouth opened in the middle and not along its frame. “And after we've been out of touch for so long...”

“It's really quite cruel,” the road hissed.

Celestia was unimpressed. “Cease your tricks, Discord, and show yourself.”

“Oh, but that is what I'm doing,” was the reply, seemingly from all around them. “You said it yourself- this is my handiwork, my chaos. Me.”

“That is sophistry, and you know it. Now it is time for these games to end. For this land's sake, order must be restored.”

Rivulets of ooze streamed off of the nearby buildings, collecting in a puddle in front of them before sculpting itself into the infamous draconequus. What mirth had been present was gone. “You want me to give up all of this? To wither from the lack of chaos?!”

“Like what you've done to Down- to Journey?!” Star Swirl accused.

Discord's gaze fell on the mage, a strange glint in his mismatched eyes. “So you know my dear sister, do you? She was someone I was always quite fond of, what with how similar we are.”

“She's not at all like you.”

“So protective! What, is she your friend or something?” Discord rotated his body a full revolution, while his eyes stayed precisely in place.

“I- well...”

“Ooh, hesitation!” A snap of Discord's talons, and Star Swirl found himself sitting at small table. Another snap conjured a chair for Discord himself, which he took. “Tell me all about it. Did she lie to you, mislead you, convince you to do something for her?”

Before Star Swirl could say anything a blue energy slammed into Discord, pinning him to the dirt. Horn ablaze, Luna cried, “Now, Sister!”

Golden spikes materialized above the downed spirit and were then driven through his limbs, tail, and body. Luna's magic, which had been holding Discord down through the barrage, crept up along the rods and fashioned itself into connective chains that anchored the rods to the ground. Celestia stepped forward, her jaw clenched in concentration and her illuminated horn pointed to a spot above where Discord was secured. When Star Swirl looked, he saw a pyramidal matrix being woven out of light and its absence. The intricacy needed for a spell like what Celestia was casting... It was on a level Star Swirl had never witnessed before.

The spell resolved itself in a final sunburst that washed the entire area in white. Star Swirl blinked furiously, trying to speed his vision's return. When he could see once more Discord was fully eclipsed by the pyramid. The Sisters slumped from exhaustion.

“Really you two, that was quite rude.”

Discord stepped into the space between the mage and the two alicorns. Luna gaped, “That- That's...”

“Impossible,” Celestia finished.

“I was in the middle of a very nice conversation. It seems you manners have deteriorated during your little sabbatical,” the spirit tutted. Then a smirk replaced the consternation. “As has your appearance. Why my dear Luna, your hair's looking so drab these days.”

“What are you babbling about, you-” She caught a glimpse of her mane and abruptly halted her nascent tirade. It hung limp, not flowing as it had previously, and the stars no longer shone through.

Discord chuckled at her shocked expression. He opened his talons, revealing a mass of tiny twinkling globes. “Looking for these?”

“Fiend! Return to me my-”

“Yes, yes, it's done.” He closed his claw again and Luna's mane lit up once more. “Some alicorns just can't take a joke, huh? Not that it matters at all, I hardly need to steal your... accessories to beat you. Your stay at that little garden retreat gave me all the time I need to spread some real chaos. I'm stronger now than any other spirit, stronger than any spirit's ever been. And you? You're afterthoughts.”

The spirit clapped his incongruous appendages and a jeweled birdcage sprung into being around the Two Sisters, which, try as they might, they could not escape from. Each successive attempt wrought a wider grin on the face of the leering draconequus.

Once they had collapsed from thorough exhaustion, Discord wagged his tail. A gilded throne popped up behind him, which he mounted with a mocking solemnity. “Now this is a role that suits you, wouldn't you agree? Ornaments for this new capitol of mine... Oh, but it wouldn't do for the decorations to be anything less than impeccable. Songbirds should sing.”

Spectral scourges coalesced above the alicorns and began their work, each lash wringing an agonized yelp. All the while, Discord watched in fascination. He seemed like a foal uprooting flowers and reveling in the sense of total control the outburst gave him.

This intense focus meant that Star Swirl was firmly beyond the spirit's attention. He, and he alone, could help the Two escape this monstrous predicament. But how? Anything he did would be the last chance the three of them had.

He quietly studied the structure trapping his saviors, and was impressed despite himself. Gaudy rainbow gems aside, it was well-made. Its locking mechanism was of the kind that would take more time and know-how than he currently had to pick. Centuries of resentment or no, it wouldn't be long before the chaos spirit remembered the interesting unicorn.

Which left a magical solution as the only option. This was a subject that the archmage was quite hoofy at.

The bars of the prison were layered with runes and eldritch symbols, most of which were from languages no longer spoken by the pony tribes. Academia, however, made a sport of conversing in dead tongues, so it wasn't much of a chore for Star Swirl to isolate the key part of the teleportation ward. Reaching out with his magic, and desperately trying to keep his aura as dim as possible as he did, the unicorn discretely defaced the working.

His task complete, Star Swirl let out an anxious sigh and prepared his next move. When he was ready, he shouted, “Discord!”

“Huh?” was the confused reply. Discord turned toward the source of the distracting voice.

Just as the spirit was looking his way, Star Swirl detonated the orb of light magic he had positioned in between the two of them. Discord reeled from his sudden blindness, cursing. Star Swirl swiftly teleported to the Sisters' side and immediately blinked all three of them away from that horrible place.

An instant later, the three of them landed in a heap far away. Star Swirl climbed to his hooves and offered a steadying shoulder to Luna. Celestia seemed too pride-sore to lean on him. Instead, she simply muttered an ashamed, “Thank you.”

“Ahem,” an amused voice said from behind the group. Then Star Swirl saw the spears.