With the rest of her family out of town on a business trip, Applejack decided to bring back old memories as a little filly and have a sleepover with her friends! Too bad they're all busy... except for one. But it's gonna take some convincing to get this mare anywhere near a sleepover.
EDIT: I went through and fixed grammar mistakes and errors in the first two chapters. The third will be grammatically correct before upload. Thanks for all the support!
So far so good! Though there are a few mistakes with the quotation marks.
6291610 I'll talks a gander tomorrow for grammatical mistakes. Editing today was word format and placement. Fixing sentences that didn't make sense and other problems. Thank you!
6291615
You're welcome Inkwell!
I look forward to the next installment!
6291619 GLad You are! I plan on typing it maybe tomorrow?
MYAR!!!!
Also, great story!!!
6291633
Good to hear. I should really start typing up my own story...
Interesting. I look forward to more.
Sleepovers in this series always end in fights, fallen trees and nightmares come to life.
And you didn't make my Grammar Nazi half have a conniption fit, impressive.
Interesting.
I like!
6291710 This sleepover is gonna end a little differently. Spoilers are already appearing in the cover photo.
6291807 Glad to hear!
6292001
I figured.
I was just making assorted random commentary... or is it random?
This is going to be interesting!
6293055 Indeed it is!
AJ should've tried the apple cider approach with Rainbow Dash.
6293572 Did somepony say cider?!
That would've been very effective as well, but I like the idea of Rainbow having a secret attraction to rom/com movies
A fine beginning, I say. I shall await continuation! And cuddles.
If there is no cuddling, I shall be very disappointed.
I rather liked the way you formatted the newspaper articles, specifically and Rainbow enjoying Romcoms. Although I perhaps wouldn't have minded you showing Applejack wanting a sleepover a bit more.
There are one or two little grammar/typo things I picked up, but not so many that it was aggravating. At least, not for me. I'm not so much a grammar nazi as a grammar hippie.
6294064 I'm really glad you enjoyed my story. And yes, you shall not be a disappointed pony
True I could've made Applejack wanted it a bit more....
And I love how I did the articles too. Idea just came to me.
Also the rom/com idea was just too perfect
6293797 That is my downfall too.
Soon. ^^
I made a mistake....reading this before its even completed... So far the story is sounding nice. Can't wait to see what else you have for us!
It's not a bad story but you keep switching tenses, going from past-tense to present-tense. It's one of the most disjointed things you can do to a story and makes it really hard to read. I'm not a critic or a proof reader so you should bring this to someone else who can do a quick QC of your work.
Clean it up and keep writing, I always like a cute Appledash fic
6294921 Awww. I hope to have more up soon
6294926 I knew I was probably doing that. When I did my self-edits I fixed quite a few cases of that. *sigh* Hope my editor is available. Been busy lately.
I can't wait for more!!!
Nicely done.
Only problem: Romantic comedies...
This was you first?!?! Wow this was really good for a first. No, that sounds slightly insulting. It was really good regardless if it was ur first of these types of stories.
6947103 I feel you, pone.
6948258 Well thank you
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
More please
6951028 It's in progress.
Rainbow Dash being into Romcoms, didn't see that coming
This your first shipfic? I have to say, good effort.
My only constructive feedback would be that the part about AJ"s feeling's for Rainbow Dash felt so sudden and glossed over when it was mentioned. I feel like it should've been given it's own paragraph, given it's a rather important plot point
The cuddling was cute and I loves me some AppleDash like I loves me a Custard Doughnut. I look forward to seeing more ^^
6967119 Not necessarily my first shipfic, but my first real in-depth one, yes.
Thank you for your feedback. It will help me better write in the future.
Also, yes, the cuddling was adorbs!
This is so overused...but it is still VERY MUCH CUTE
6969116
(sarcasm) No one ever ask Spike about that.
6969323 Spike was still in his bedroom with his Rariplush
If you don't get that, you haven't read one of my other stories
Aww, this is the kind of adorable fluff that I love. Love it
SO ADORABLE.
Aw sweet... A really mushy gushy one that's for sure...
NICE!!!! i like this story very much, and.. where's spike?
Now I want to read a appledash clopfic.