5. The Exhibit
“Sage, if you don’t get your butt out here right now, I’m going to leave without you.”
“Alright, alright, don’t tie your horn in a knot.” Sage trotted out of her room, an expression of mild annoyance on her face. “Here I am, see? No need to freak out.”
Eden’s eyes flicked up to the large hat on her head. “That’s a new one,” she said.
Sage made a face. “My aunt got it for me a long time ago.”
“About forty years, from the look of it.”
“Whatever. It’s better than the alternative.”
Eden thought about the tight bandage wrapped around her friend’s head. “I suppose…” she said. It had been two days since the attack, and they were still none the wiser as to what had happened. Sage couldn’t remember a thing. “I still say you should see a doctor.”
“And have another encounter like with the police? Fat chance.”
Eden winced. “I’m sure he didn’t mean it the way it sounded….”
“He thought I was making it up! And when I insisted it was true, he implied that I was too damn red to be having this conversation, said maybe a more credible witness should be talking to me instead.”
“Well, yes, he’s an asshole, but you’ve got a medical condition! With the nightmares—“
“They’ve got nothing to do with this.”
“But—“
“But nothing. Don’t we need to get moving?”
Eden’s pulse jumped. “Right,” she said. “We’re going to miss the four thirty car at this rate.” She jumped towards the door, but paused. “You’re not getting out of this that easily.”
“Get out of what?” Sage said, trotting to the door. Eden stifled a groan.
The pair left their dorm and began the long walk down the Celestial’s hill. The cobblestones clattered beneath their feet. Above them, the sky was a rare cloudless one, and Eden felt the light warm her fur. She kept herself to a brisk trot, Sage huffing behind her.
“You’re worrying too much,” Sage said. “It’s just the cable car. They come all the time.”
“Yeah, well it’s still unwise to be late.”
“Late to what? There’s no meeting.”
“Late to my schedule, that’s what.” Eden resisted the urge to pull her agenda out of her bag and wave it in Sage’s face. “I’ve marked off a scarce four hours to this exhibit, and I don’t want to waste a second of it.”
“Heaven forbid.”
“Exactly.”
They left the grounds of the Celestial and began walking down the hill, passing the side street that led to Tap’s bar. The elevation of the Celestial meant that cable car tracks had never been built up to it; the technology simply wasn’t strong enough to force the cars uphill. In the main city, however, there were no such problems.
Eden’s eyes lit up as she saw the waiting cable car. “There it is! We didn’t miss it, thank Cestel.”
“Thank Cestel indeed.”
“Hush.”
They pushed through the crowd and jumped on the cable car, just as the conductor was about to close the door. The car lurched forward once again, trundling along the path down the street. The conductor blew the horn every few seconds, making sure ponies outside knew the car was coming.
They didn’t talk much for the twenty minutes it took for the cable car to navigate around the city. Eden occupied herself with looking out the window and imagining the artifacts that were on display at the exhibit. What sort of stories could they tell, if they could talk?
The car pulled to a stop at the museum district and the pair hopped off. They were on the edge of the city, near the eastern wall. In more dangerous times, what was now the Museum of Ancient Ponies had been a barracks for one of the guard patrols. Though no longer used for that purpose, the warlike architecture and harsh lines remained. Two large pony statues stood on either side, and a red banner red across the top, proclaiming:
Shadows of the Past
The Legend of the Pre-Marks
“Yes!” Eden said, jumping up and clapping her hooves together. “This is it! Oh, Sage, thank you so much for getting these tickets!”
“Don’t mention it,” Sage said, “just pretend like we don’t know each other when we’re inside and we’ll call it even.”
Eden cut off her display. “Har har,” she said. “There’s nothing wrong with a little celebration.”
“I never said otherwise.”
They walked into the building and were greeted by a red security guard, who eyed the pair with practiced nonchalance. Sage walked up to him and passed him the tickets, saying something in the Camargue language that Eden didn’t understand. The stallion’s eyes flicked to Eden, and a light blush colored his cheeks. “Very good, ma’am,” he said, tearing the tickets in two and passing them back. “Right this way, down the hall and to the left. You’ll spot it easily; they’ve reserved a whole wing for it.”
“Really?” Eden said. “They must have added to it since the last time it came into town!”
“Yes, ma’am,” the guard said. “I’ve heard them saying they’ve got a new shipment of artifacts from the scablands. Quite a lot of new material.”
“Oh, this is going to be great! Come on, Sage!” Eden said, pulling her friend along the hall. Sage gave a startled yelp, jabbering out something else in Camargue as Eden whisked her away. The guard broke into a smile and shouted something back, pointing at his head. Sage stuck her tongue out at him.
Eden dragged her friend along until they got to the opening of the wing. Shadows of the Past adorned the top of the entrance, and inside ponies were meandering about between exhibits. Eden squealed. “Come on!”
She pulled Sage into the main room, where a large plaque was hung on the wall below a sketch of a rolling grassland. Eden read the words: "The Scablands, eight thousand years ago. What is now a scorching desert was, before the Mark, a fertile grassland. Here, the first ponies developed tools, agriculture, and cities. Today, little remains of their culture, but what does provides a fascinating and tantalizing glimpse into the lives of the first civilization. These are the pre-Marks."
Sage raised an eyebrow. “How mysterious.”
“Right? Who would have thought?”
Below the plaque was a map that showed the different rooms of the exhibit, as well as a recommended path to take, presenting a chronological order of everything they knew.
"Come on," Eden said, leading Sage into the first room, marked Humble Beginnings. Inside, an array of tools and stone objects were arranged, with little blurbs indicating how they were possibly used and what they were for. Eden walked past the stone shovels and the rotting wooden pieces, reading everything she could on the ancient civilization.
"Sage, check this out," she said. "It says here that this plow is nearly two thousand years older than the Ponecian agricultural revolution! That means that the pre-Marks were able to farm long before the first post-Mark civilization. They must have invented it as well."
"You think the Ponecians got it from them?”
"Unlikely. After the Mark, there isn't really any civilization to note for over fifteen hundred years. By all evidence it sent ponies right back to hunter-gatherer days. We used to think that there wasn't anything before the Mark, until we started finding stuff in the areas around Prospolis."
"Interesting," Sage said, looking over the tools. "Did you ever think about being an archaeologist?"
"Yeah," Eden said, "but it's too much hoof work for me. I'm more satisfied just studying what I can around here."
"You think you can learn everything you need to know from musty old books?"
"Of course not. You need a lab as well, but we have plenty of those in Hub City. Besides, the spot of legendary archaeologist is already taken. Look:" She pointed to a plaque beside the door. It was a picture of a rather sour looking unicorn, her red and purple mane crudely pulled back in a bun. "That's Io. She's the one that first put together the idea that the pre-Marks were a united civilization, instead of a few hunter-gather settlements.
"Huh. She looks sort of like you."
"That's just the hairstyle. She's about our age, though, if you can believe it. Total prodigy. Come on."
She led the way into the next room, marked Jewelry. Inside, a number of glass cases propped up ancient necklaces and earrings. Eden swept her eyes past rings and bracelets. Most were gold, still bright after millennia of wear. The copper and steel pieces looked much worse. Most of them had clasps where precious gems had once sat. Sage eyed them with a look of suspicion. “They sure were fond of large, ostentatious jewels, weren’t they?”
“Indeed. But what appears garish to us now was, I’m sure, the pinnacle of fashion of the day. Imagine these ponies strutting about on the streets, flashing their jewels for all the world to see… here, look!” She pointed to a ponnequin that stood in the corner. A few pieces of the jewelry, either restorations or replications, hung from the pony’s neck and ears. Eden trotted up to it. “Very nice,” she said, “but I’m with you as far as the jewels are concerned.”
“Well, there’s no accounting for taste.”
“Hmm.” Eden swept her eyes to the next ponnequin. It was wearing silver hoofguards and a pair of earrings shaped like six-pointed stars. Eden frowned.
“Now, that kinda looks like….”
She closed her eyes hard. “Coincidence,” she muttered. “That’s all it is. A coincidence. Six-pointed stars are a common symbol; they’re not unique to me, after all.”
“What was that?” Sage said, trotting up beside her.
“Nothing. I was just thinking about those earrings,” Eden said, pointing to the articles in question. “They might be the worst of the lot!”
Sage looked at them, then back to Eden. Her eyes narrowed. “Yes…” she said. “Very garish. That star pattern in particular.”
“R-right, ha ha!” Eden said. “Let’s keep going.” She trotted towards the door, ignoring Sage’s pointed look. A moment later her friend followed.
“I hope you’re not still thinking about that star thing,” Sage said as they walked back into the main room.
“What? Never!” Eden said. “In fact, I’d completely forgotten about the strange, mysterious symbol that keeps popping up in my life until you mentioned it right now!” She smiled at Sage. “Weird, and yet not weird at all, huh?”
“Look, Eden,” Sage said, stopping and fixing her friend with a look, “you need to stop thinking about this so much. It’s not a big deal, really. Stars show up all the time in cultures, signs, logos… they’re all around us. This isn’t anything weird or different, trust me.”
“But the journal—“
“Eden, listen to me. I know you well enough to know that you’re veering dangerously close to an obsessive episode, and I really don’t want the living room full of little newspaper clippings and string, okay?”
“That was one time.”
“One time too many. Come on, let’s just check out the exhibit. There’s still a lot left to see.”
“Whatever.” But Eden turned and led the way out of the room. “Just so you know, I’m not about to freak out or any—quick, hide!”
“Wha—“ But Sage was cut off as Eden pulled her behind a nearby pillar. “What’s going—“ Eden shushed her with a hoof but Sage batted it away. “Stop, dammit; what’s going on?”
Eden jerked her head to the side, where a pair of ponies were walking. One of them was a pony she’d never seen before, a blue mare with a yellow mane. She looked around the room as if it bored her. She was leading a brown pony along as he fiddled with his notes and muttered to himself. “No no, can’t be right. Data incorrect, inconsistent with current memory count. Certain of use of regalia?”
It was Tweed. He looked exactly as he had the last time Eden had seen him, fretting away as she had stormed out of the café. Eden shrank back. Had he followed her? No; there was no way. Was there? Sage prodded her.
“What’s going on?”
“Those ponies,” Eden said, pointing. “They’re with Lyra.”
“The mare from the bar?” For a moment, an expression of anger flashed across Sage’s face. “How do you know?”
Eden watched as the pair walked into another room. “Kind of a long story,” she said. “I’ll explain later.”
“You’ll explain—wait, you didn’t take her up on that meeting, did you?”
Eden didn’t turn around. Sage smacked her face. “Of course you did; what am I saying?”
“I said I’ll explain later. Now come on.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Well, obviously I’m going to…” Eden trailed off. What were they going to do? It wasn’t like Tweed and his friend were bothering them. “…do nothing, I guess.”
“No you’re not,” Sage said, fatigue in her voice. “We’re going to pretend like we didn’t see them, but that’s going to bug you too much and you’ll try to slip away from me to eavesdrop on them, but you’re really bad at deception and you’ll just annoy me and probably make them uncomfortable at the same time, since there’s no way you’ll eavesdrop on them without them finding out. So how about instead of you earning the enmity of at least three different ponies, we cut out the middleman and you go talk to them?”
Eden smacked her lips. “Ooh, you are in form today.”
“I try. Now go on.”
“You’re not coming?”
“I think I’m going to sit this one out, if you don’t mind. They weren’t exactly happy to see me last time.”
“Oh.” Eden blushed. “Right. I’ll see you in a few.”
“Eden?” Eden paused. Sage shuffled her hooves. “Just don’t… nevermind.”
There was something in her face that Eden couldn’t quite read. She filed it away for a later conversation. “Don’t worry, Sage,” she said, “It’ll only be a minute.”
“I’ll be around.”
But Eden was already walking into the room that she had seen Tweed enter. It displayed a number of domestic objects, silverware, plates, broken pieces of furniture. The vast majority were marked with a stylized symbol for the sun. Eden’s eyes lingered on it for a moment before she saw Tweed. He and the other pony were standing in front of an ancient table, the same sun symbol marked across the top. As Eden stepped forward, their conversation came into focus.
“….this is the cutie mark of Celestia?” Tweed was saying.
“That’s right,” the other pony said. “Most of this furniture is royalist, from Vanhoover. There was an old house of the nobility there, and its ruins are right on the edge of the horizon.”
“Constant marker of power,” Tweed said. “Indicates propaganda, displays of adoration, respect. Absolute monarch?”
“Not since hundreds of years before we were born. She had veto power, though.”
“Hmm. Possible PR campaign. Celestia too powerful to not rule. Projected image of benevolence, Machiavellian power beneath.”
The other pony laughed. “You still don’t remember very much, do you?”
“Negative.”
Eden cleared her throat. Neither pony turned around. Tweed tapped his chin. “Uncertain, Lightning. Understand concept of benevolent diety, but pony history would suggest absolute power to lead to tyranny.”
“Maybe if one of us had it. But Celestia is different.”
“Excuse me,” Eden said. The blue pony, Lightning, glanced towards her, the expression on her face morphing from annoyance to shock in an instant. “Yes,” eden said, “thank you, but I have to ask—“
“T-twilight!” the pony whispered.
“Twilight?” Tweed said, turning around. His face took on a look of horror. “Oh dear.”
“My name’s not Twilight, thanks, but—“
“It’s you,” Lightning whispered. “When Lyra told me, I thought she was kidding, but no… you’re back.” She sniffed, and Eden noted with horror that her eyes were tearing up. “I can’t believe it.”
“Oh dear,” Tweed said, adjusting his bowtie and notes, looking anywhere but Eden. “Oh dear oh dear oh dear.”
“Tweed,” Eden said, “what are you doing here?”
“Could ask you the same,” Tweed said.
Eden blinked. “I’ve always had a fascination with the pre-Marks.” Her gaze shifted to Lightning, who seemed to be frozen in shock. “I’ve wanted to see this exhibit for months. Your turn.”
“Trying to regain memories,” Tweed said. “Numerous Equestrian artifacts. Hoping to find triggering materials.”
Lightning took a deep breath, shuddering as she did. She closed her eyes and composed herself. “Twilight, I’m sorry,” she said. “I lost control of myself for a moment. You shouldn’t have had to see that. It’s good to have you back.”
“You’re just as nutty as the rest of them,” Eden said.
“Bad idea, Lightning,” Tweed said. “Poor performance when tried by Lyra. At least Sunset isn’t with her.”
“If you’re referring to my friend, she’s in the other room,” Eden said, her ire rising. “In fact, come to think of it, I don’t know why I came over here at all. You people have been nothing but crazy jerks since we met. I’m sorry I bothered. Goodbye.”
“Wait!” Lightning said, the words jumping out of her throat as if she couldn’t stop them. Eden paused, and turned around.
“Yes?”
“I… I’m sorry,” Lightning said. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “You just look very much like someone we would all like to see again. What is your name?”
“Evenstar,” Eden said.
Lightning’s eyes jumped at the name, but she didn’t say anything. “Evenstar,” she said, “my name is Lightning Dust, and this is Time Turner, who prefers to be known as Tweed.”
“We’ve met.”
“We’re here to see if Tweed’s memories can be returned.”
“Because of the reincarnation.”
“Yes….” Lightning’s eyes flicked towards Tweed. “Most of my memories have returned, all but the last few years of my life. Tweed, on the other hand, only has fragments.”
“You’re saying that the pre-Mark civilization and whatever you claim to be a part of are one and the same?”
“Yes. The proper term was Equestria. It stretched across the subsolar region. And it was beautiful.”
“It would have been a fascinating place to see, yes. But it’s gone. Completely gone. And you are not making any sense.”
“Just… how about if I show you around? You don’t have to believe in any of this stuff, promise, but it would help me get some peace of mind. There’s some really interesting things to be seen in here, if you know what to look for.”
“What do you want from me, Lightning?” Eden said. “I don’t believe in any of this stuff, I’ve already said so.”
“I know, I know, but… just humor me?”
“I don’t even know you.”
“But you’re curious. I know you are. It’s a totally minimal risk on your part, after all. What are you afraid of?” A small smile touched her face. “That you’ll see something you might believe?”
“Hardly,” Eden snorted. “But… I suppose I’m not doing anything else.”
“Yes!” Lightning said, pumping a hoof. “You won’t regret this, Tw—Evenstar! I promise!”
“Yeah, well I already am, so if we could get this going, then—“
“Eden? Are you still in here?” Sage said, walking into the room.
The effect on Lightning was immediate. All the color drained from her face, which morphed in rapid succession from terror to hopelessness to confusion to rage. She took a step back, teeth bared. “You,” she hissed.
Eden blinked. “Not this again.”
Sage’s jaw set. “Oh, hi Eden,” she said, walking up to her friend and very deliberately ignoring the others. “It’s good to see you here, friend. We’re such good friends, too.”
“That’s right, Sage,” Eden said, turning away from the other two ponies. She could see the glint of fire in Sage’s eye. “I sure am enjoying this exhibit. Thanks for doing me the favor of getting these tickets. You’re a real friend.”
“It can’t be,” Lightning whispered. “Lyra didn’t say—“
“Would you have?” Tweed said, cutting her off.
The expression of rage returned to Lightning’s face. “Cut the crap, Shimmer!” she shouted, stepping forward. Sage rolled her eyes and turned towards her. “What are you planning with Twilight? Answer me, you beast!”
“Oh dear,” Tweed said.
What little humor that had been in Sage’s face vanished. “Don’t you ever,” she hissed, “call me a beast. You don’t know a thing about me, and if it weren’t for the fact that I’d probably get arrested, I’d kick your ass right now.”
“You wouldn’t dare, Shimmer,” Lightning hissed, a grim satisfaction on her face. “It would break your cover. Can’t have Twilight figuring your plans out too soon, now, eh?”
“You’re crazy,” Sage said. “Absolutely insane.”
“The only insane one here is you!”
A few ponies looked their way. Tweed laid a hoof on Lightning’s shoulder. “That’s enough,” he said. “Lightning, control yourself. Not an area friendly to us.”
Lightning glanced at him, then back at Eden who was watching the exchange with wide eyes. She licked her lips. “Fine. Eden, if you want to learn more, come back sometime when that thing isn’t with you.”
“You—“ Sage made to pounce, but Eden held her back. “Don’t, Sage. It’s not worth it.”
“Easy for you to say, princess,” Sage muttered.
Lightning’s eyes flashed. “Come on, Tweed,” she said. “We’re leaving.” With a flick of her tail, she turned towards the door. Tweed hurried after her, casting his eyes back at the two ponies who stood frozen in the middle of the floor.
“Apologies, apologies,” he muttered. “She is temperamental. Nothing personal. We will meet again.”
“Unlikely,” Eden said.
“Much is happening. More than we understand. No choice in the matter; we will meet again. I will be returning here soon. If you want to know more, find me.” With a final bow, he scurried out of the room behind Lightning.
“Well,” Eden said, taking a step back, “that was a disaster. I’m sorry, Sage. Those ponies are the worst sort.”
“They aren’t fit to lick my hooves,” Sage muttered.
“What’s that?”
Her friend shook her head. “Nothing,” she said. “Come on, Eden. Let’s see the rest of the exhibit. I worked hard to get these tickets.”
“No you didn’t.”
“Okay fine I didn’t. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to have a good time now that we’re here.”
“Right behind you,” Eden said, trotting after her friend. “There’s still a fair amount of stuff to see. There’s the room of sculptures, reconstructions of dwelling types, writing samples….”
She chattered on, unaware that a shadow had crossed over her friend’s eyes. Sage walked behind her, her ears flicking periodically as if to swat away an errant fly.
A few hours later, the two ponies were sitting on the cable car, silent as they watched the crowd part around them. Eden had done her best to keep a cheerful mood for the rest of the exhibit, and had almost succeeded, but there was a mood that had fallen over them since Lightning and Tweed had left, a mood that slunk in between gaps in the conversation, settling down around them and muffling their mood to the point of dreariness. Every few minutes Eden would look over at her friend and try to say something, but Sage was looking out the window, giving no indication that she wanted conversation at all.
The cable car rolled to a stop at the downtown exit. Sage’s ears flicked around. The doors opened and ponies got on and off. Sage stood up and walked towards the front of the car. Eden started.
“Where are you going?”
“Just out,” Sage said.
“Well hold on, let me get my stuff.”
“No, it’s okay… get home. I know you’ve got some work to do.”
“What?”
But Sage had already left the cable car, walking down the street filled with ponies, threading her way through the crowd with practiced ease. For a moment, Eden almost followed, but then the doors closed and the car began to stutter along once again. She sat back down and watched as her friend disappeared into the crowd. She was silent as the car rode the rest of the way to her stop, then she got off and began the long walk up the hill.
Back at their apartment, Eden made a beeline for the old journal. She flipped through the pages, searching for one drawing in particular. “Lightning Dust… Lightning… where are you… gotcha.”
Staring out at her was a crude drawing of a pony that looked remarkably like the one at the museum. Her gold mane was blowing in an imaginary breeze, and she stared out of the page with a look of arrogance.
This is Lightning Dust, said the journal in Eden’s messy scrawl. She’s in the Wonderbolts, like Rainbow Dash, but she’s much meaner. Lightning Dust doesn’t care about anything other than winning, and that’s not awesome at all. When she and Rainbow got in a fight, Lightning was kicked out of the Wonderbolts. Rainbow was happy at the time, but later she felt bad.
“Wonderbolts, eh?” Eden muttered. “I’ve heard that before.” She flipped through the pages until she found one with three pegasi in flight, wearing matching jumpsuits. “The Wonderbolts,” she read.
Rainbow wants to be a Wonderbolt one day. They’re the fastest, most agile pegasi in Equestria, but none of them are as good as Rainbow. She’s going to become the leader of the Wonderbolts one day, I know it!
The pegasi in the middle was a familiar blue one, her rainbow mane flying about her face. A multicolored contrail led out from behind her; the trails left by the other flyers were only one color.
“So if this Rainbow is the more important one, where is she?” Eden said. “Looks like Twilight didn’t like this Lightning character much at all.” She felt better for the way she’d treated Lightning in the museum. “Well, she had been a jerk, talking to Sage like that.” She paused, licked her lips. “I wonder….”
She began flipping through the pages again, searching for any sign of the familiar red unicorn. Her eyes skipped past pictures of sea monsters, farmers, and castles, but nowhere could she find anyone resembling her friend. She flipped through the whole book then went back to the beginning, scanning the text for anything that might provide clues to her whereabouts.
She came to the last page in the journal and something caught her eye. It was a picture of a dark blue alicorn sitting on a throne, her face pointed towards the ground. Below, Eden had written a small paragraph.
Dear Diary,
Princess Luna has taken over from Princess Celestia for a little while, while Princess Celestia takes care of some business up north. I don’t really understand what’s going on, but apparently a student she had before me, somepony named Sunset Shimmer, has resurfaced after vanishing almost ten years ago. Celestia didn’t really say what had happened to Sunset or where she had gone, but whatever is going on, it’s really important. I’ve decided to stay with Princess Luna here at the castle for a few days while she gets everything sorted out. Some of the nobles, particularly that lout Blueblood, have begun to stir up a fuss.
There the page, and the journal, ended. Eden turned it over and scanned the back, but could find nothing illuminating. She gritted her teeth. “Sunset Shimmer….” There were no pictures of the mare, but Eden’s mind flashed back to Lightning Dust’s fury.
“This is ridiculous,” Eden murmured, flipping through the pages. “This is crazy. Sage is really bothered by this, and she’s right… just put the book down, Eden. Just put the book down.”
Yet she kept looking through the journal, even as the clear sky was again covered and thick, cold raindrops began to fall.
Ashes. She tasted ashes and blood. Soot filled her nose, clogging her throat, making her gasp and spit. Her tongue felt alien in her mouth. She tried to stand up, to get her bearings, but her leg shot out a jolt of pain and she fell back with a cry.
Around her, the room burned. Wooden planks fell from the ceiling as the great stone pillars cracked and crumbled. She looked left and right, blinking tears away from her eyes, searching for something… anything.
A figure in the smoke, walking towards her. She opened her mouth to cry out but a powerful magic clamped around her body, freezing her to the ground. She could only watch in mounting terror as the figure walked closer. It came out of the smoke, its red coat stained with soot and ash, its eyes wild and full of hate. She tried to move, to cry for help, to scream, but she could do nothing as the other figure bore down on her.
WAKE UP!
Eden’s eyes shot open with a gasp. Something was on her, attacking her. She yelled and kicked out with her legs, catching something soft and furred. There was a grunt, and the attacker fell back on the ground. Eden leapt to her feet, eyes wild and searching, trying to find the source of the fire and smoke.
“Eden, Eden! Calm down, it’s me!”
“S—Sage?” Eden sputtered. Her friend looked up at her from the floor, massaging a spot on her chest where Eden’s hooves had hit.
“Wow, girl,” Sage said. “You didn’t tell me you were practicing your kicks.”
“Oh my gosh, Sage, I’m so sorry,” Eden said, kneeling down next to her. “Are you okay? Oh, man, I—“
“Hey hey, it’s cool. Just remind me not to sneak up on you while you’re sleeping.”
“Sleeping?” Eden helped Sage to her feet and looked back at the couch. She could see the journal laying partially open next to where she had been sitting.
“You fell asleep on the couch again,” Sage said. “I don’t know why you do that. The bed’s right in the other room.”
Eden picked up the journal and set it on the end table. Sage cast the journal a suspicious look and sat down on the couch.
“What time is it?” Eden said.
“Well past our bedtimes,” Sage said. She gestured to the dining table, where a greasy paper bag was sitting. “There are some fries in there, if you want them.”
Eden realized she was ravenous. “Thanks,” she said, getting off of te couch and grabbing the bag. The fries were cold but expertly seasoned. “This is great, thanks!”
“Don’t mention it.”
The two of them sat in silence for a while as Eden chewed. Sage looked like she wanted to say something, but every time she opened her mouth she closed it again.
The clock on the wall struck three. Eden blinked.
“Wow, you weren’t kidding about the time.”
“Nope.”
“Where… where did you go, if you don’t mind me asking.”
Sage sighed. “Just to an old dive. I hadn’t been for a while. Not since I started college here.”
“Oh.” Eden reached for another fry. “Did you like it?”
“Yeah, it was good to see some old faces. Get some decent food for a change.”
“See this, folks, not even Ashen Sage herself can stand her cooking.”
“You’re real clever, Eden.”
“I try.”
The two of them shared a laugh and for a moment a smile touched Sage’s face again. She looked at the ground and snorted.
“Listen, Eden…”
“Hmm?”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For standing with me back at the museum.”
“What? Of course. Those ponies were way out of line; anyone would have done the same.”
“Yeah, well I know it seems obvious now, but there was a weird moment when it felt like… I don’t know, exactly.”
Eden bit her lip. She knew what Sage was saying. For a second, she had almost thought that Lightning Dust was on to something. She shook her head.
“No,” she said. “I know it can sound like that sometimes, but you’re fine. Those ponies are crazy, and you’re right about me. I need to keep my distance from this stuff for a while. It’s interesting, but not worth going down whatever rabbit hole they’ve found themselves in.”
“Hah, yeah,” Sage said. “I know what you mean. Just out of curiosity, though, I’m not in your journal, am I? Not that I believe any of that stuff. In fact, let me amend the question. There isn’t a pony in there that looks like me, enough so that your fevered brain might draw weird connections that don’t actually exist, is there?”
Eden thought about Sunset Shimmer. “Nope,” she said. “There’s one for that pony at the museum, Lightning Dust, but you remain conspicuously absent.”
“Oh, well.” Sage sank down in her chair. A wave of anxiety seemed to fall away from her. “I don’t know if I should be relieved or offended.”
“Offended, I think,” Eden said. “Seems you didn’t even matter enough for six-year-old me to consider writing you in.”
“She’d probably never seen a red pony in her life.”
“Well, now that you mention it….”
Sage laughed. “Get out of here, blue,” she said, standing up and stretching. “We both need to get some sleep tonight, and I don’t know about you but I’m beat. Crazy ponies with weird vendettas will do that to you.”
“I know it,” Eden said. “Get yourself some sleep. I’ll see you later.”
“You’re not going to bed?”
“Not yet,” Eden said. “I’ve got some work I’d like to catch up on first.”
“Well, alright then, but try to sleep. You know that caffeine doesn’t work on you anymore.”
“Who needs caffeine when you have willpower?”
“Who needs willpower when you have deadlines?”
“Now you’re speaking my language. I’ll see you later.”
“Night.” Sage walked into her room and closed the door. Eden’s smile faded. She turned back towards the journal. She picked it up, looking at the symbol on the front. There was no doubt; it was the same symbol as the one at the museum.
She made to set the book down but stopped, eyes glancing back at the door to Sage’s room. She wouldn’t need to know… and a little more digging might just prove that this was all some sort of weird coincidence.
She walked into her bedroom, carrying the journal. “Tomorrow,” she told it, placing it in her bedside cabinet, “you and I are going to do a little more digging. Just a little. And Sage doesn’t need to know.”
Something pricked at her conscience, but she pushed it to the side and shut the lights off. It was quite a while before she could actually fall asleep.
Stats
Page generated in 0.02 seconds
Total duration
1,028 users online
307,083 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
So far so Great
Cheers
Twilight, Rainbow, Rarity, and Sunset will be badass in this story, right? If so, then when do they start?
Aaaaah, no, is that all there is so far? I'm not a huge fan of fanfiction but this is fantastic, I can't wait to see more. I really like how you're able to introduce us to this world and characters without using a huge exposition dump, which is something that's often an issue even with professional writers, and I'm having no trouble getting familiar with and liking the universe and characters you've created. The differentiation between different coloured ponies is really well done, too- you can see how it must have shaped pony society without it being hamfisted or being all anyone ever thinks about. All too often fics that include racism or any sort of discrimination focus the entire story and characters on it and everything else suffers as a result. It's great to see that that doesn't happen here, and instead manages to play a fairly major role without defining the characters or the story. It reminds me a little bit of the hemospectrum from Homestuck, but that's probably just a coincidence. Love it so far, keep up the good work :)
I absolutely love what you've got going on here Phoney. I don't know if this is a crossover or what, but the worldbuilding feels rich and textured. I mean, starting with a random lavender unicorn who happens to be super-nerdy and studious made me roll my eyes, but the worldbuilding alone pulled me forward (pulled me right into your justifications for the above lavender shade, of course).
And yes, you had Spec run to meet her employer, but I didn't get the significance until Eden's father mentioned that bit about her thesis focusing on helping pegasi fly. Only then did I really notice that unicorns weren't unicorning, either.
The way you introduced these elements into the story was spot-on.
The story's not perfect, of course. There are remarkably few typos, but the segment where Eden is in her old bedroom is oddly sprinkled with errors. And there are some clunky bits of narrative here and there.
Just sort of clunky. Oh, I was also sad that your two bartenders were completely interchangeable, despite being separated by a thousand miles and ethnic barriers. Also, how did Spec get her wingblades back after leaving them in that warg's neck? She didn't recover them from the one she and Amber downed, but she used them again in the fight at the camp.
All my nitpicks are small, however, and they're meant with love. For every bit of clunky narrative I spotted, you've got two or three moments of narrative brilliance. The way you took a snapshot of the camp fight during Spec's moment of flipping through the air? That gave me some serious chills. That's how you write action! You're a much better writer than I was when I started, and you're weaving together a fascinating story here.
I intend to become quite cross with you should you fail to continue writing.
7127499
Thanks so much for the kind words! Something I'm really going for in this story is to have inequality and stuff play a role without making it some kind of parable. This stuff shapes ponies lives, but it's far from all they think about, and they're soon going to have a lot more problems to deal with as well.
7140525
I'm really glad you like it; it's not a crossover but I've worked hard on worldbuilding and it's really gratifying to see that it's been noticed. Something I'm trying really hard to do is to build the world without expo dumps/making the story about the world instead of the characters, and I'm really glad it's succeeded so far. Your concerns are also valid; especially about the bartenders and the wingblades. I might go in and correct that hole/tidy up some grammar and make sure everything is ship shape. Also I hear you about the opening; "lavender" is kinda a cringe-worthy word around these parts, after all. I'm thinking about putting in a prologue that eases the reader into the story and hooks them better than what I've got so far. A good opening is vital to keeping interest, after all.
7128143
Thanks for the input, and I hear you. This isn't exactly a completely new concept. I'm hoping, however, to inject some new life into it, and that the story will grow based on the strength of its characters and plot, regardless of how the opening might look similar to other stories. I've spent so much time worrying about the story I ought to write, I never could start on the story I wanted to write. Anyway, I hope you'll stick around and keep reading, but if it's not your cup of tea I understand.
Saw this fic on Equestria Daily and came to check it out (I'll admit that I came for the cover, but ended up getting stuck with the plot).
I was not disappointed.
Honestly, the plot is beyond awesome, and the thing that really impressed me were the different names for canon characters. ( Eden, Spec, Sage, etc. ) and the location names too. Seriously, I would have (and already have in a fix of mine) strayed away from trying to create new concepts and names for stuff present in the current canonical universe. But what really made me really happy is that you really seem to have poured you heart and soul into your characters and story, with near flawless exposition, suspense, fancy plot stuffs and all.
I know this is not the best of reviews, but I just want to express my admiration for 'Faultlines' and its concepts.
Please continue writing!
Holy crap, this story has me hook line and sinker. There's so much mystery and I'm a huge sucker for world building, mythos, legends and civilizations long past. Throw in reincarnation and I just salivate as you slowly have each character rediscover themselves (even if it is maddening half the time. Argh you just had to have Lightning Dust get in a fight and prevent Eden from going with her!) Really liked seeing Lightning Dust too. While I'll hope she will be a reoccurring character(one of my favorite characters), I won't be surprised that you'll shuffling through notable background ponies to drive home the point that many have regained their memories. And Sunset! Sunset, what did you do? (BTW I really hope this story works out well for her; I've got a soft spot for Sunset and many times it seems only tragedy awaits her) What happened to Equestria?
The only sad thing I can foresee is that by the end there will not be a return to the Equestria of old. The damage has been done. Though I am curious as to the regaining of memories. Do ponies simply remember who they were as a different individual, or do they actually become their past selves as the memories return? That can lead to some tragic realizations. Will the new pony that is Eden, be lost from existence once the identity of Twilight returns? Will she become Twilight Sparkle, or will she only inherit memories that have been planted into her mind? Both seem sad to an extent. The former for the destruction of seemingly different individual and the latter for only allowing Eden and others to glimpse through a window at who they once were, their past selves still gone. I'm inclined to think that they become who they once were, since Lyra and Lightning act full like their past selves.
I already mentioned world building, I really like how you've handled it so far; just dropping terms without explaining them(keeps dialogue natural, and of course the characters aren't going to explain something that they already know as normal), but alluding to what they mean, like with the cycle referring to a method of time keeping. Though it would be nice to get a little more codified info on the state of what nations exist, where they exist etc. I am a little lost there. And the mention of refugees, I'm hoping we'll get more context with that as well, I don't think that was a throwaway piece of info.
I could ramble more about how awesome this story this is. Seriously, this is shaping up to be on the scale of Sunset of Time (don't know if you've read it or not, great Sunset story), Harmony Theory and the sadly defunct Powers of Harmony.
So, if I didn't already make myself clear, this story is awesome. I await your next chapter (and hopefully you're better than me at updating ha!)
6844021 Expanding on this a bit there should be more proper descriptions of characters I think! I get confused, especially with the long long bouts of dialog, just who's saying what. sunset was described as red constantly but she's really an orange colored pelt with a fire mane and just 'red' that threw me off hardcore. with a story like this, I think it's important to show the audience who these characters are to start with, then build up on how different they are. It would ease people into reading it a bit better, certainly. (this seems to be amended in the introduction of rarity but is lacking from everyone else)
something to break up the dialog would be good too since you have a lot of it, especially in the rainbow sections there. movements and what they are doing would be good things to add to flesh out the scene more, as these are all animated characters and personalities!
while some of the plot points are given a bit heavy handed for my taste the structure you have built is pretty solid, even if the color classing is hard to get your head around. if you had something explaining it properly at the start it might be understood better, rather than bits and pieces strewn throughout.
all that said I do like this story! I think it needs a bit more fleshing out in the descriptions and overall story, but it's got some excellent foundation and intrigue.