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A love triangle is made as Carrot Top and Little Strongheart compete for Braeburn's affection, and life will never be the same again! Derpy gets a taste of cowpony life as she integrates herself into a new town and Dinky will never be taken seriously with her mother around to treat her like a foal. Join our favorite background ponies in some frontier life, adventure, and even romance?
"...You Caught Slim Jim."
"Ooh, Yeeeeaaah!"
Why the fuck is this story so fucking wonderful.
It's well written, hilarious, and heartwarming all at the same time.
I wanna see a spin off series: Ditzy and Strongheart Bounty Hunters. I really like the friendship chemistry between the two of them. This chapter was great because it gave us a focus on Ditzy and Little Strongheart and really fleshed out their characters.
Peace Out
RIP Macho Man.
>You gotta share
>Share
Now that's what I call foreshadowing
Okay, that was hilarious. I love the friendship that popped up between Ditzy and Little Strongheart.
(It's Ditzy / not Ditsy. A Z remember.)
Also, Ditzy getting Strongheart's name wrong reminds me a lot of Dragon Ball Abridged (Team Four Star)
Isn't that right little green?
"My name is Dende." 
Aww Yeah! Background ponies unite for a grand adventure! I don't know who to cheer for though...
So I'll just compensate with this.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAaaAAAAAAAAPLEOOSA!
We seriously need a Braeburn emoticon.
Wow, amazing work. I would recommend trying to rephrase "By the way, where's your partner, Ditzy?". It sounds like Ditzy is being addressed, rather than being the subject matter.
Other than that, one big middle finger for you for keeping me up too late, reading yet another amazing fanfic.
Live long and prosper,
AnOddRadish
good guy fancy pants ftw
What's strange about this story is that the chapters progressively get worse and worse. The first chapter got me all riled-up and VERY interested in the love triangle between Carrot, Strongheart, and Braeburn. What I wanted to see, more than anything, was for you to build on the triangle for awesome dramatic and romantic effects. Your second chapter, however, left me disappointed, as it focused on Derpy and Strongeheart finding a job, of all things. In your third chapter, you damn near destroyed any hopes of a dwamatic wuv twiangle because you made Carrot and Little Strongheart to be best friends or something. By this point, you should change the story's summary to them becoming best friends and having silly little misadventures in Appleloosa instead of what you have already. But your fourth chapter sucked even MORE energy and suspense from the story by describing a very petty scene of Breaburn running around like a doofus trying to get Carrot all better. Honestly, I felt like you wasted a lot of energy (and a lot of time) writing that particular chapter. It really serves no purpose to the story. It did not progress the story at all, it was just filler that, for some reason, was pages and pages long. I honestly believe that if you deleted the chapter, no significant changes to the story would be present.
Now, I know you are trying to write a silly comedy/romance thing, which is fine, I can respect that. But really, you are almost completely leaving out the ROMANCE part of the whole deal, save for some references to Carrot and Strongheart's crush. You are making the story fall flat, which is a disappointment, because I really REALLY liked your first chapter and saw great potential in it.
This is not a story focused around a high-drama love-triangle. There will be chapters that focus on the relationship dynamic between the three, but they are not the total focus of the story and there will be lots of chapters that focus on other characters' relationships with one another: Derpy, Dinky, and Silverstar to name a few. Regardless, I hope you found some enjoyment in all this.
Darn it... This is well done, you're giving lots of detail for our two leading ladies and its making it harder to decide which I like more. I like that you're allowing all these plots to develop slowly at their own pace instead of rushing any of them. It's more natural that way.
As the knight said in Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade "He Has chosen poorly." I actually feel bad for Strongheart, It was a scientist vs. The chief's adoptive daughter. I hope this doesn't effect her friendship with Ditzy Doo, because they are like an awesome buddy cop movie team. My only question about any fic featuring Aplleloosa is where are the dragons if the buffalo respect them then I'd assume there'd be a couple of them at least.That's how Strongheart could get braeburn is by ridding on Falcor.
Peace Out.
Poor Strongheart, really have to feel for the girl. Especially since some alcohol was involved in the Kiss between Carrot and Braeburn. I hope it doesn't effect the Derpy/Strongheart friendship. Loving the story Star. Maybe we can get one earlier than in a month?
I really enjoyed this. Especially the part that involved Carrot Top winning over Little Strongheart.
As for critique - what can I say? I think this is a brilliant shipfic - maybe the best one I have read.
The characterizations are what makes this story fantastic, even those without a personality are portrayed perfectly. I would like a bit more descriptions weaved into everything though.
I can hardly wait for upcoming chapters, even though I normally dislike the idea of love triangles.
Well, I have to say, Carrot Top should get Braeburn. I think she deserves someone like him. Not that I mean any ill will towards Little Stongheart! BY THE CELESTIAL SISTERS ABOVE NO! I want her to be happy too, but, as it was mentioned many times, he is a bit too old for her, and I think she needs someone her own age. (That and Carrot Top reminds me a lot of...well...me. She's so lonely. All she wants is to be loved...Little Strongheart does too...OH, curse you author. Now, I don't know what to do.)
Life catches up with us all. Glad to see an update though! Personally I think this is one of my favorite stories of yours. Wish you worked on it more often, but each update is always fun and interesting. Keep it up Starwind Dood. Great chapter.
Here's a few errors I just picked up whilst reading:
1) "Oh my aching head," Baeburn
2) Huh, oh! Breaburn!
3) "Caaaaaaaaaaaaroooooooooot!" Derpy called out from the sky. "Carot! Braeburn!
4) So, you ran off here when you say Braeburn and I... kissing?
I'll be honest, i enjoyed this story so far but i feel it's starting to drag itself for too long, like some inconclusive romance manga where the male protagonist is either so stupid, so gay or so clueless to start becoming irritating.
In my opinion maybe you should start drawing to a conclusion of this arc and spare some ideas for an eventual follow-up.
I feel for Strong Heart but in the end I'm glad Carrot got her stallion (or maybe not, guess I'll find out for sure next chapter) I normally really dislike it when alcohol gets involved. Not cause I have anything against it, that's far from it. lt's because I hate how most people use it like a crutch. I just REALLY dislike the "main character gets piss drunk then tells his/her love interest EVERYTHING" that some stories do. Why make me read a whole story for that, right? maybe that's just me 
but i think you did it right. not to overbearing and felt nice. Really looking forward to the story's climax.
Not only is little StrongHeart back in the game but this isn't the last chapter 
I am so use to finding the good stories after being completed i just jump to the conclusion that this chapter was it. I'm still Hopeful that Carrot Top will win this but i wouldn't mind seeing a StrongHeart ending. 
Oh darling don't fret over your updating time to much. Anypony with taste can tall you that a flawless diamond is not made overnight. The last thing i want are imperfections dear 
Derpy 
sliverstar 
i can dig that if it comes true 
This chapter felt like it came out of nowhere. still a fun read for sure 
I guess that's life for you. Just cant tell where its going till your there. Each chapter makes me want to read the next that much more. Keep up the fine work.
Yes, that is much better! Using the age-old "alcohol misunderstanding" was uncreative, but this certainly made up for it. The arguing between Carrot Top and Derpy seemed life-like, and Dinky reaction to the fighting, especially when she thought "Adults are always strong and able to handle anything." I felt so bad for her. You wrote it very well. I also had lots of sympathy for Derpy.
When Carrot Top and Derpy made up, I felt like crying. Derpy seemingly impromptu apology was much like her and the way they collapsed was very emotional.
It's been pretty good! I still crack up at the "mature filly" conversations.
I started this chapter half a month ago believing that, for once, I could get a chapter of this done with more than a few hours of wiggle room left! Apparently, my life in the suburbs told me otherwise. Still, this has go to be one of my favorite chapters to write yet! So I hope you all enjoy it.
This chapter was fantastic and did a great job moving along the story and fleshing out the themes and stuff. The "metaphor" Derpy purchases is a fantastic vehicle with which to illustrate Carrot Top's support of her. The scene in the kitchen between them is a great moment. Carrot and Strongheart have a dynamic that is increasingly nuanced. His chapter does well to continue that trend.
My criticism is the glaring tonal dissonance caused by some of the things said by the train robbers.
"Assault costs extra, sugar," Crabapple calmly moaned as she bucked Little Strongheart's chest, sending the cow flying right onto Carrot Top. "Are you ready to pay up, one way or another?"
Ambiguous, to say the least, but vague enough that you could assume Crabapple just means she will take the money by force or perhaps beat them up.
"Well, this is really interestin' now," Crabapple remarked giddly. "Somepony go tell Wrench to get this thing goin' again, and why don't a dozen of you follow after that calf and her gal pal and bring them back here. Don't rough her up though, I get first dibs."
Here, violent intent is implied, and the robbers seem to be cliche cartoon train robbers.
"Little fillies want to play?" the squeaky stallion taunted as he trotted closer to the table. "I don't bite, much." He was a foot away from the table, grinning with all twelve of his dirty yellow teeth, savoring the idea of his helpless prey. He didn't see the brown and moustached earth pony sneak up behind him and smack him with a two-by-four. He flopped to the ground.
Again, what he's saying seems to be fight banter, though it could be construed in others ways. During this part the strange threats the bandits make start to connect with the threat of those nasty pies they were throwing.
"Oh, boys!" she yelled as loud as she could. "Get in here! We've caught ourselves some souvenirs at last!" No one came. "Boys! I said souvenirs! Get in here!" Still, no one came. "Oh for my sake, what are they doing!" Crabapple stomped and huffed all the way to the cart opening, and her eyes nearly bugged off her face. Nothing, there was nothing but the mountain. "Where the hay is the rest of the train!"
I guess she meant the apples, but what happens next throws me off completely.
Crabapple spat. "Hardly. Hands!"
In a second, the hulking pony was back on his hooves. "Bring me the buffalo and the orange one. We're about to get sensual in here."
"What?" Carrot Top gasped. The hulking pony lifted her with one foreleg, and she had no strength to resist. Together with Little Strongheart, held tightly against Hand's smelly chest. "Oh, Celestia, I can't take much more of this..."
Okay, what the hell.
"I don't know. These two are beginning to seem more appetizing than your squirming self." She pressed down on Carrot Top. "Are you ready for supper, sugar?"
This gets an extra level of creepy because she is talking to Braeburn, her cousin. Unless supper means punching them in the face and appetizing somehow means how much she wants to hurt them. Knuckle sandwich perhaps.
I am pointing this stuff out because if you are trying to imply the the robbers are sexually harassing the protagonists, in particular that Hands was about to molest them or worse, it marks a distinctive shift in the tone of the story. Just dropping sexual predators into a story that hasn't gone that dark before isn't something you do lightly. Also, no one addresses it, and neither Carrot Top nor Strongheart are traumatized by it. If that means Hands just wanted a kiss, or Crabapple was trying to be witty, the story itself should make that more clear. Currently, it appears that the main characters are in denial or just completely clueless or naive. Braeburn in particular seems to have no grasp of how bad the situation was. Making villains vaguely scummy in understandable, but make it too vague and the readers may assume the worst. It is confusing and very distracting when writers do this.
Thanks for the insight, and I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. As far as Crabapple and Hands go, I wanted to give her a Femme Fatalle vibe that puts a strange level of seduction into everything, but just her. Hands is her dimwitted muscle that's as sweet as can be when alone (not original, but my focus was on fleshing out the characters in a more active way, not providing original recurring villains. Don't expect Crabapple to show up again. The rest of her posse aren't the brightest bunch either and only know how to throw threats and rotten pies). I wanted only her lines to be open to interpretation.
As far as what was going through Carrot Top's and Little Strongheart's mind, Little Strongheart thought she was simply going to get a hoof to the face, Carrot Top was assuming far worse, which only attributed to her growing nausea over the situation.
It didn't really come off in the last post I put, but I would really like to thank you for telling me what you felt was wrong and that you still loved this little story I work on. It gets hard to write sometimes, so thank you, really, for taking some time on this story.
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nice chapter BTW 
Image: http://i.imgur.com/DwMjr.jpg
but its not over yet so well just have to see what happens now
)
(Though a drunk kiss shouldn't be considered much anyways.) (Still feel sorry for Strongheart and Carrot Top though. Someone's going to get hurt.)
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