Twilight Sparkle and the science of Cheese

by The Infinity Doctor

"...and that's how Equestria was made!"

Author's Note:

So, yeah! I wrote this!

"How is this possible?! You have no magic!" Tirek screamed, staring up at the six as they floated above him in all their sparkling-rainbow glory.

"You're wrong, Tirek!" Twilight replied triumphantly "I may have given you my Alicorn magic, but I carry-"

"WHAT THE HELL?!" screamed Rainbow, pointing a hoof toward the sky, stopping Twilight mid-sentence.

Twilight huffed, and glanced upward- only to find an expansive spaceship hurtling towards them, the hull starting to catch fire as it entered the atmosphere.

Fluttershy squealed in fear as she ducked, screwing her eyes shut.

"Don't worry- we're nice and snuggly inside our 'friend-zone'!" Pinkie Pie stated cheerfully.

"Oh dear- then Tirek-" Rarity began.

She was cut-off promptly, as the ship tore into the ground, kicking up grass, trees, and dirt. The red-hot hull, still on fire, by the way, slammed into Tirek. The centaur wailed in agony as his body mutilated by the spacecraft, his screams dying away as he was pushed over the edge of the nearby canyon, dirt and rock falling after him, sealing the now-deceased dark lord into his well-deserved prison.

"Well," Rarity stated, glancing at the other five "that was rather convenient, wasn't it?"

"A little too convenient, if you as me." Twilight replied, staring at the searing hull of the ship in awe and curiousity.

"This. is. AWESOME!" Rainbow cried, mashing her muzzle against the wall of the bubble, her eyes alight with the same wonderment that Twilight held.

"Wow, a big disaster like that, and nopony got hurt!" Applejack exclaimed, glancing back at Ponyville, just as a giant explosion of rainbow-colored magic exploded, spreading all across Equestria.

Twilight lit her horn, carefully lowering the protective bubble to the ground. Once their hooves were firmly planted on the ground, the group quickly decided to investigate the ship, seeing as it was the only logical thing to do after defeating a magic-stealing, centuries-old centaur.

Rainbow sped towards the ship, eager to peek inside- and, if at all possible, kick some evil alien flank while they were at it. Did aliens have flanks? Were they evil? There was only one way to find out!

"Rainbow, wait!" Twilight shrieked in panic.

The polychromatic mare stopped and glanced back at Twilight, her hoof just a few inches from a foghat grey hatch leading into the ship.

"That just fell out of the sky! At those temperatures, your entire hoof could-"

The other five gasped as Rainbow's hoof touched the hatch, nothing significant happening, whatsoever.

"Wh-What?!" the alicorn cried, dashing to the hatch and tentatively testing it with the tip of a forehoof "It's completely cooled! H-How is that possible?!"

"Maybe it's their alien tech?" Rainbow suggested.

Twilight rounded on Rainbow, furious.

"How could you have just done that?! You could've scalded your entire-"

"Pegasi can feel the air temperature, remember Twi?" the Pegasus replied smugly, flexing her wings "I knew it wasn't hot, because it wasn't giving off any heat, after it landed."

The purple alicorn had no reply, only blushing furiously as she glanced away.

"Well, at any rate," Rarity stated, trotting up and knocking daintily on the hatch "I'm sure these creatures can be reasoned-"

The hatch popped open, smoke pouring out of the opening.

"Oh, like I haven't seen this a thousand times." Rainbow commented.

"Rainbow, shush-" Twilight hissed, sweat pouring down her neck.

A dinky gumball machine came puttering out of the ship, muffin tins taped around its middle. It held a plunger in one hand, and a fountain pen in the other.

"Surrender, maggot carrying flesh-bags, or I'll...exterminate....you..."

Rarity coughed politely into her hoof.

"Nope." the gumball machine stated, tossing its 'weapons'. They landed with a soft thump as it sputtered back into the ship.

"Well? Are we goin' ta follow it?" Applejack asked as the six of them stood in silence.

"It's the only logical solution." Pinkie replied, bounding into the craft.

"So...what's S.O.L stand for?" Rainbow asked, taking notice of the black letters printed on the side of the building.

"No idea, sugarcube," Applejack replied "Ah suppose we're going ta find out."

"Commercial sign in thirty seconds." an oddly beautiful voice stated.

"The ceiling is talking!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"Hello?" Twilight replied, attempting to reply to the voice.

No response.

"We might as well investigate further," Twilight called to the rest of the group "it's important that we be the best representatives we can be for the aliens."

"W-Why us?" Fluttershy murmured.

"We're the next best thing to greet offworlders at the moment, it would take too long for Celestia and Luna to get here."

"I'm telling you, Joel," the gumball machine's voice "it's like Richard Simmons' daydream out there."

"Maybe it's the marketing department, you know how they can get." another voice replied, this one also male.

"C'mon, Crow, wormholes are windows of possibility," yet another voice replied, also male.

Twilight felt a grin come to her muzzle.

'An intellectual!'

"-even if it is Richard Simmons' daydream."

'Or...not...'

"Well anyway, looks like the monitor's busted."

"No Mads?" the gumball machine asked.

"No Mads."

Twilight peeked around the corner, and saw four constructs, one of which being the gumball machine. The bipedal creature leaning against the table looked bleary-eyed and bored.

As if having a revelation, the five of them glanced at each other, and elicited whoops of joy, cheering. The biped even pumped his fist in the air, like she'd seen Spike do.

The yellow one suddenly stopped.

"Well...what'll we do now?"

The biped gave an idle grin.

"Let's go harass the locals, that's what you always do when you land in an unfamiliar environment!"

"Celestia have mercy on our souls..." Rarity murmured.

Comments

[Unidentified]

I did not follow a single thing that happened after the first half of the story. Maybe that's a good thing?

[The Infinity Doctor]

6242925 It sounds like it

[lord baron]

so, what the heck actually happened after the spaceship landed on tirek and (presumably) made a meat explosion?

i just can't parse the last half of this story, there was something that might have been a dalek, rainbow dash not getting singed?

congratulations, your story reads just as well forwards as it reads backwards

[Telaros]

This is complete? O.o

[Rye Snoot]

it seems decent so far.

[Mister E]

Hells yes!
And also because... http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/491881/a-good-day
Feel free to keep going with this... (hint,hint).

[Zane Wolfe]

Ah, MST3K. Ok, now it makes sense, kinda. Neat I guess. Honestly its too short to really get into. By the time you're figuring things out, and thus actually have a reason to be excited/enjoy it, its over.

Faved just in case you actually continue this.

[SomeBloke]

Will there be more?

[The Infinity Doctor]

6244398 I may write a sequel, if not longer than this one. But for now, though- I've got some other work I'm catching up on.

[SomeBloke]

6244407 Ok

[sbloom85]

fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/363/1/e/clapping_pony_icon___twilight_sparkle_by_taritoons-d5pkpl8.gif

[Sipioc]

Hah! Nice! Short sweet to the point. Captured the show but doesn't get to bogged down with why they are their.

A cool story, (cough-Mike).

[The Infinity Doctor]

6246920 *ahem* (Joel) *cough*

[Sipioc]

6246998 oh geez you! You may have had that cold first but mine fits better.

Just playin'. Virtues to both! Any MST3k better than none.

[The Infinity Doctor]

6247022 True

[Chicago Ted]

>title contains the word "cheese"
>story rated Everyone

[The Infinity Doctor]

6267949 That's totally lost on me, sorry.

[Roxor]

Thumbs down for the deceptive summary. It says unicorn, the story says otherwise.

[The Infinity Doctor]

7062030 Oh my god, does it? How the hell did I miss that?
It'll be fixed ASAP

[JazzyWaffles]

This feels like a prologue to a much longer story.