Fluttershy's Stoned Quest for Cheesy Puffs

by TheCrimsonDM

It All Starts in a Basement

Fluttershy’s Stoned Quest for Cheesy Puffs

Written by TheCrimsonDM

Most ponies think of Fluttershy as being the calm, kind, and shy pony. The one pony who would never be up to anything mischievous, or sly. But little do they know her secret, the secret that she’s only shared with a very select few, the few that she found to be cool enough to keep it. Rainbow Dash, and Tree Hugger were amongst those said ponies.

Fluttershy, like most ponies, had a basement. Although in her case this basement was kept hidden and secret from the outside world. If one were to simply pull out the correct book on her bookshelf, they would find a switch. Pushing the switch would cause said bookshelf to slide to the right, revealing a secret staircase leading down into her basement.

If they continued onward into the basement they would, right at this moment, find a darkly lit room. The green light bulb in the ceiling cast a green shade of light over everything it touched, the thick haze that currently filled the room was filtered out by a vent in the side of the wall. Three ponies currently sat in the smoke, Fluttershy took up space on one of the bean bag chairs while Rainbow Dash laid on the couch. Tree Hugger was in the middle of the room and shifting through the box of snacks.

“Hey, Flutterpoo?” Tree Hugger asked. “Where’s the Cheesy Puffs?”

Fluttershy sat up, gave a serious look to Tree Hugger and with a dread filled tone she replied, “There’s no more Cheesy Puffs?”

For a moment Tree Hugger stared almost blankly at Fluttershy. When Rainbow Dash started laughing like a mad mare. Both Tree Hugger and Fluttershy turned their attentions towards the silly pony and joined in the laughter.

The fit of shared laughter lasted a few minutes before Fluttershy finally managed to ask, “Why are we laughing?”

Rainbow Dash began laughing again and quickly covered her muzzle in an attempt to stifle it. She sat up and took a deep breath, held it in for a moment, and exhaled. “I ate the last bag of Cheesy Puffs a few minutes ago.”

Tree Hugger began laughing again. Fluttershy couldn’t help but giggle a little as well. In one swift motion, Fluttershy stood up, fell on her face, picked herself back up and proclaimed proudly, “Than I shall acquire us a new bag of Cheesy Puffs.”

“Awww,” Tree Hugger said. “You don’t have to do that for me, it’s like, okay.”

“But I want some too,” Fluttershy said. “I shall return post haste.”

Tree Hugger wrapped her forelegs around one of Fluttershy’s legs. “I love you, Flutterpoo.”

“I love you too, Treezy.”

Rainbow Dash grinned madly and said, “Pick up some cider while you're out.”

Fluttershy pulled away from Tree Hugger and nodded at Rainbow Dash. As Fluttershy headed towards the stairs she gave one last look at Tree Hugger. I will get your Cheezy Puffs, my dear.

***

In all of Ponyville there was only one store that imported Cheesy Puffs, and that store was called “Lady Moon’s, everything you need plus some you don’t.” it was an apt title for this little store. It did usually have anything one could need, plus quite a bit more. One could even order specific items that were truly difficult find.

Fluttershy went straight to the snack aisle and found what she was searching for. The fabled Cheesy Puffs, wrapped in their legendary orange bag, with the picture of the little round crunchy snacks on the front. Carefully Fluttershy grabbed the bag before staring into it’s cover, the mere thought of munching down on these at home with Tree Hugger had her salivating.

“Hiya, Fluttershy,” A bubble sounding pony said cheerfully. “What’s you doing?”

Fluttershy looked over at the pink pony standing next to her and smiled. Fluttershy leaned in and whispered into Pinkie’s ear, “I’m on a secret quest to get Cheesy Puffs. So don’t tell anypony.”

Pinkie Pie smiled, nodded, and then sniffed. Pinkie pulled her head back and covered her nose. “Ew, Fluttershy, you smell bad. You smell like a skunk, did you get sprayed again?”

“Um…” Fluttershy replied. I don’t think it would be a good idea to tell Pinkie about my secret. Maybe I could lie to her?

“Don’t worry, I won’t ask for details. I know it must be embarrassing to smell like that in public,” Pinkie Pie said casually.

Fluttershy nodded and stared at Pinkie Pie in silence for several minutes. What was I supposed to do next?

“Uh, Fluttershy. You in there?” Pinkie Pie asked while waving a hoof in front of Fluttershy’s face.

“Pinkie,” Fluttershy said kindly. “What was I doing again?”

“Weren’t you buying Cheesy Puffs,” Pinkie Pie said.

“Oh yeah, that’s right,” Fluttershy said. She looked down at the bag in her hooves and said, “Oh wow, look I already have a bag.”

“Classic Fluttershy, always so spacey,” Pinkie Pie said. “Oh I have to buy a pen, they have pink ones here.”

I’m not usually this out of it… am I?

Pinkie Pie bounced off merrily to the front desk and began talking to the shop clerk. Fluttershy sat there in silence for a couple of minutes. Something was wrong. She couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Maybe I’m just being paranoid?

Fluttershy pushed herself up off the floor and trotted to the front counter. The young mare behind the counter was only fifteen but she was a good shop keeper despite her youth. Ladybug looked up at Fluttershy, and quickly brushed her messy red mane out of her face. Fluttershy always liked how the blue fur looked against Ladybug’s red mane, it was somehow fitting.

“Hello, Ladybug, I wanted to get these,” Fluttershy set the bag down on the counter.

“Okay,” Ladybug said excitedly. “That will be… um…” Suddenly the excitement dropped from her voice. “I don’t actually have a price up for those yet… How much do I usually charge you, five bits right?”

“Yep,” Fluttershy said.

“Okay, then since I forgot the price how about… four bits,” Ladybug said.

Fluttershy reached down to pick up her purse, and suddenly she realized what was wrong. I forgot my purse at home.

“Um,” Fluttershy said. “I… might’ve forgot my money at home.”

Ladybug squinted and said, “Two bits?”

Why did she go down on the price.

“No you don’t understand, I forgot my money, I’ll have to go home and come back,” Fluttershy said.

A serious look crossed into Ladybugs eyes for a moment. “I won’t go any lower.”

What’s going on?

A pink hoof landed on the table and two bits slid over to Ladybug. Pinkie Pie wore a friendly smile. “Good job haggling, Fluttershy. But you kinda need money for that tactic to actually work.”

Ladybug took the two bits and grinned. “Thanks for shopping with us.”

Fluttershy nodded and smiled. I’m not sure what just happened, but now that I have the Cheesy Puffs, it’s time to go home.

***

Back at home, in the basement. Fluttershy saw Rainbow Dash napping on the couch. Oops, I forgot to get the cider… maybe she won’t remember.

Tree Hugger relaxing on a large bean bag chair. Fluttershy crawled onto the chair and snuggled up to Tree Hugger, the bag of Cheesy Puffs in her mouth. Tree Hugger gave a smile to Fluttershy.

“Flutterpoo, you like, got these for me?” Tree Hugger asked.

“Nope, I got them for us.”

That made Tree Hugger’s smile increase.

“I’m loving your aura right now,” Tree Hugger said.

Fluttershy leaned in and gently kissed Tree Hugger on the cheek. “Rainbow Dash is asleep, do you know what that means?”

“What?”

“We don’t have to share,” Fluttershy said giddily.

“Righteous.”

The End

Comments

[UltimateAnimeGamer]

I feel like this could have been longer. There needed to be a consequence of some sort for going out like that. Maybe more conversations with other ponies while she tries to act normal, or other ponies reacting to her weird behavior. I don't know, just that someone needs to suffer like in all comedy.

[SomeBloke]

Sweet
derpicdn.net/img/2015/5/17/897784/large.png

[Night Music]

God damn hippies.

[mastermenthe]

Featured Box, here we come!

[Seether00]

Man, I could go for some Cheesy Puffs.

These
http://www.wisesnacks.com/products/cheez-doodles/honey-bbq-puffed.aspx#.VaiSNGHD9Ds

Honey BBQ Cheese Doodles. So addictive

[crowscrowcrow]

Stoned Fluttershy? Psh, I'm not reading this... Eh, like, 1k words isn't that much...
...

[Fracturedheart]

(Squee!)

[Regidar]

"lol the character is so high" humor is exceptionally lazy, and typically written by people who have never been high ever. All weed does is make you lazy and extra paranoid of the things you already were paranoid of. Media misconceptions dating back to the fucking 70s have painted being stoned as a magical adventure, when it really just makes you into this stupid lump of a human being who laughs at shit that isn't funny and occasionally freaks out over someone looking at them wrong.

[TheCrimsonDM]

6217341 Thanks for the comment, but you are forgetting two things. One, people who smoke can have wildly different experiences. I've met someone who would just get angry and bitch and moan all day after smoking. Two humor is very subjective, and I was going for a more 'adult swim' kind of humor. The laid back, chill kind. But that's just this story, I've other stories that are comedy with a lot more action, or more random. Whatever fit the story itself.

I agree that pot humor can be very lazy, but sometimes you just need a laid back and calm experience. Not action packed, not limb tearing, and not explosive humor. If I had to pick a super lazy style of humor, I'd say that slapstick tops the list.

[Regidar]

6217432 "calm" and "boring" are basically synonymous when it comes to humor. At least something HAPPENS when you have slapstick. Nothing happens when you're stoned. You just act like an idiot, and not even an entertaining one. Ergo, pot humor is unrealistic because it portrays being high as something that comedy gold is born from.

[TheCrimsonDM]

6217742 ...what? No, pot humor is rarely comedy gold. I'll admit that I am upset with how most media portray the act of smoking, the act itself is not funny, and in most cases it's just relaxing.

Comedy is subjective, and if you don't find humor in this story, that's fine with me. This was more of an experiment than anything else. I'd actually say that this was a surprising/disappointing success. If only I had made this story even more mundane, it could have truly succeeded. (Though I won't be writing comedy like this for a long time, me thinks. i might write another absurd comedy next time, who knows?)

[Regidar]

6217849 Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to discourage you from writing. Hell, I'm not even going tot ell you to take my words to heart; I just feel like it's good to have different people's viewpoints, and pot "humor" is something I feel strongly on, so I feel it's worth at least HAVING my opinion in mind, if not agreeing with it.

[TheCrimsonDM]

6219277 Don't get me wrong, I am very thankful for your comment, and I agree that pot humor is generally unrealistic and dumb. There is wisdom in your words. You know what happens when you get high and go to the store... not an awful lot to tell the truth. There is no big adventure across the woods to get to a fast food place, you just get there, eat some grub, and go home.

That said, smoke can do all kinds of different things to different people. Sometimes they get really dumb, other times they start building things, or get philosophical (though that's rare), and in one case someone would get angry and bitch and moan about the anything/everything. Oh and lets not forget the guy who had ADHD and how he would start getting hyper after smoking... that was really weird.

I am seriously surprised by how many likes this story has gotten. I didn't actually expect much from it to tell the truth, I wrote it in about an hour to see what I could come up with given a 'that 70's show' as a starting point and a short time limit. (To tell the truth, I don't really like writing smoke humor that much.)

[Regidar]

6219332 Weirdly enough, I don't mind the smoke humor in That 70s Show because it's fucking stupid. It's realistic to how being high is; you act dumb and laugh at dumb things, and sometimes you get really god damn paranoid.

[Muffin Derper]

I don't know about y'all but when I go on a snack run I never forget why I'm there but I always come back with more then i was originally going for. lol

[NorrisThePony]

This was great, and I could actually somewhat see Flutters and Moondancer doing this, but the story itself is way too short.

Eh, still enjoyable either way.