Thinker, Tailor, Soldier, Pie

by Third Wave

Thinker, Tailor, Soldier, Pie

“Give me that!” Twilight snapped. She grabbed the file folder out of Fluttershy’s hoof. There would be no more mention of Twilight’s fear of quesadillas again if she had anything to do about it. It was a perfectly rational fear of course, but all her friends would no doubt dispute it. She shuffled through the folders with a hoof to find the place where it belonged. Twilight carefully read the tabs of the other folders in the drawer. She wasn’t going to just place it back in some random position. You had to respect a pony’s method of organization.

“Let’s see, Twinkleshine, ah, here we go.” Twilight shoved the folder back into place. As she did, she took a glance at the folder behind it. It was also labelled with her name, but there was something else that piqued her curiosity. The folder also had a sun symbol on it. Twilight would recognize that symbol anywhere. It was Celestia’s cutie mark. She had seen it almost every day on official documents. But what would Pinkie be doing with official Equestrian government documents, especially ones with her name on them?

Suddenly, Pinkie burst through the bunch of balloons she had been hiding behind. “Thank you, all of you!” Twilight glanced from Pinkie to the folder. Discreetly, she slipped the folder out of the filing cabinet and lodged it beneath a wing. Right now the matter at hoof was preparing for the friendship exchange party with the yaks. But this required further investigation. Twilight put investigating Pinkie’s government file on secondary priority in her mind. She would have to go through the file that night, after the party. Twilight slid the cabinet closed and joined in with the others in a group hug. They left Pinkie’s party cave. Twilight kept her wing tight against her body as she left Sugarcube Corner, only letting the mysterious folder drop when she returned, alone, to the castle.

Twilight trotted to the large conference room and took a seat at her chair, levitating the folder aside her. She lay the folder on the table and examined the Celestial seal on it. She took a deep breath. Tampering with or unauthorized reading of official documents carried a heavy sentence, potentially up to a decade in the Canterlot penitentiary, if she were caught. But she had to know. Why did Pinkie of all ponies have a secret document like this one, and what did Celestia say about Twilight in it?

Twilight opened the folder and spread the various files out with a forehoof. She skimmed the top sheet for any clue as to what the files pertained to. A crude, well worn stamp of Celestia’s cutie mark emblazoned the top right corner of the sheet along with those two delicious words that beckoned all inquisitive minds: TOP SECRET. Twilight’s eyes tore voraciously through the words on the page below.

“Agent Pie. Thank you for bringing Thinker’s recent temporal escapade to my attention. This is a grave concern, and if it is not resolved it could result in a paradox and causal distortion the likes of which has not been seen since the first reign of Discord. Please proceed with caution in taking this matter into your own hooves. However, I trust you on this matter. The brief duration of the appearance of the future version of the asset is most likely from a brief time travel spell. I know of only one such place where a spell such as this could be found. The Starswirl the Bearded wing of the Canterlot Royal Archives contains a number many powerful scrolls of a temporal or trans-spatial nature, and I believe this is where you may find the relevant scroll.

“You stated next Tuesday was when Thinker reported her double arrived from? You must escort Thinker to the Canterlot Royal Archives by the aforementioned day and ensure she discovers the scroll. I will alert the guards of the arrival of Thinker, but please notify me when the asset has reached the Archives such that I may make contact.

“Good luck, Agent Pie. Equestria’s future and its present are in your capable hooves.

“Her Royal Majesty Princess Celestia”

Twilight stared at the paper for a moment. She stared at the signature again. She ran up the steps to her room and grabbed a letter from her bedside table, before galloping back down the stairs to return to the main chamber. She laid the letter out flat on the table next to the other document.

The letter was one Celestia had sent her via Spike two days ago, informing her of the Princess’s participation in the yak friendship exchange. It had been hoof-signed by Celestia herself. Twilight’s eyes darted from the letter to the document from Pinkie’s file. Both were indeed addressed from Celestia, and both signatures were exactly the same. The ink on the top secret document was much drier than the letter but Twilight saw the same yellow flecks that had seeped into the vellum. It was a sure sign that Celestia had used quills of her own feathers for both letters and a definite sign of their authenticity.

What did this mean? Why was Celestia apparently not only sending official letters to Pinkie, but apparently having Pinkie monitor Twilight’s movements? The document raised so many questions. Twilight needed them answered.

Twilight moved the top paper side. Underneath there were three more papers from Celestia and Pinkie conversing back and forth. They, like the top paper, concerned Twilight’s encounter with her future self and the trip to the Canterlot Archives.

Pinkie had informed Celestia that they had boarded a train to Canterlot and would be entering the Archives that night. Celestia confirmed the receipt of the update and requested Pinkie inform her when they arrived at the section of the Archives’ stacks containing the time travel spell. The final sheet stunned Twilight. “We have reached the rendezvous point. In the Starswirl the Bearded wing, QL-88. I have secured the scroll, will proceed when ready.” Twilight looked below Pinkie’s signature and her jaw fell to the top of the table. She had scrawled the time of the letter; 6:42 AM. It couldn’t have been. Twilight remembered that moment of embarrassment and realization vividly. Celestia had walked by her cheerily wishing her a happy Tuesday at precisely 6:55 AM.

Twilight looked up from the document. How did Pinkie send the note to Celestia so quickly?

She smacked her face with a hoof. Of course, Spike had gone with them too. But had Pinkie really been able to sneak a letter off to Celestia that quickly and Twilight hadn’t noticed? She tried to remember the moments from before Celestia’s sudden appearance in the Archives. All that came to mind was scanning through countless scrolls and books, searching for the time travel spell. And Pinkie was the one who found it! She could have known where it was long before telling Twilight, and gotten a letter off via Spike while her own face was buried in a book!

Twilight was fuming now. “Spike!” She called out. There was no answer. “Spiiiike!” she called again. The name echoed through the cavernous castle halls, but again no reply followed. Spike must have been out when she had come back.

Twilight grumbled at this roadblock. Oh well, she thought. She would just have to go through the rest of the documents in the folder and ask Spike about it when he got back. She set the stack aside and examined the stack below. Again, the top page was stamped TOP SECRET. These pages, however, were neatly clipped together instead of being loosely shoved into the folder. Twilight unclasped the stack and set them on the table. There were a lot more papers in this stack than in the first one.

The first few pages were all pictures of them, but Twilight did not recognize them. There was a picture of her. Below it was one of Rainbow Dash bucking a cloud and a picture of Rarity exiting Carousel Boutique. Twilight was not sure when the photographs had been taken, but she did recognize one of the words underneath the photos instantly. Below her own photo, Pinkie had written the word “Thinker” Twilight looked over at the first stack of papers. It confirmed her suspicion. “Thinker” was some sort of codename Pinkie and Celestia used for her. She rolled her eyes at the simple codename.

Twilight looked at the photograph of her again. It looked old, much older than a lot of the photos she had of all of the girls with her. She squinted as she looked at the background. A white marble column rose up on Twilight’s right. It had a faint alternating gold and purple swirl pattern on its side. Was that Canterlot? The photograph lacked Twilight’s wings, so it must have been ages ago.

Twilight looked at the other photos. They were slightly faded and looked as old as the photo of Twilight. Words had been written under the photos of Rainbow Dash and Rarity as well. “Tailor” under Rarity, and “Soldier” under Rainbow Dash. Both bore Pinkie’s handwriting. Twilight chuckled. Only Pinkie would use a children’s nursery rhyme to make up codenames, and obvious ones at that.

Even so, Twilight wondered why the secrecy was necessary anyway. She pressed onward in devouring through the files and started on the reports underneath the photographs.

The first report was chronologically ordered. “11:26 AM: Confirmation of Thinker’s arrival. Will arrange plans for interception of Tailor and Soldier and begin acquiring materials for gathering all assets together.” Arrival? What did that mean? Twilight kept reading.

“12:31 PM: I have convinced Soldier to intercept Thinker and have concocted a situation that should lead to Thnker and Tailor crossing paths. If everything goes accordingly, they will meet at Town Hall in approximately half an hour. Preparations for the celebration are going apace as well.

“1:01 PM: Thinker has rendezvoused with Tailor as planned. Preparations complete. Decorations at Oaks have been set up. Will acquire guests and the others and bring them to Oaks. Everything is going according to plan.”

Twilight moved her hoof down the page. According to Pinkie’s log, Twilight had met Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and two other ponies with codenames she hadn’t seen at six that evening.

Twilight only noticed the date at the top of the page then. June 21, 1000. She gasped. It was the day before the Summer Sun Celebration… the day they had all met. Was this a log of Twilight’s arrival in Ponyville. She scanned the times again and tried to remember that day. It was fuzzy, but everything appeared to match up. Pinkie acting surprised and running away when they first saw each other; Rainbow crashing into her and messing up her mane; meeting Rarity at town hall; Twilight finding them all in the library that evening. It all matched up.

Twilight clutched her head. It was all so hard to comprehend. Why was Pinkie coordinating with Celestia, even before they had all met. Why was Pinkie apparently steering them all toward meeting each other on that day? She sighed as she scanned through the other files in the folder. Nothing else answered those questions. Twilight could ask Pinkie, but that meant admitting stealing the folder. Twilight grunted and plopped her face on the table. She had to know. Even if it meant admitting her wrongdoing, she had to get the answers.

---

Twilight knocked on the door of Sugarcube Corner. “Hello?” Mrs. Cake answered the door.

“Um, hi Mrs. Cake.” Twilight craned her neck to look beyond her into the shop. “Is Pinkie here? I need to talk to her.”

Mrs. Cake shrank bank and glanced briefly toward the stairs leading to the second floor. “Oh, um, yes she is. But I don’t think she’s in a mood to see anyone right now. She’s been pacing and nervous ever since the party for the yaks.

Twilight gulped. “Oh… has she? Then I really need to talk to her. As a friend.”

“Mmm, I don’t know,” Mrs. Cake scuffed her hoof against the ground. Twilight stared straight at Mrs. Cake. “Okay.” Mrs. Cake stepped aside and let Twilight in the shop.

Twilight walked up the stairs and knocked on the door to Pinkie’s room. She could hear a methodical hoofsteps against the wooden floorboards on the opposite side of the door. “Pinkie, you there? It’s me, Twilight.”

The hoofsteps stopped for a second. Suddenly, they grew louder and faster. Before Twilight could think, the door burst open and Twilight was whisked into the room by a pink blur. The door shut hard behind her.

“Twilight! What are you doing here?” Pinkie held Twilight close. The folder slipped out of Twilight’s saddlebag and onto the floor. The page with the photos slid part of the way out of the folder, revealing Twilight’s photo and the codename Thinker. “Oh,” Pinkie said and dropped Twilight. As Twilight picked herself up from the floor, Pinkie dropped her shoulders and breathed a great sigh of relief. “How did you get those files?” Pinkie tensed up again, staring at Twilight through narrowed eyes.

Twilight sighed. “I took it from your party cave when we stumbled on it.” She stared down at the floor. “I’m sorry, I was just so curious.” She looked back up at Pinkie. “I had no idea you were an agent of Celestia? What’s that all about, by the way?”

Pinkie avoided Twilight’s gaze, instead staring out the window. “I don’t know if I should tell you…”

Twilight nudged Pinkie’s forehoof with her own. “Pinkie, we’re friends. Remember how you said that betraying secrets was the fastest way to lose a friend forever? I understand where you were coming from now.” Pinkie looked back at Twilight and smiled. “But you can trust me. You know you can. And I’m a princess now, I think I deserve to be in the loop on this.” Twilight waved a hoof at the folder.

“Well… okay.” Pinkie said. “I’ve been working as an agent of Celestia keeping Ponyville safe for years. When she found out Nightmare Moon was coming back, she saw qualities in you that made you the Element of Magic. Through her and my investigations, we found the others and prepared the Summer Sun Celebration in Ponyville. I was tasked with getting us and the other Elements together to defeat Nightmare Moon.”

Twilight frowned. “What about Celestia? Where was she during all that?”

“Oh,” Pinkie perked up, “she was hiding in her bunker under Canterlot. She was never in any danger silly!” Twilight gritted her teeth. Why would Celestia send her to attack Nightmare Moon but not try to stop the eternal night herself? “But she had faith in you. Celestia never would have put you in that situation if she didn’t think you were up to the task. Celestia never doubted you once. You just needed a little prodding to help get you there.”

Twilight wanted to be mad at Celestia and Pinkie, but Pinkie’s words and snorting laughter made it melt away. “So why were you monitoring us after Nightmare Moon had been defeated?”

“To keep us six together, duh!” Pinkie grinned. “I had to make sure the Elements of Harmony stayed together in case they needed to be used. That’s why I was so eager to get Applejack when she left after the Canterlot rode! And why I was so worried when Rainbow went off to the Wonderbolt camp and didn’t write back! If the Elements broke up, their power would wane and Tirek could have won!” Pinkie flailed her hooves about.

Twilight scratched her chin. It made sense, but she still had one question. “But, then how did Celestia recruit you?”

Pinkie winked. “I can’t tell you all my secrets silly.”

Twilight laughed. “I guess not. Anyway, I’m really sorry about taking the files without your permission. I just really needed to know after I saw it. Forgive me?”

“Hmmmm… I forgive you.” Pinkie smiled and embraced Twilight. “You probably won’t want to tell Celestia this. If she still hasn’t told you, I’m not sure if she wants you to know yet.”

Pinkie gathered the files back into the folder and followed Twilight downstairs. “Well you seem calm, Pinkie.” Mrs. Cake said from behind Sugarcube Corner’s counter. “Thank you, Twilight.”

“No problem Mrs. Cake. That’s what friends are for.” She smiled warmly at Pinkie, who flashed a quick grin back. After another quick hug, Twilight left.

Pinkie went back up to her room and closed the door. She looked around suspiciously, ensuring she and Gummy were the only ones in the room. There could be enemies everywhere. Satisfied, Pinkie pressed the button the whipped cream shaped top of the staircase post. The post lowered and the trap door to Pinkie’s party cave opened. She entered, walked up to the filing cabinet, opened the T drawer, and put the folder behind Twilight’s party folder. Running her hoof through the folders, she saw the picture from the party she had thrown Twilight and smiled. It wasn’t just a mission from Celestia. Pinkie had truly put her all into throwing Twilight the best welcome to Ponyville party. She stared at the picture for a moment before closing the cabinet drawer.

Pinkie turned around and walked to the center of the room. She noticed a red light blinking on a wall. “Come in, Sweetie Drops.”

A panel opened and a mare with a cream colored coat and magenta and dark blue mane walked in. She was wearing a dark pair of sunglasses. “Hello, Pinkie. What do you have for me?”

Pinkie trotted to a desk in the corner of the cave stacked high with papers. She grabbed a folder out of the middle of the stack and whisked it toward Sweetie Drops. The stack wobbled, but remained steady. “Fillydelphia. Canterlot has received reports of a couple manticores wandering out of the Everfree and threatening the outlying areas of the city. Shouldn’t be too much trouble. The briefing should all be in the file. You have a week.”

Sweetie Drops scoffed. “A week for some manticores? I can be done with that and back in two days!”

Pinkie smirked. “Take Lyra with you. You two deserve an extended vacation.”

Sweetie Drops leered and looked at Pinkie over the top of her sunglasses. “Whatever you say, Pinkie.” Sweetie Drops turned and trotted back through the passage she came in from.

Comments

[Hillbe]

Pinkie's Got Smart?

Thinker!

Pinker

You stinker!

[Punk Rock Prom Queen]

Hmm I have to wonder if Pinkie has a Magic Musket now.

"Tinker, Tailor, Solider, Sailor My Canon throws parties for all without distinction!"

[SomeBloke]

Nice

[ferret]

Well, that was a thing.

[ferventwilight]

This explains so much, I love it. Small grammar errors, though, and I don't know what nursery rhyme you're thinking of.

[Third Wave]

6170206
I had to look up that reference. That's great!

6179005
Thanks! The nursery rhyme is based off an old English rhyme Tinker Tailor. My use of it as well as the title of the story is a reference to the novel Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.

[Xupxake]

This explains so much..