649306 I've tried doing my best to set the stage for as many of them as I could. I know i haven't gone into a lot of the friendbuilding detail between Shadow and Twilight Sparkle, but i just didn't feel it added to the core of the story. The important part was what they DID with that friendship, not how it began or grew.
649663 Thanks a lot! And now there's an idea, i hadn't considered that, a side story, slice of life stuff filling in the gaps, I could maybe do that, if I knew what fit in there >_> I will have to give it some thought
You could always tell your friends about the story, I kind of have an addiction to upvotes and answering comments, I guess its just the selfish part of me that wants to know my work is appreciated. And it is! so I'm happy! Its just not appreciated by enough people...
I am going to be a bit sad when this story is finished, I have put way too much effort and energy into it.
This is appropriate I think: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJsTS9968wQ&feature=relmfu 0:00 - Running To the Castle 0:20 - Talking to the Princesses 0:45 - Celestia running to Twilights Aid 1:07 - Celestia seeing Twilight 1:25 - Celestia Healing Twilight (Sorry but the song does fall flat at the end AND it does not show the hatred in Celestia's heart but what you gonna do about it?)
God, I roll my eyes so hard when characters invoke that absolutely ludicrous "Lethal Weapon 2" style Diplomatic Immunity trope. Thankfully, this is properly called out in-story as the bullshit it is. Big kudos for that. IRL, diplomatic immunity only works for like, parking tickets. Committing serious crimes while on a diplomatic mission will ruin your career at best and get you sent to THE FUCKING GULAG at worst. Oh and raping the head of state's family? HA, yeah, Hitler himself will put that fool in front of a firing squad. Nope. Nope. NOPE.
Yeah, this was cliche heavy. But you used them right. These cliches had to happen. They exist for a reason.
This story is fine, really it is. My only problem with it is that it moves too fast. There's too many time skips for my liking and while you were right not to hold anything back, I felt like I didn't have enough time to immerse myself in Twilight's struggles.
I know this story is long since done and I'm not even sure if you still frequent the site or not, but if you ever try to make another story like this, just slow it down and take your time with it.
Cliches.... yeah, thats quite a few. Still, they arent unbelieveable, which is what is important.
.All the delicious love going around...
*coughs* Anyway... continue :3
i thought we had to wait till monday you tease
very good again, this is probably my fav... fav
649306 I've tried doing my best to set the stage for as many of them as I could. I know i haven't gone into a lot of the friendbuilding detail between Shadow and Twilight Sparkle, but i just didn't feel it added to the core of the story. The important part was what they DID with that friendship, not how it began or grew.
649356 Maybe you could write a side story about the relationship between Twilight and Shadow.
I am liking.... Loving the story so far. Very well written and I can't wait for the next chapter (seriously). Keep up the good work.
Wish there was a way to double favorite this...
649663 Thanks a lot! And now there's an idea, i hadn't considered that, a side story, slice of life stuff filling in the gaps, I could maybe do that, if I knew what fit in there >_> I will have to give it some thought
You could always tell your friends about the story, I kind of have an addiction to upvotes and answering comments, I guess its just the selfish part of me that wants to know my work is appreciated. And it is! so I'm happy! Its just not appreciated by enough people...
I am going to be a bit sad when this story is finished, I have put way too much effort and energy into it.
Nuff said.
This is appropriate I think: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJsTS9968wQ&feature=relmfu
0:00 - Running To the Castle
0:20 - Talking to the Princesses
0:45 - Celestia running to Twilights Aid
1:07 - Celestia seeing Twilight
1:25 - Celestia Healing Twilight
(Sorry but the song does fall flat at the end AND it does not show the hatred in Celestia's heart but what you gonna do about it?)
God, I roll my eyes so hard when characters invoke that absolutely ludicrous "Lethal Weapon 2" style Diplomatic Immunity trope. Thankfully, this is properly called out in-story as the bullshit it is. Big kudos for that. IRL, diplomatic immunity only works for like, parking tickets. Committing serious crimes while on a diplomatic mission will ruin your career at best and get you sent to THE FUCKING GULAG at worst. Oh and raping the head of state's family? HA, yeah, Hitler himself will put that fool in front of a firing squad. Nope. Nope. NOPE.
Yeah, this was cliche heavy. But you used them right. These cliches had to happen. They exist for a reason.
this is like the fiftieth time of this statement being repeated.
One cliché you missed: Stating the clichés.
This story is not sad.
Only grimdark
but grimdark can be sad
if its tragic enough
but alas this one aint
naught but only
medium dark.
This story is fine, really it is. My only problem with it is that it moves too fast. There's too many time skips for my liking and while you were right not to hold anything back, I felt like I didn't have enough time to immerse myself in Twilight's struggles.
I know this story is long since done and I'm not even sure if you still frequent the site or not, but if you ever try to make another story like this, just slow it down and take your time with it.
Now onwards to the rest of the story!