Note: Hiatus because i'm working on other thinks
Equus is visited by a noisy little space dragon named Nexus Crux. He comes to the world to find out why the world is being orbited by the universes smallest star and what is this strange energy that fills the air. He soon comes to realize that he gets more than what he had bargained for with monsters, chaotic spirits and a very competitive mare.
Comedy tag might be removed by viewers request if found that I'm not that funny.
It might also change into an adventure story but not quire sure yet.
Suggest changes to the story in the comments, I'm pretty open to any ideas.
Chapters (2)
Now, with just reading the story and not looking at anything else I can tell you that the Prologue is better than the first chapter. It introduces everything nicely and doesn't over do really anything. Then I got to the first chapter and just skimmed mostly. It began to become a generic self insert. I realized it was that once I saw that you had the character's name.
The number one reason for you having this many dislikes is because of the self insertion. If I had known before I had read it I probably would've disliked it too. My advice is to tweak your prologue into something to where it's the character watching what all the ponies do. It would probably go better than this. Changing the name would help a lot too.
Good luck.
6194815 to be honest I didn't intend this at all to be a self inserted kind of story, I've just had this character in my head for a while and never really did anything with it. Although I guess I can see why he comes off like that. I think I'll just call him Crux now anyway, all the characters were going to call him that.
Also you just gave me a grand idea to how this rewrite chapter 1 and a bit of the prologue. Hopefully I will get it done in the next week and for it to not have this first reaction.
Thanks for the comment.
edit: well i might continue the story for a few more chapters before rewriting any of them
Lets see how many houses this train will crash through before it stops