Wow. Chrysalis was just an experiment. Now, it's time for the experiment to be terminated. Poor Chrysalis. Unfortunately, I have a feeling her coming to the princesses may expose her to her family. I wonder what Celestia and Twilight would think if they knew that Chrysalis is nice compared to other changelings.
Part of me now wants for Spike to fuck the hell out of Chrysalis, if nothing more than to see what the dragon-changeling hybrids are gonna be like. And it seems like it could be the best of both worlds--they have their Queen Mother's traits, but at the same time, will have a lot of Spike's persona as well.
Chryssie's sisters and mother can't even comprehend what is gonna appear on the horizon. It's never a good thing to pretty much bully the runt of the litter, because that runt will eventually grow up. Payback is gonna be a bitch, ain't it?!
6123090 That's not always true, and for me it's a force of habit. I once read a story, in a book, with a character named Regis, now seeing as Regi is also a name you will see from time time to time tacking the S on after the ' is typically a good ideas with characters like that. Because me knowing that some people have the name Regi and "Regis's" a few pages prior you can understand my annoyance at the publishers when I saw "Regis'".
Story for now is good, if a bit fast-paced. Though, do you have a editor helping you at the moment? This chapter has some problems in the time you give at the moment. For example that second to the last segment has Chrysalis at both six years old and nine years old. Another is just the general time frame of her flashbacks, which does not clarify when they would happen. Thank you for taking the time for reading this.
“Mother, why am I different than my sisters,” said a six year old Chrysalis, “my carapace seems to be not as lustrous than any of theirs, my horn is a bit more jagged and my eyes seem to be a brighter shade.” “I suppose it comes from your egg,” said Cicada as she set up the lecture hall for magic lessons, Chrysalis always seemed to be early when it came time for learning, that was fine and all for the changeling queens, but her daughter's friendly and nice demeanor during those early years was cause for concern, especially since Chrysalis was now nine years old.
Wow, in two paragraphs Chrysalis gained three years. Must be a very slow thought
7109689 I like to think it's more Chrysalis's age jumbling her early years that in close proximity to each other, I considered changing it before I got that little idea in my head and liked it so much I kept the seemingly inconsistent years as is.
Wow. Chrysalis was just an experiment. Now, it's time for the experiment to be terminated. Poor Chrysalis. Unfortunately, I have a feeling her coming to the princesses may expose her to her family. I wonder what Celestia and Twilight would think if they knew that Chrysalis is nice compared to other changelings.
6120964 Working on addressing it as we speak.
Part of me now wants for Spike to fuck the hell out of Chrysalis, if nothing more than to see what the dragon-changeling hybrids are gonna be like. And it seems like it could be the best of both worlds--they have their Queen Mother's traits, but at the same time, will have a lot of Spike's persona as well.
Chryssie's sisters and mother can't even comprehend what is gonna appear on the horizon. It's never a good thing to pretty much bully the runt of the litter, because that runt will eventually grow up. Payback is gonna be a bitch, ain't it?!
Great love it keep up your amazing writing
The smexy times continue
So, one question. How do you think Chrysalis is going to rebuild her hive with Spike (ex: Termite/Ant Queens when they get super pregnant with eggs?)
6121596 I give a hint in the next chapter.
Let me guess, she'll have over 9000 little ones?!?!!
Also you don't need an apostrophe( ')s if the name ends with a 's'.
6123090 That's not always true, and for me it's a force of habit. I once read a story, in a book, with a character named Regis, now seeing as Regi is also a name you will see from time time to time tacking the S on after the ' is typically a good ideas with characters like that. Because me knowing that some people have the name Regi and "Regis's" a few pages prior you can understand my annoyance at the publishers when I saw "Regis'".
Story for now is good, if a bit fast-paced. Though, do you have a editor helping you at the moment? This chapter has some problems in the time you give at the moment. For example that second to the last segment has Chrysalis at both six years old and nine years old. Another is just the general time frame of her flashbacks, which does not clarify when they would happen. Thank you for taking the time for reading this.
Loving this story, keep er goin.
~The Rift Walker
Yep, Spike's dragon dong is like a log derailing her train of thought at each junction.
Well, is say the experiment was a success, Cicada read just to dumb to realise that. *snugs his Chryssie plush*
Cya
Raziel-chan
THAT BITCH!!! I can not believe she would kill her own daughter who she experimented on!
*pants* Sorry but this kind I can't stand. *Goes and gathers recruits* One way or another, I send that grass stain to hell.
Wow, in two paragraphs Chrysalis gained three years. Must be a very slow thought
7109689 I like to think it's more Chrysalis's age jumbling her early years that in close proximity to each other, I considered changing it before I got that little idea in my head and liked it so much I kept the seemingly inconsistent years as is.