Interesting, has some potential, but I'll agree that clunky is the right word. I don't like how quickly Spike accepts the queen, or how weak she is, whining and bemoaning wow is me. But it does look interesting, I'd just stop making Chrysalis such s weak character. Fascinating head canon though.
6114806 the reason for the "whining" should be made clear in the next few chapters. I fully intend on doing my best to make Chrysalis be a much stronger character.
Okay. I like what I read so far (expect for Flash Sentry being with Twilight and the impossibly large penises.) I can actually see Spike acting the way he did despite what Chrysalis has done in the past. I just want to know why did the other hives try to kill off Chrysails' and how tall are these anthros anyway? In any case, I will follow this story.
6115769 One, it's an alternate universe where they were all Anthros to begin with. Two, that's a ship I tolerate, while I don't dislike I also don't like it like that (and I felt Twilight needed someone as her significant other to help her through that point in her life, so I just went with one I saw a lot of fan works around). And three, he's a freaking dragon, the rules of their anatomy are different than most other creatures. Thus I answered your questions, without wording that required the use of spoilers.
6116855 1. I understand that they are anthros. 2. I understand you felt Twilight needed someone, but HIM? Some people are going to dislike this story just for that, I'm not one of them though. 3. I wasn't just talking about Spike. Do you realize the dimensions you gave them? Some of these stallions are wider than a dollar bill (which is six inches in length). I'm not arguing length because I know these guys are big and tall (at least 7 or 8 feet).
I'm sorry, but I couldn't figure out how to word myself here with the spoiler tag.
I'm sorry, did you say a nine and a half inch WIDE cock??? What the...... The fuck is that shit?!?!? Jesus Christ man. Otherwise, great story aside from a few small grammatical errors. Looks promising. ~The Rift Walker
6116855 I would like to tell you that I do like this story but as a farmer I can tell you that most horses are only 3 to 4 inches wide and whales specifically the largest blue whales penis is only 12 to 16 inches. We are talking about a slightly larger than human figure atm so I could get maybe 5 inches maybe but 9, that would ruin his mates.
Those are some wide cocks. If Spike's cock is also ribbed, he'll melt Chryssie's brain.
A bit clunky at times, but pretty nice overall. And I figure the years since the invasion have been hell for Chryssie and her hive, with her sisters dong their best to end them. Ams now she's found out that the changelings she adopted and cared for so much sacrificed their lives to ensure that she had a future. No wonder she's depressed.
7106566 No, dinosaurs don't breath fire and dragons can grow much larger, a large dragon could be the size of a city, a large dinousaur is larger than a mid sized buliding at least the ones that are similar to dragons.
8361203 Prove to me that dinosaurs couldn't breath fire and typically dragons only grow large enough to be the alpha of an area. So no lesser creature like lions or bears could ever pose a threat. If they grew too big they'd need more food than there was available. I mean some grew larger than needed but they would usually starve to death or go into a hibernation for so long forests grow over top of them.
9030600 I suppose that’s a pretty tall order, seeing as almost everything of what we know about dinosaurs comes from fossilized remains, soft tissue usually doesn’t survive the transformation to stone. Everything else comes from creatures of similar design in our modern age. Thus far, we have yet to find any animals with the ability to breath fire, or possessed it at some point during their evolution, and if any dinosaurs did breath fire someone would found evidence of such by now. At no point have any dinosaur remains had markings to indicate they had burn marks that pointed towards such marks being inflicted by another living being. For now, the evidence just isn’t there. It’s definitely possible that something could evolve that way, there’re enough biological aspects that if converged in the appropriate manner could lead to the ability to breath fire but there is no current evidence in the natural world, we as a species are aware of, to indicate fire-breathing happened in any of the evolutionary lines.
It's a bit clunky, but I like it. Thumbs up to this one.
nice start, give the reader a littel teases of what will come and a deeper story then a one shot.
Could use more spacing and an editor, but this is pretty good so far.
Interesting, has some potential, but I'll agree that clunky is the right word. I don't like how quickly Spike accepts the queen, or how weak she is, whining and bemoaning wow is me. But it does look interesting, I'd just stop making Chrysalis such s weak character. Fascinating head canon though.
6114806 the reason for the "whining" should be made clear in the next few chapters. I fully intend on doing my best to make Chrysalis be a much stronger character.
She doesn't even realized that Spike has the 'double dragons'.
Okay. I like what I read so far (expect for Flash Sentry being with Twilight and the impossibly large penises.) I can actually see Spike acting the way he did despite what Chrysalis has done in the past. I just want to know why did the other hives try to kill off Chrysails' and how tall are these anthros anyway?
In any case, I will follow this story.
6115769 One, it's an alternate universe where they were all Anthros to begin with. Two, that's a ship I tolerate, while I don't dislike I also don't like it like that (and I felt Twilight needed someone as her significant other to help her through that point in her life, so I just went with one I saw a lot of fan works around). And three, he's a freaking dragon, the rules of their anatomy are different than most other creatures. Thus I answered your questions, without wording that required the use of spoilers.
6116855
1. I understand that they are anthros.
2. I understand you felt Twilight needed someone, but HIM? Some people are going to dislike this story just for that, I'm not one of them though.
3. I wasn't just talking about Spike. Do you realize the dimensions you gave them? Some of these stallions are wider than a dollar bill (which is six inches in length). I'm not arguing length because I know these guys are big and tall (at least 7 or 8 feet).
I'm sorry, but I couldn't figure out how to word myself here with the spoiler tag.
A shame he hasn't gotten wings yet. Females of winged species would probably go nuts over a big pair of those.
.......this is actually good
I'm sorry, did you say a nine and a half inch WIDE cock???
What the...... The fuck is that shit?!?!? Jesus Christ man.
Otherwise, great story aside from a few small grammatical errors. Looks promising.
~The Rift Walker
6116855 I would like to tell you that I do like this story but as a farmer I can tell you that most horses are only 3 to 4 inches wide and whales specifically the largest blue whales penis is only 12 to 16 inches. We are talking about a slightly larger than human figure atm so I could get maybe 5 inches maybe but 9, that would ruin his mates.
6264520 Okay, it's changed to something a bit more reasonable.
6217986 after being consulting some facts I dropped the width size of his rod.
Those are some wide cocks. If Spike's cock is also ribbed, he'll melt Chryssie's brain.
A bit clunky at times, but pretty nice overall. And I figure the years since the invasion have been hell for Chryssie and her hive, with her sisters dong their best to end them. Ams now she's found out that the changelings she adopted and cared for so much sacrificed their lives to ensure that she had a future. No wonder she's depressed.
Cya
Raziel-chan
Hmm, a earth dragon, a dragon without wings... isn't that a dinosaur
7106566 I AM A STEGOSAURUS!!!
7106566
7192113 You are not as clever with your jokes as you think, I didn't even get a chuckle out of that.
7106566
No, dinosaurs don't breath fire and dragons can grow much larger, a large dragon could be the size of a city, a large dinousaur is larger than a mid sized buliding at least the ones that are similar to dragons.
8361203
Prove to me that dinosaurs couldn't breath fire and typically dragons only grow large enough to be the alpha of an area. So no lesser creature like lions or bears could ever pose a threat. If they grew too big they'd need more food than there was available. I mean some grew larger than needed but they would usually starve to death or go into a hibernation for so long forests grow over top of them.
9030600
I suppose that’s a pretty tall order, seeing as almost everything of what we know about dinosaurs comes from fossilized remains, soft tissue usually doesn’t survive the transformation to stone. Everything else comes from creatures of similar design in our modern age. Thus far, we have yet to find any animals with the ability to breath fire, or possessed it at some point during their evolution, and if any dinosaurs did breath fire someone would found evidence of such by now. At no point have any dinosaur remains had markings to indicate they had burn marks that pointed towards such marks being inflicted by another living being. For now, the evidence just isn’t there. It’s definitely possible that something could evolve that way, there’re enough biological aspects that if converged in the appropriate manner could lead to the ability to breath fire but there is no current evidence in the natural world, we as a species are aware of, to indicate fire-breathing happened in any of the evolutionary lines.
Bizarre.
9030645
Yet
Dragons may evolve later in the timeline.
So here's to hoping.