One day, you will all come to my funeral just to make sure that I stay dead, but today is not that day | https://ko-fi.com/chillybook
This story is a sequel to Everyone Wants to Have Sex With Twilight Sparkle
Twilight had been thinking about this for about a month; How best to exact her revenge against her disgustingly shameless best friends. The Valentine's Day discussion has been mostly forgotten, but Twilight Sparkle never forgets.
Dark tag for apparently inappropriate and disturbing mind-altering magic.
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Well, that was...interesting.
I don't know whether to be sorry for the girls, or not, in this one.
Ok...I beg you BEG you hear me BEG that there be a Sequel to this with them getting even with Twilight!
6093013 I dunno about that. Two is already more than I was initially planning, and I feel like this is drifting a little too close to clop, which is an area I vowed never to go
Who says it has to be clop. Maybe Twilight comes back to aplogize for what she did. They say they forgive her but ploting to freak her out good.
6093420 As fun as that sounds, I think I'd rather leave it at this. Honestly, this story didn't really need to exist. I don't thinkn I'll be doing another
What the fuck did I just read? Um... Twilight's damn evil when she wants to be, I guess...
I feel bad for Sunset Shimmer, since she actually got tampered with. (Plus, they've seemed to have accepted that this is a new Sunset Shimmer, completely separate from the monster she used to be.
) I mean the rest of the girls are having intense, screwed up trips... and I think Rainbow Dash got off the easiest (HAHA pun now intended), basically just being in a super hot, vaguely sexual shower... then Pinkie, whose Breaking Bad thing wasn't necessarily all bad. I do wonder how Twilight had the magic to affect Sunset's pants though.
I liked this - I was going to say I didn't know why others didn't, but they were probably expecting clop. Or y'know, not drug-induced psychoreality. To be honest, it's too bad you don't want to write clop, I bet it'd be brilliant and tasteful.
HAHA I just thought about Sunset Shimmer crossing the portal and what she said in the last story: “Hands over hooves anyday.” (Besides, what's she going to do, her magic's probably rusty at best, squaring off with an alicorn...)
I like the title and it's reflection on its prequel. I'd consider tagging this under "Dark" as well though.
6143177 I never even considered that people would think this would be clop. That makes a lot of sense, actually. I just thought this story was really bad and I just didn't understand why, although that's still a possibility.
About writing clop... I'd actually really like to, but there are two things stopping me: Lack of creative ideas and lack of... experience, for want of a better term. I'd rather not touch that area until I can conceive an idea that doesn't just boil down to "two people boning".
6143935 haha I just figured it's a pretty ambitious title and description for the amount of actual sex being had. This story was good enough to not warrant the slew of downvotes, I admit it's a bit clunky and disconcerting to read (but that's why everyone's not okay with it
) but not low quality... so in my view it must be the brutal mindfuck we get thrown into with little warning.
Two people boning is a place to start, tbh in my experience - as long as you don't try to wikipedia everything about sex the night before and try to use scientific terms for things you don't quite understand, sexy times by inexperienced people aren't all bad. I hardly believe that all these good sex scenes are derived from real experience. But if you ever want someone to bounce ideas off of, my inbox is always open.
throughout most of the story you had me on the edge of liking it and hating it but the ending to this story was perfect. it was funny enough that you have earned an upvote from me good sir
6151132 I'll take that, good sir. What exactly did you not like about the story?
6151277 it was just far too weird to try to picture twilight being so cruel to her friends and the only image i could get in my head of it was almost "cupcakes" style and i didnt like that. it had me a little freaked out but the ending with almost none of it being real turned things around real quick. if that hadnt been there then it would have ben way to dark but you didnt let it stay that way so i thnak you.
6152164 I figured as much. That seems to be most people's beef with the story. Thank you for your feedback, it is much appreciated
6152214 your welcome. i do enjoy your work and really want to see more. i actually found you through a RD x scoots story of yours and then found the first part to this story and that put me on following you.
6152635 RD and Scootaloo? Unless I'm going completely insane, which is a possibility, I don't actually think I've ever written a Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash story. In any case, I'm glad you found me and you enjoy my work. I really appreciate you taking the time to read my madness.
6152655 then no its probably me remembering wrong but i was on a story filter for that when i ran across you so it may have just been a random "others liked" thing on the side panel so i probably followed that from one rd story to you. I'm all over the net everyday so i kinda lose track as i do so much all the time. over 100 tabs open at any given moment. and they are spread out over three browsers so i dont have a unified history. srry
6152735 Don't be sorry. I was just wondering if I somehow finished and published a story in my sleep, which I've come rather close to doing, actually. I don't think it matters how you found me, I'm just glad you did
I don't recommend this story for anyone really
6500051 So sorry to hear that. May I ask why?
6500088 the first part was fairly amusing, but this was just not enjoyable really. Characterization is probably my biggest complaint and reaally this is fairly dark vs naughtily funny. Pardon my awful grammar and punctuation lol
6500730 Sorry you didn't enjoy. I will take your critique into consideration for the next time
I liked this story. While I prefer the more humoristic and lighthearted atmospehere of the previous one, which you portrayed really well, it's still very interesting to see a continuation of the same story in a more grimdark style. It adds an interesting new dimension to the fun they pulled on Twilight, asking "What if she actually snapped? Then what would/could she do?". Turning the character's own fantasies against them is quite sinister, and I love it.
You know what will be even better?
6611917 I'm sure I can think of several things that are better, but I'd love to hear what you think.
6612034 The Rainbooms having their sleepover until Sunset got a called from Adagio via speaker.
6612093 I'm afraid I don't follow
6612097 Ever heard of phone sex?
6612181 Yes... However, I don't see what that has to do with this, or how that would make any sense in this story. I'm probably just missing something obvious. That's what happens when you stay up for two days straight, eh?
6612186 Put it all together: Rainbooms' sleepover, Adagio calling Sunset, embarrassing tension, and phone sex.
I am never again eating a pineapple. Ever.
6747610 Well, I always hated pineapples, even without any horrific sexual experiences involving them. So, the way I see it... Meh, no big loss.
6747626
They were my second favorite fruit...
6747638 Well, I think that's the end of my fruit-based humor, so whatever you hold as number one should be safe.
6747644
Please don't destroy mandarin oranges.
I really liked the story i can nearly feel the emotions of fluttershy and sunset ;)
And now i need a third part that contains clop
6751955 I'm sorry to say that that probably won't happen. See, while I don't mind clopfics, and have even written one, I don't think I'm comfortable enough to publish any. Maybe, when I get a better feel for it, I'll come back to it, because this would be a prime story to base a clopfic on. Maybe the HuMane Six's revenge against Twilight's revenge becoming something they all enjoy...
Probably won't happen, but maybe. If the stars align just so.
I just read the prequel, and thought, "hey, the sequel can't be bad". But damn... Dude, this was rape. You actually wrote Twilight Sparkle drugging and (mind) rapping her friends. This is too frign' dark. This needs a sequel, where she has to face what she did, really.
I mean, can you honestly imagine having to feel you body being covered in burns while you're being abused by someone you considered a friend? Because you decided to share something you considered a compliment? That's what she did.
Can't give a like on this. Too much rape.
6897333 I think "rape" might be a bit much. She only ever did anything to Sunset, and that was probably the tamest one. I do agree that it's darker than intended, but I don't think that it's that far. Honestly, I didn't think this was dark at all. I put up that tag maybe a week or two after it was published. I guess I just don't get my audience
There will be a sequel that's about Twilight apologizing and them all having sex for real. Sorry if I disturbed you or anyone else. That really wasn't my intention, I just thought this was funny
This one, I'm going to refrain from correcting because there's enough that it might give me a headache, and I think we can all agree we aren't looking for grammatical perfection here.
6897588 Er... Thanks?
6897367 a valid point, still goes a bit too far for me. Doesn't matter if she didn't do anything with their bodies, to the mind it was a violation all the same. Unless there was that dreamlike quality that makes everything not quite real... Then it would still be bad, but more in a "inducing nightmares" quinda way.
Still, watching you, I wanna see how you'll handle the sequel ^^
6898687 Alright, that's fair. The next one will be generally more light-hearted in nature.
Headcanon VERY accepted. Not really religious myself, but the idea is hysterical.
I don't know how you got away without a Mature tag (I might've gone with it by choice because sex sells) but bravo.
7044720 Just managed to avoid it, I guess. Probably because, technically speaking, there was no actual sex in this story. Just foreplay and implications.
Hmmm, there will be sequel? Will read
--
Might warrant second look:
7082577 Jeez, I was drunk when I typed that, eh?
There's a thing called "disproportionate retribution". This is that. Now, was it the fact that Twilight just mind raped six of her friends? Or is it the fact that she gave them all worse punishments than she's given actual villains?
Yes.
7106059 Seriously, I think if you consider this mind-rape, you're far too sensitive. This is more like giving them a bad dream. Let's recap, shall we?
Pinkie: Twilight flirted with Pinkie, being rough and dominant like Pinkie hinted at in the first one, and then spooked her with the Walter White face.
Dash: She feels Dash up a bit (Dash doesn't actually seem to mind, does she?) and burns her (in a dream) with kisses.
AJ: Basically, AJ had a long dream where she did nothing.
Fluttershy: Dream Twilight did some unknown sexual act with a pineapple. This is arguably the worst.
Rarity: In this instance, Twilight only said that the two had sex. Whether they did or didn't is irrelevant, because the point of the punishment was to frustrate her.
The only person who was physically messed with was Sunny, and she got off fairly easy as well. Is what she did mean? Yes. Is it a bit cruel? Absolutely. But is it rape? I sure as hell don't think so.
7106347 I didn't say she was raping them in their minds. I said mind-rape. As in asserting force and control over someone's mind without their consent for malicious purposes. Worst part is, if the girls had actually done things to her in the last story, I wouldn't have had a problem here. No, that isn't even it. The worst part is when you think about the "Want it Need it" fiasco, this is entirely in character for Twilight.